DS9 Caption Contest #32: Encounters

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents! It's been 2 weeks, so lets get a new contest up and running!

First up, we have the "One halfmanship" Award going to:

So, Q and I were drinking together and I said "You aren't half the man I am" and Q said "oh yeah?"....

Next, the "Interior Design" Award goes to:

Bashir, thinking: Oh, my, do I always look this ridiculous?
Odo, thinking: Hmph. The only reason they say my face isn't realistic is because they're jealous.
Sisko, thinking: How did I manage to get so good looking?
Goldshirt, thinking: Why exactly did we put a mirror here?

Next, the "Awkward Pause, Mouth Organ or Touch my Glittery Ball" Award goes to:

Ding Dong

FERGUSON (o.c.): Who's that at the door?

SECRETARIAT!!!!!!

Next, the "We'll never win this battle, but it doesn't mean we're wrong" Award goes to:

Worf: It is only a toilet seat. I do not understand your concerns.

Next, the "Not gonna take any chances on this one" Award goes to:

Worf: What happened?
Bashir: I told her that Jadzia would have a difficult time carrying your child.

Kira: "Your legs won't be beamed over till Tuesday, chief."

Many thanks and congrats to all of our winners and participants! Now, lets move on to our brand new contest!

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Odo: I don't do the Vulcan Neck Pinch, I just break clavicles.

Bareil was about to break up with Kira, but decided to wait once she had him pinned to a wall.

Sisko: Really? Nobody remember to bring an umbrella?

Kassidy: Ben, come to bed.

Sisko: Leave me alone! My new Trek action figures finally arrived today!

Bashir: Commander, all I said was that you don't look as bad ass with hair-

ZAP!

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Quark: "Why don't I ever get massages for my neck cramps? Police discrimination if you ask me."

(2 days earlier)
Vedek Bariel: "The texts are a bit smudged, but I believe they say that we're supposed to practice vows of... celery? Celebrity?"
Vedek #2: "No, no. I'm sure it says Vedeks must take 'vows of celerity'..."

(present)
Vedek Bariel: "Alright Nerys, but we'll have to make this quick..."

Bashir: "I'm singing in the..."
Sisko: "Set phasers to kill."
Bashir: {silence}
Sisko: "That's what I thought."

Sisko: "Dammit! Garak's been placing little toy surveillance bugs in my model again."

Bashir: "I'm si..."
Sisko: "Fire!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Odo: "If he sneezes in here, with those four nostrils, well...it could take days to clean up"

Markalian: "Aaa....aaaa.....aaaaa......"

Quark: "Alright! Alright! I admit it! I was in on the gambling pool!"

Kira: "...no, I'm still not sure. Which of my bland and somewhat uninteresting boyfriends are you again? It's hard to tell sometimes"

Sisko: "Sisko phone home!"

Bashir: "Damn! Mirror Universe, again! Back in the transporter..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ALIEN: Gross, thats feels all slimey!!!!

KIRA: I like it rough.

BARIEL: Now there's a suprise.

SISKO: It's dark and its raining, that can only mean one thing...

BASHIR: We're about to be attacked by a crappy CGI monster?

KASSIDY: Is that a "Barbie's Dream House"?

SISKO: It's uh...for Molly O'Brien.

O'BRIEN: Looks like your Havok costume needs a little work, Julian.

 

[Gary7]

Markalian: "Oh, Odo... that feels so good! A little more to the right."
Odo: "I've already been over that part three times now. I think 3 hours of standing massage is enough. I feel like I've lost about 10 lbs since we started."

Kira: "Yep, they're definitely there. You've got two in one nostril and three in the other. I'll go get some tweezers."

Julian: "Are you detecting anything, Chief?"
O'Brien: "Yeah. Wetness. These crappy Starfleet issue away mission boots aren't the least bit waterproof."

Sisko: "We have to live on this sterile and boring Cardassian decor station, but I won't let that stop me of building my own dream home."
Kassidy: "But it's only a model."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sisko: "I'm afraid something terrible may have happened! I found Barbie in bed with G.I. Joe this morning! And there's blood in the hallway and I can't find Ken anywhere!"

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Kira: "What's the matter? Don't you love me anymore?"
Bareil: "You have spinach in your teeth."

Thanks for the win btw!

 

[Isis]

Odo: "Good song choice, but you need to work on the pitchiness."

Kira: "How dare you show your face in a nicer earring than mine."

When Starfleet cut salaries, Sisko moonlighted as a parking valet at The Stinking Gorn.

 

[Gary7]

When Starfleet cut salaries, Sisko moonlighted as a parking valet at The Stinking Gorn.

Hehehee, good one Isis.

(The Stinking Gorn)

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the runabout

Alien: "Just where is our future, the things we've done and said!
Let's just push the button, we'd be better off dead!
'Cause I hate you!
And I berate you!
And I can't wait to get to you!

The sins of all our fathers, being dumped on us – the sons.
The only choice we're given is how many megatons?
And I eschew you!
And I say, screw you!
And I hope you're blue, too.

We're all bloody worthless,... "

Odo: nerve pinches alien.

Quark's bar: applauds

Odo: "It's the classics..."

Bareil: "That's not what you grab to check my pagh."

Sisko: "What do you think? I paid a third the going rate because I was the Emissary."
Bashir: "It's... bracing..."
O'Brien: "Wet is what it is. I'm from Ireland. I know wet."
Sisko: "That's just the rain. When it stops raining, the view is divine. At least that's what the salesman tells me."
O'Brien: "How often does it rain?"
Sisko: "Ohhh. 13 months out of the year. Daylight hours only though. At night you get to hear the divine Bajoran Howling winds of the Prophets."
Bashir: "A third the going rate, huh?"
O'Brien: "Was this salesman short, snaggletoothed, with big ears?"

Kasidy: "So did you take a look at the land? Ben? How was it? What are you doing to that model?"
Sisko: "Installing soundproofing and water proofing."

Dukat: "I've always wanted to do this. In a minute, he'll go all glittery, throw his arms and head back, and change into someone completely different. Hopefully someone less annoying."

Bashir: "Wrong Doctor you moron!"

 

[highlander]

Sisko: "....and in this room I'm gonna grow weed."

 

[highlander]

Miles: "Sir I am reading a very large computer, a strangely shaped automobile, a giant penny, an adult male and a teenage boy....it seems they are sliding down a pole."

 

[SilentP]

Odo: I'm not pinching him that hard...

Quark: Not everyone carries their genitals in the same place, Constable.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Alien: "If you have one hand on my shoulder, and one on my arm, what's conducting the body cavity search."

Odo: "I'm a shapeshifter. It's another hand."

Alien: "Oh thank God!"

 

[Gary7]

O'Brien: "You guys are not going to believe this... I think we've found the Horta homeworld!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Sisko: "Well, shit. Looks like someone jacked our runabout."

O'brien: "I'll call a cab."

Sisko: "Forget the fucking cab, dial the police!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kasidy was disturbed by just how often the Dukat action figure got into the house. The Sisko figure usually stopped him on the landing. Usually.

 

[NathanielM]

O'Brien "<under breath> "Rain Rain go away, come back another day!"

Sisko: What was that O'Brien?

O'Brien: Nothing sir...

 

[Mistral]

Sisko: "What does the tricorder say, Chief?"

O'Brien: "That we should encounter the storm in about 400 more meters."

Sisko: "Did you calibrate that before we left?"