Voyager Caption Contest #48: It's all in the wrist

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Seska: Hello, boys and girls! Tonight on Sesame Street, Maje Culluh and I will show you just what happens when you replace Voyager's bio neural gel packs with Folgers Crystals!

 

[LeadHead]

The Producers resorted to Desperate Tactics to get Mulgrew to stay on after Season 5...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway resorted to extreme measures to get rid of acne.

 

[Schistocerca]

Drone to Janeway "Now looking at the letters in the top row can you tell me is that better or worse?"

 

[Schistocerca]

Most critics agreed; the Donny and Marie Christmas specials had gone quite avant garde in latter years.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Seska: "It's true when I first met Culluh in person, he didn't look at all like his Match.com photo. But, really, can you blame him?"

 

[Bob Karo]

Seska: See you after the "Experiment," Losers! Push the button Culluh.

 

[Bob Karo]

On a personal note: This image just brings back the warm and fuzzies I felt while reading Before Dishonor. Thanks PAD!
































Yeah yeah... ya'll gonna kill me... blah blah blah....

 

[LeadHead]

Captains Log: WORST BIRTHDAY EVER.

 

[Brikar99]

Tired of Janeway's constant meddling, the Borg Queen decided who was going to be the middle of her human centipede...

 

[CorporalCaptain]

R'Mor: Captain Janeway, would that be Tuvok, son of T'Meni?

Janeway: Tuvok, you have met Doctor R'Mor?

Tuvok: Telek R'Mor was a Romulan diplomat I met while serving aboard the Excelsior.

R'Mor (lifting the EP-5000): And I have never forgotten! I still remember how we lay for hours, and indulged each other's fantasies with this.

Paris whistles. Everyone looks at Tuvok who starts to fidget.

R'Mor: But then you left. You returned to Vulcan to study the Kolinahr. To mend my broken heart I stopped socializing and threw myself into science. Then, I secluded myself on the fringes of Romulan space. But I still keep our '5000 with me always!

Chakotay: Sounds like a certain chief of security might have some explaining to do.

Janeway: I very much agree. Tuvok, I'll see you in my quarters tonight at 23:30. In the meantime, I'll be in sickbay, getting ready! Thank you, Doctor R'Mor. Please continue with my first officer, Commander Chakotay.

Janeway hurriedly departs. Everyone is still staring at Tuvok.

Tuvok: At the time it seemed the logical thing to do.

R'Mor: Logical, my ass!

Everyone including R'Mor laughs at the double entendre, except Tuvok who sulks. Voyager warps off into space. The end.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Tuvok: I fail to understand why my move did not generate more order.

Kim (thinking to self): That's because I'm palming a t'an! I guess you're not so smart after all!

 

[LeadHead]

Telek: With this device, I will finally be able go back in time and become a Starfleet Admiral!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TELEK: Look, I dont know anyone named "Forrest" or "Korris"! I just have a very common face!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Some crossover fun:

SEVEN: I have made contact with the Enterprise, Captain.

RIKER: Dayaaam!!!! Talk about your Borg enhancements!!!!!

 

[Mistral]

Tuvok: "Magnets, Mr. Kim. God, you Humans are stupid!"

 

[Mistral]

Seska: "No, Culluh, of course they can't see us. Relax!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Culluh: And this is my mate, Snooki of Cardassia.

 

[LeadHead]

Seska: I knew you would try to stop us with a tractor beam. You've always been-

Tuvok: The Kazon ship has been boarded and the crew arrested Captain.

Seska: They discovered my one weakness!

Culluh: What?

Seska: Taking waaaay too long to get to my point.

Doctor: Sorry little dude, you're out of the band.

Tuvok: No, Mister Neelix. Removing all the pieces from the board does not result in a victory.

Janeway: Wait, how was this plan supposed to work again?

Telek: Thanks for technology 20 years ahead of my time frame, Suckers!

 

[Isis]

Next on Dr. Phil: Plastic surgery junkies.

Tuvok: "Mr. Kim, isn't it obvious this isn't finished yet? That one piece is sticking out like a sore thumb--it's 3.78 millimeters too far to the right."