eeg! 51-year-old actor marries a 16-year-old girl

[Amaris]

Joseph didn't seem to mind getting married to Mary, and she was almost 14 while he was about 41.
And for the record, all people of all ages make bad decisions. That's not exclusive to 16 year old adolescents.

I have no idea how old Joseph was when he married Mary, but I do know that a teenager's brain isn't fully developed, particularly in the lobe that influences executive function and decision making. So, yes, obviously people of all ages make bad decisions, but adolescents and teenagers make bad decisions precisely because the part of the brain which influences the ability to make good decisions (including thinking about consequences) is still under construction.

That hasn't stopped generations upon generations of 16 and under marriages. We also seem to allow 16 year olds to drive. Should we let someone who is apt to make poor decisions behind the wheel of a multi ton vehicle?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Hot teenagers are definitely hot, but also tend to be lousy in bed compared with girls in their 20s who have some experience.

I, uh, read it in a study or something.

 

[Myasishchev]

Hot teenagers are definitely hot, but also tend to be lousy in bed compared with girls in their 20s who have some experience.

I, uh, read it in a study or something.

That is no joke. When I was 18, I had a 17 year old girlfriend, who gave quasi-inept handjobs and didn't do oral. Lame.

 

[bryce]

I think most guys who complain are probably just jealous...


I won't say that "no 16 year old should marry, ever, period!" - because I have a female friend who, at 16 married her 25 year-old boyfriend (with her mom's consent - the father was deceased)...and they are still happily married today, 25 years later. She claims to this day that she was ready for marriage then, and mature enough to handle it, and the she doesn't regret it to this day. (Plus she was pregnant at the time, so better the kid was born in a 2-parent household with a working father, than to a single mother.)

Now, this happened in a rather rural part of Illinois, where relationships between teenage girls (usually around 16) and 20-something men is *still* fairly common - ans in MOST cases I'd say that it's a bad idea. At least, in most of the relationships of this type that I knew about (and I encountered quite a few) the girl was very immature, usually came from a dysfunctional home, and she dropped out of school (in fact, often the marriage was an excuse to eave both school and home) got pregnant right away (is she wasn't already) - and the relationships rarely lasted long.

So as a general rule, I'd say it's not a good idea for kids to marry at 16 - or 14....but I won't say that it's "NEVER" a good idea. Depends on the case. Most girls aren't mature enough at 16 to handle marriage and motherhood - but a few probably are. I've meet some very mature and capable 16 years olds...and some very immature and incapable 30 year olds...

And you know, most 16 year olds are sexually active these days anyway. I don't really see much different between a 16 yer old having sex with another 16 year old - or with a 16 year old. Sex is sex. Heck, there might even be advantages to a teen having a mature adult sexual partner rather than an immature, inexperienced partner.

As for THIS "marriage"....I still think it's a hoax. She looks a LOT older than 16 to me! I also am a little grossed out by it...but if it's legal, well, then it's not my business. (Hey, it worked for Jerry Lee Lewis! Well, sort of...)

And besides, if this 51 year old *DID* land a 16 year old...then it gives me hope that at 40 maybe I can land a 26 year old!


(Oh, and if we *do* raise the marriage age to 18 - then we need to lower the drinking age to 18 too!)

 

[Myasishchev]

Plus she was pregnant at the time, so better the kid was born in a 2-parent household with a working father, than to a single mother

None of which actually requires marriage.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Australia: 18, 16 with permission from a court and both parents (only granted in exceptional circumstances).

And then only if only one of the couple is under 18. Every now and then there is a big hooha about the injustice of 17 year old parents not being allowed to marry. I seem to recall reading that court granted permission was only given 50% of the time.

16 is ridiculous and I would think 99% guaranteed to cost the taxpayer money with the inevitable divorce proceedings.

 

[Dream]

16 is ridiculous and I would think 99% guaranteed to cost the taxpayer money with the inevitable divorce proceedings.

Taxpayers pay for divorce proceedings where you live?

In the states, the woman just takes everything her ex-husband has.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

My first thought - and current thought - is that no one that young could possibly consent, and thus any time we hear about a 16-year-old getting married (like now), they are being coerced or otherwise influenced against their will.

 

[Myasishchev]

My first thought - and current thought - is that no one that young could possibly consent, and thus any time we hear about a 16-year-old getting married (like now), they are being coerced or otherwise influenced against their will.

That's a rather draconian view of consent.

I generally agree that the dangers of marriage are sufficient enough, and the benefits conferred slight enough, that state refusal to recognize a valid marriage at 16 is reasonable, however.

 

[bryce]

Plus she was pregnant at the time, so better the kid was born in a 2-parent household with a working father, than to a single mother

None of which actually requires marriage.

Yes, but if the mom and dad are gonna live together and raise the kid together and live like they were a married couple for all intents and purposes...then what's the point of not allowing them to marry..?

All not letting them marry is accomplishing is making it harder for them to establish custody and who has medical consent and complicating legal and financial issues. It's isn't helping the mother or the child.

 

[RoJoHen]

I think most guys who complain are probably just jealous...

A 16-year old to me is still a child, regardless of how "mature" they may seem. I have no interest in ever being with someone that young. Frankly, I find it disgusting.

 

[Myasishchev]

Medical consent strikes me as just as/potentially complicated with a married couple, if they disagree.

Pregnancy is a bad reason to get married, and as I explained above, marriage is hard to extricate yourself from if you decide it was a bad idea. It's okay to protect minors from that.

Of course, they'd still need emancipation.

 

[Myasishchev]

I think most guys who complain are probably just jealous...

A 16-year old to me is still a child, regardless of how "mature" they may seem. I have no interest in ever being with someone that young. Frankly, I find it disgusting.

How about 17?

Yes, this is a trap, and not a subtle one, meant to illustrate the weaknesses of bright line rules. We can skip to the end and ask "what about 23 and 364 days, 365 on a leap year"?

 

[Miss Chicken]

Plus she was pregnant at the time, so better the kid was born in a 2-parent household with a working father, than to a single mother

None of which actually requires marriage.

Maybe not now but he was talking about 25+ years ago when 'living together' wasn't as acceptable as it is today. In Australia however 'living together' started to come acceptable in the late 70s.

 

[RoJoHen]

I think most guys who complain are probably just jealous...

A 16-year old to me is still a child, regardless of how "mature" they may seem. I have no interest in ever being with someone that young. Frankly, I find it disgusting.

How about 17?

Yes, this is a trap, and not a subtle one, meant to illustrate the weaknesses of bright line rules. We can skip to the end and ask "what about 23 and 364 days, 365 on a leap year"?

Nope, 17 is still weird.

I'm only 26, and honestly, the idea of being with anyone younger than 22-23 is a big turn-off for me. People that age, most of the time, just don't have the capacity to act like mature adults.

 

[Myasishchev]

My point is that bright line rules make sense for corporate entities like governments, who must process their constituents in bulk in order to achieve any simulacrum of fairness, but for individuals, all the strengths of bright line rules are meaningless, since individuals necessarily relate to other individuals as individuals.

I would certainly have a prejudice against a 16 year old suitress, but I would attempt to judge the case on its merits.

I mean, I started dating my ex when she was 17 and I was two days shy of my 22d birthday. Regardless of how well it worked out in the end, which is to say rather badly and with timing that could not possibly be worse, I don't regret the four or so good years.

 

[RoJoHen]

I just think certain things need to be left to the adults. A parent can't sign a waiver to allow a 16-year old to buy cigarettes and booze; they shouldn't be allowed to sign a waiver saying their allowed to get married. Marriage is too big a responsibility to put in the hands of children.

 

[DonIago]

I'd say it was put in the hands of the parent and the parent, hopefully after due consideration, approved it.

 

[Myasishchev]

I just think certain things need to be left to the adults. A parent can't sign a waiver to allow a 16-year old to buy cigarettes and booze; they shouldn't be allowed to sign a waiver saying their allowed to get married. Marriage is too big a responsibility to put in the hands of children.

Are we talking about marriage, or sex? I thought we were talking about sex.

(And getting a sex waiver from a parent is a little too weird, even for me.)

 

[RoJoHen]

I just think certain things need to be left to the adults. A parent can't sign a waiver to allow a 16-year old to buy cigarettes and booze; they shouldn't be allowed to sign a waiver saying their allowed to get married. Marriage is too big a responsibility to put in the hands of children.

Are we talking about marriage, or sex? I thought we were talking about sex.

(And getting a sex waiver from a parent is a little too weird, even for me.)

I was talking about marriage, but we can talk about sex, too. 16 is the age of consent in my state, but I'm still pretty sure there are age restrictions (a 51-year old can't just sleep with a 16-year old if he wants to).