At this point I am seriously considering the possibility that I am living in someone else's pre-scripted situation comedy. Even from my perspective, I have to admit the whole thing is pretty funny.
Okay, first, the basics: I am in Japan now and will return to California in April. I have had a wonderful year here and I am glad that I came, but my family is in an unstable situation and it would be tremendously beneficial if I were at least in the vicinity. My sister and my mother both suffer from diabetes (different types) and my sister has down syndrome. This leaves no one but my father to undertake my family's upcoming labor-intensive relocation into a less expensive house, unless they hire on a lot of help which they can't afford. On top of that my sister has been near impossible to control with me away and my parents feel she will be better off if she can see me.
I came to Japan for two reasons. One of which I came to end up regretting, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't a very strong factor in the decision. Number one, the one I am not ashamed of, is my interest in the country and its language. I majored in the language in college and wanted to use my skills. Aside from that... I kind of fell in love with one of my Japanese friends and wanted to be near her.
That fell apart in December of 2009, three months before I moved to Japan, when she inexplicably stopped communicating with me, effectively ending whatever relationship we had.
To understand why this was especially disheartening, we must rewind three years to 2006, my second year of college. At the time I was interested in a girl, who was my best friend. That is, until she inexplicably stopped communicating with me, effectively ending whatever relationship we had. Sound familiar? Yeah. We'll be seeing more of that.
Last year, in September of 2010, Girl From College contacts me over Facebook, realizing that she had made a mistake to shut me out of her life and wanting to start over. When she first wrote me, my first reaction was quite uncharacteristic anger. She had hurt me, and part of me wanted to hurt her back. But I realized that I'm not that kind of person. I began talking to her and discovered that I could forgive her. She has apologized for her actions in the past, and though her reason for it is no more satisfying than a simple troubled emotional state, in the here and now I am very happy to have her in my life. She has truly turned her life around and I have come to respect her and care for as I did in the past, and I am looking forward to being with her upon my return.
Now comes the tricky part. Today, with a short 40 days left of my stay in Japan, Girl From Japan contacts me... over Facebook... realizing that she had made a mistake to shut me out of her life and... wanting to start over. Yeah...
Here's the way I see it going down. This changes nothing for me. I am going home for the time being and if I return to Japan in the future, it will not be because of her or any other girl (just as my decision to return to California was made before the girl there reentered my life). Part of me wants to do what she did to me in December of 2009, ignore her attempt to contact me completely. But I can't do that. It isn't me. I will send her an email, at least. Maybe meet her in a very public environment. I'm not angry anymore, really. I don't think I ever was. I rarely feel anger. Sadness, yes. But not anger. At the very least, this makes me feel better. Both of these cases make me feel like I didn't do anything wrong. That what happened between me and these two girls wasn't my fault.
So, yeah, it is kind of relieving on a personal level. Then I take a step back and laugh. Seriously. What the hell?
Okay, first, the basics: I am in Japan now and will return to California in April. I have had a wonderful year here and I am glad that I came, but my family is in an unstable situation and it would be tremendously beneficial if I were at least in the vicinity. My sister and my mother both suffer from diabetes (different types) and my sister has down syndrome. This leaves no one but my father to undertake my family's upcoming labor-intensive relocation into a less expensive house, unless they hire on a lot of help which they can't afford. On top of that my sister has been near impossible to control with me away and my parents feel she will be better off if she can see me.
I came to Japan for two reasons. One of which I came to end up regretting, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't a very strong factor in the decision. Number one, the one I am not ashamed of, is my interest in the country and its language. I majored in the language in college and wanted to use my skills. Aside from that... I kind of fell in love with one of my Japanese friends and wanted to be near her.
That fell apart in December of 2009, three months before I moved to Japan, when she inexplicably stopped communicating with me, effectively ending whatever relationship we had.
To understand why this was especially disheartening, we must rewind three years to 2006, my second year of college. At the time I was interested in a girl, who was my best friend. That is, until she inexplicably stopped communicating with me, effectively ending whatever relationship we had. Sound familiar? Yeah. We'll be seeing more of that.
Last year, in September of 2010, Girl From College contacts me over Facebook, realizing that she had made a mistake to shut me out of her life and wanting to start over. When she first wrote me, my first reaction was quite uncharacteristic anger. She had hurt me, and part of me wanted to hurt her back. But I realized that I'm not that kind of person. I began talking to her and discovered that I could forgive her. She has apologized for her actions in the past, and though her reason for it is no more satisfying than a simple troubled emotional state, in the here and now I am very happy to have her in my life. She has truly turned her life around and I have come to respect her and care for as I did in the past, and I am looking forward to being with her upon my return.
Now comes the tricky part. Today, with a short 40 days left of my stay in Japan, Girl From Japan contacts me... over Facebook... realizing that she had made a mistake to shut me out of her life and... wanting to start over. Yeah...
Here's the way I see it going down. This changes nothing for me. I am going home for the time being and if I return to Japan in the future, it will not be because of her or any other girl (just as my decision to return to California was made before the girl there reentered my life). Part of me wants to do what she did to me in December of 2009, ignore her attempt to contact me completely. But I can't do that. It isn't me. I will send her an email, at least. Maybe meet her in a very public environment. I'm not angry anymore, really. I don't think I ever was. I rarely feel anger. Sadness, yes. But not anger. At the very least, this makes me feel better. Both of these cases make me feel like I didn't do anything wrong. That what happened between me and these two girls wasn't my fault.
So, yeah, it is kind of relieving on a personal level. Then I take a step back and laugh. Seriously. What the hell?
Now who could play Goji in a movie? Ryan Reynolds?
