Funny things children say

[Schistocerca]

Hi everyone,

My stepdaughter Lucy is pregnant and when she was baby sitting her 3 year old niece Amber she thought she would tell her about the news. According to Lucy the conversation went something like this:

Lucy: Amber guess what I have in my tummy?
Amber: Ice cream?
Lucy: No.
Amber: Cake?
Lucy: No.
Amber: Sweets?
Lucy: No. I have a baby in my tummy.
Amber (looking shocked): Aunty Lucy, you never ate a baby!

Any body here got any funny (true) out of the mouths of children stories?

 

[Mary Ann]

I was standing in the checkout queue at a grocery store with my then 5-year-old daughter when she asked me in a very loud voice why we hadn't gone down the wine aisle, because we always did that.

Parenting win!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I was standing in the checkout queue at a grocery store with my then 5-year-old daughter when she asked me in a very loud voice why we hadn't gone down the wine aisle, because we always did that.

 

[Schistocerca]

I was standing in the checkout queue at a grocery store with my then 5-year-old daughter when she asked me in a very loud voice why we hadn't gone down the wine aisle, because we always did that.

Parenting win!

I love it. Yes wine, or as we used to say, that is mummy's special medicine!

 

[scotpens]

Once I was waiting at the drugstore to pick up a prescription when I saw a boy, about ten years old, trying out the self-service blood pressure meter. He looked puzzled, walked over to his father who was also waiting in line, and said, “Dad, either that machine is broken or I’m dead.”

Sounds like me at that age.

 

[thestrangequark]

For our unit on birds I have my 2nd grade students do an "Adopt-A-Bird" project: they learn all about one bird, filling out "adoption" papers, and then make a model of that bird. A few years ago I had a student who had missed the day we talked about habitat, and came up to ask me what the word was when he was filling out his papers. I said, "That says 'habitat'," and he asked, "What is habitat?" I said, "It's where your bird lives. Where do you think your bird lives?" He looked down at his oriole, looked back up at me, and said, "Baltimore?"

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

My 6 year old niece asked me once how old my dad was. I told her that he was old. She responded by asking, "Is he ten?"

 

[Peach Wookiee]

One of the little kids in my niece's preschool class guessed that I was 19 on my most recent birthday. He has learned early that you lowball a lady's age.

 

[Thestral]

"What is habitat?" I said, "It's where your bird lives. Where do you think your bird lives?" He looked down at his oriole, looked back up at me, and said, "Baltimore?"

Smart kid!

 

[scotpens]

This is secondhand so I can’t vouch for its authenticity, but I read about a first-grader who, when asked what the equator is, said it was “a menagerie lion running through Africa.”

 

[Gil T.Azell]

One of the time I had let my hair grow (10-1/2 months) for a fund raiser and had it cut off.
My friends daughter who was four at the time gave me a quizzical look the day after
her Mom said "Where is Bill's hair"
and she shrugs her shoulders and said "Its gone Bidys hair is gone"

some times its just the cute way the pronounce it.

 

[Schistocerca]

This is secondhand so I can’t vouch for its authenticity, but I read about a first-grader who, when asked what the equator is, said it was “a menagerie lion running through Africa.”

These are all great and very funny, but I especially like this one.

 

[Australis]

My younger son, when he was 4, wanted to do something his brother was doing, but his Mum said he had to wait until he was bigger.

He replied, with a pleading face, "I big in a minute!"

Another time he needed to pee, and his Mum said, "Go behind that tree". He pulled a face confused and disgusted, and said, "Dogs do that!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

I was standing in the checkout queue at a grocery store with my then 5-year-old daughter when she asked me in a very loud voice why we hadn't gone down the wine aisle, because we always did that.

Parenting win!

Morning cawfee spew!!!!!!!!


When my son was around 4 we had to have our cesspool opened and drained. My son and i were watching the guy work from inside the house...and as the man took the 2' round cement cover off the cesspool my son pointed to the little hole in the ground and said, "We swim in that???"

 

[backstept]

I had a customer come in with a little boy . . . maybe 3 or 4
the kid just kept saying 'LOSER!' quite loudly
I thought it was hilarious

 

[Theodore Jay Miller]

We try to get my niece to say good-bye to me when I'm leaving after a visit. One time I said "Can you say 'bye bye Uncle Ted'?", and she just said "Yes". Another time she started to say "bye", then changed it to "Hello, Uncle Ted", grabbed my hand, and tried to drag me back in.

 

[Schistocerca]

We try to get my niece to say good-bye to me when I'm leaving after a visit. One time I said "Can you say 'bye bye Uncle Ted'?", and she just said "Yes". Another time she started to say "bye", then changed it to "Hello, Uncle Ted", grabbed my hand, and tried to drag me back in.

It always amazes me how logical little kids minds are. When my nephew was about 4 he was playing with an old
colander in his sand pit building sand castles and I said carefull all the sand is pouring out. He looked at me like I was some kind on nitwit, looked at the colander and said, of course the sand is escaping, it has a holes in it!

 

[backstept]

when I was 2 or 3 I told my mom this:
"At the conclusion of the word hamburger, Ben says booger."
Ben is my younger brother
we still get a laugh out of that

 

[Sparky]

I was in EB Games last year just browsing for a cheap game to buy, when I felt something pressing against my belly. I look down and this little boy who is 3 maybe 4 years old, was standing there reaching up with his hand on my stomach. He looks up at me straight in the eyes and says matter of factly "Hi, you're a fat guy." I was kind of stunned so all I could come up with was "Yep". Then his face lights up like he has just uncovered the world's most interesting fact and he say "Ok, bye!" Then he ran off.

 

[Mary Ann]

My all-time favourite story took place in my son's preschool. A police officer had come to give a talk to the kids, and when the officer showed the kids his handcuffs a little girl said, "Ooh, my mummy and daddy have those!"

The staff members couldn't stop laughing for several minutes.