When did you last have sex?

[Satyrquaze]

^ Isn't that what the title suggests?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I didn't think it would have this much staying power.

 

[Satyrquaze]

Thats what she said!

 

[Gaith]

I once thought sex was the best thing on the planet, especially with my husband, but then he made his Red Velvet Cake, now that was 1000X better than sex.

Note to self: never make a S.O. Red Velvet cake!

 

[HoneyBLilly]

^^ S.O?

 

[Gaith]

Significant Other

 

[HoneyBLilly]

^ Oh.

*facepalm*

I really need to dye my hair. The blonde's coming back.

 

[Myasishchev]

I can never just roll over and take a nap, too much clean up afterwards. Sleeping in a puddle of goo of indeterminate origin just isn't appealing.

ooow I love to do that, it sexy and hot as hell.

Yes, nothing like waking up with dried up with dried spooge crusted on your leg hair in a bed that smells like vinegar and tuna.

Either my sense of smell has been ruined by Big Tobacco, which I admit is possible, or that's a personal problem.

 

[Kestra]

I like how this thread has morphed into the "sex update" thread.

Yeah, thanks for that.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I like how this thread has morphed into the "sex update" thread.

Yeah, thanks for that.

I love you too, Kestra.

 

[Amaris]

*looks at J. Allen in antici...pation*

[rips away pants]

I cut lines in them for ease of removal.

Excellent planning skillz! Well done, sir.

(Now, if only I could remember what happens next. It's been a while...*whistles innocently to cover* )

[puts on top hat and monocle]

 

[Capn Flukie]

[rips away pants]

I cut lines in them for ease of removal.

Excellent planning skillz! Well done, sir.

(Now, if only I could remember what happens next. It's been a while...*whistles innocently to cover* )

[puts on top hat and monocle]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1vH2rjUshk[/yt]

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

That's not the original singer.


[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HAjhtPZGDY[/yt]


That one is.

 

[Captain_Nick]

I was gonna post 'right now' but it seems you guys have the lame jokes already covered

 

[Avalon]

[rips away pants]

I cut lines in them for ease of removal.

Excellent planning skillz! Well done, sir.

(Now, if only I could remember what happens next. It's been a while...*whistles innocently to cover* )

[puts on top hat and monocle]

Waitaminute...top hat, monocle...and no pants?

You're MR.PEANUT?!?

I can work with that.

 

[TorontoTrekker]

I didn't realize so many people plan out when they're going to have sex.

Well, I don't plan it out so much, as hope for it under certain circumstances. You see, I'm going to be in Atlanta in two weeks, and for some reason the boys in Atlanta really like me... must be the accent. I think I've had more sex in eight or so trips to Atlanta than I've had in the last five years here in Toronto.

Okay, some of those trips were because I was in a long-distance relationship for a year and a half with someone who lives there... but where do you suppose we met?

I just hope this damned gout clears up before then.

 

[Amaris]

Excellent planning skillz! Well done, sir.

(Now, if only I could remember what happens next. It's been a while...*whistles innocently to cover* )

[puts on top hat and monocle]

Waitaminute...top hat, monocle...and no pants?

You're MR.PEANUT?!?

I can work with that.

Like Mr. Peanut, I'm suitably salty and quite satisfying.

 

[Skywalker]

Salty? Drink some pineapple juice or something, man!

 

[Kestra]

I didn't realize so many people plan out when they're going to have sex.

Well, I don't plan it out so much, as hope for it under certain circumstances.

I guess that makes sense? I'm not going to see my husband again until the end of May but I can't imagine thinking to come post in this thread the day before going "Tomorrow! " or something like that. If it happens it happens.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

[puts on top hat and monocle]

Waitaminute...top hat, monocle...and no pants?

You're MR.PEANUT?!?

I can work with that.

Like Mr. Peanut, I'm suitably salty and quite satisfying.

And i always thought they called you "Old Salt" as a cute, nautical-themed nickname. Boy was I wrong ...