Today I almost shoved an employee at Target

[Gryffindorian]

WARNING: This post may contain strong language. Reader discretion is advised.

So I went to Target this afternoon to pick up some items. (To be specific, I bought a two-pack set of daylight bulbs for the bathroom, a Coleman LED lantern, and four "D" batteries).

When I was ready to check out, I noticed there were at least four registers open, and that's usually the norm on weekday afternoons. My buddy, a nice Filipino lady named Yolanda, wasn't working today, because I would've gone to her register and chatted with her. Anyway, I approached this rather good-looking Guido-type twenty-something guy, and although he wasn't very muscular like those douchebags on The Jersey Shore, he was cute.

As I approached the register, I could hear Cute Guy talking to another male co-worker at a nearby register. They sounded like they were talking about another guy. Cute Guy said to his co-worker, "Man, he s*cked d*ck," or something to that effect, which left me a bit flabbergasted. This was after a lady ahead of me had just paid for her merchandise, too.

My point is, there are some things you should NEVER say out loud in public, especially if you work in customer service. It's not that I was offended. I don't doubt the pleasure people get from oral sex, which I hear is quite good. I don't think Cute Guy meant to be homophobic in the sense (maybe he was; maybe he was gay, too), but he and his colleague were deriding another person as if to say, "Man, that guy s*cks monkey b*llz!" Fine, that's the type of conversation guys should keep to themselves, in private, while they're not on the clock.

Under any other circumstances, I would've gone Jeff O'Connor on this guy or talked to the manager. However, if this ever happens again, I won't be so tolerant.

 

[MANT!]

Well, customer service has deteriorated over many years...

When I was working for Radio Shack part-time, we were told to NEVER carry on any personal conversations when a customer was present..it'd better relate to the job until the customers were gone...


When I go to one now, it's the same as those Target employees you mentioned...

 

[Kestra]

I'm a little confused. It's just an expression, even if it is a crude or offensive one. And it's certainly inappropriate to say something like that at a job, but reacting physically? That's just as inappropriate if not more so.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I think you missed the point of the other thread entirely by kind of bragging about almost resorting to violence. The near universal answer in the other thread was that while standing up to bigotry was admirable, responding with violence was wrong (but at least somewhat understandable there).

Yours is not even comparable to the other situation, though, since you're only guessing that there might have been some homophobic content based on the tone of their voice/context(?) from an incomplete conversation you overheard. It could just as easily be some gay guy relaying something that happened to him or just someone mocking a friend with no homophobic intent, while the other one was overt and repeated bigotry in the presence of adults and children of the group being mocked.

Either way, your situation was clearly inappropriate conversation for an employee to be having in public, so reporting him to his manager would be an appropriate reaction. But your desired violent response would have been such an over-the-top escalation to something you weren't even sure about that you would have been the aggressor and the "bad guy" in the situation.

 

[bigdaddy]

We can't say suck or dick?

Minimum wage jobs, people at Toys R Us said worse to the people shopping there!

 

[Gryffindorian]

I think you missed the point of the other thread entirely by kind of bragging about almost resorting to violence. The near universal answer in the other thread was that while standing up to bigotry was admirable, responding with violence was wrong (but at least somewhat understandable there).

Yours is not even comparable to the other situation, though, since you're only guessing that there might have been some homophobic content based on the tone of their voice/context(?) from an incomplete conversation you overheard. It could just as easily be some gay guy relaying something that happened to him or just someone mocking a friend with no homophobic intent, while the other one was overt and repeated bigotry in the presence of adults and children of the group being mocked.

Either way, your situation was clearly inappropriate conversation for an employee to be having in public, so reporting him to his manager would be an appropriate reaction. But your desired violent response would have been such an over-the-top escalation to something you weren't even sure about that you would have been the aggressor and the "bad guy" in the situation.

Locutus and Kestra, I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression. Actually, the title of this thread was a parody of Jeff O'Connor's thread on racism. No, I'm not the kind of person who goes around shoving people to the ground. Just as I mentioned in my other thread, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. In Jeff's case, I realize (as he does, too) that what he did when he got physical with the bigot was not appropriate.

I just wanted to be clear on that.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

All that fucking cursing can sometimes be a god damned problem. Other times, bullshit like that just has to be ignored. People like that are assholes in public, so, while decorum is appreciated, sometimes you just have to ignore people that piss you off. Certainly, don't fucking resort to violence over a little profanity, just ask them to stop. Especially over a phrase like "sucked dick." Maybe if he had called someone a cocksucker, it would be a bit stronger (although both are interesting in that, when separated, they become harmless, while, together, Lenny Bruce gets arrested).

Anyway, my two motherfuckin' cents for this motherfuckin' thread.

 

[Capn Flukie]

I misread the title as 'shaved'.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I was just a little bothered, though I wasn't offended personally (like I said, I don't think he was being homophobic in his remark). Believe me, I've heard so much worse things said. Target happens to be my favorite store, and I'd never known their employees to be crude or unprofessional. In fact, they're usually quite courteous and helpful. Like in any other retail environment, I can see how this type of situation can happen, but it shouldn't, and that's my point.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I misread the title as 'shaved'.

Yeah, just like my hard disk was shrinking in size.

 

[Captain_Nick]

Where I work one of the kids had one of those 'FCUK' designer shirts on .. we actually got complaints from customers about that. Maybe when I am sixty I will understand why .. at the moment I can't fathom why anyone would allow themselves to be bothered by trivial things like that.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Under any other circumstances, I would've gone Jeff O'Connor on this guy or talked to the manager.

Quoted for clarification: Under extreme circumstances, I would've lost my temper and perhaps done something similar to Jeff O'Connor in the other thread. But for me to go completely berserk, it would take a lot more than a few profanities.

However, if this ever happens again, I won't be so tolerant.

If I felt that the employee (or any employee, for that matter) was out of line and was speaking without respect in the presence of many customers, I would definitely not hesitate to talk to the manager about it. Sorry, I was exaggerating.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Target happens to be my favorite store, and I'd never known their employees to be crude or unprofessional.

My first "real job" was working minimum wage as a cart boy (or "cart bitch" as we were affectionately referred to by the other employees) at Target as a teenager over the summer, back before they had them newfangled cart machines the young punks use these days that do all the work for them. Back then we would have to move groups of a hundred or so carts by hand in the searing heat, which while a good workout was pretty miserable. And then as a reward for our hard work in the California sun, we got to come inside to clean the bathrooms every once in a while. I still managed to remain polite to customers, but let me tell you, it was hard, especially with the rude ones and ones who made stupid requests or asked stupid questions.

Needless to say, I found a nice job in the air conditioned shoe department at the Mervyn's across the street soon after, for much better pay and benefits too (I bought a lot of shoes that year with my discount).

None of which really has anything to do with your thread, I just wanted to relay my fascinating experience with Target employment.

 

[Sparky]

I misread the title as 'shaved'.

Yeah, just like my hard disk was shrinking in size.

Well, if I thought someone here wanted to shave a Target employee, my hard disk would shrink in size too!

 

[Trekker4747]

We can't say suck or dick?

Minimum wage jobs, people at Toys R Us said worse to the people shopping there!

We can, for some reason the OP decided to censor himself because I guess saying "d*ck" is somehow better than saying "dick."

Somehow.

In the other thread, the shoving in the fast-food place, I think the shoving and encounter was fine in the context given, here not so much. It was part of a conversation devoid of full context and wanting to react in a violent manner would be uncalled for.

Now, the conversation the employee(s) were having was inappropriate to have in front of the customers and this should be relayed to them or the supervisor but physical action? I think such a thing would have been a bit over the top.

All of that aside, you only no part of the context nor do you know the meaning behind the words. People are quick to react when they hear words but just because you hear a word, a derogatory word towards a group especially, people are quick to rush to the most extreme use of that word. Anyone who says the "n-word" or tells a "racist joke" is a racist.

That's not the case. It's possible to tell a joke with racist themes to it without the joke teller himself being racist. It's possible to say the "n-word" and not be a racist or even have racist feelings behind it. It's just a word.

Louis C.K. has a humorous bit on the "F-Word" (not "fuck" but the derogatory term for gay people) where he pretty much says that reacting to that word is an over-reaction. Now, granted that word has certain connotations to it in its etymology but there was just a time were it was a word to mean a person who just an screwy or an oddball, not necessarily someone who was a gay.

It's all about context. It certainly can be used as a derogatory term in the right contexts. He has another bit he says this on using the word "Jew" saying that word is both the thing you can call the people legitimately as a form of short-hand for a group of people or it can be used as a slur against a group of people.

Context.

You didn't have it in this case. The guy in the line, sure, was having a conversation he should not have been having in front of customers but what he is saying should make no impression on himself, others around him or his beliefs.

The other poster's incident, however was an entirely different context given the language used, near by patrons, the context of the language and having the bulk of the context.

Some guy making in an off-hand comment at the register? Hardly the case to take aggressive action.

 

[bigdaddy]

We can't say suck or dick?

Minimum wage jobs, people at Toys R Us said worse to the people shopping there!

We can, for some reason the OP decided to censor himself because I guess saying "d*ck" is somehow better than saying "dick."

Somehow.

And the day someone explains that to me is the day I say fudge instead of fuck.

 

[Trekker4747]

To, again, to censor words like that (along with saying "the n-word", that actual phrase not the word itself) makes someone the bigger prick because it makes the listener, or the reader in this case, say it in their head.

Though I will admit I'm not one to say the n-word at all.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Thanks, Trekker. As I said, I exaggerated quite a bit but meant to take no hostile actions.

As for censorship, I didn't want to sound too direct or too crude, as we already have the issue of people getting offended by sexist/sexual comments.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Target happens to be my favorite store, and I'd never known their employees to be crude or unprofessional.

My first "real job" was working minimum wage as a cart boy (or "cart bitch" as we were affectionately referred to by the other employees) at Target as a teenager over the summer, back before they had them newfangled cart machines the young punks use these days that do all the work for them. Back then we would have to move groups of a hundred or so carts by hand in the searing heat, which while a good workout was pretty miserable. And then as a reward for our hard work in the California sun, we got to come inside to clean the bathrooms every once in a while. I still managed to remain polite to customers, but let me tell you, it was hard, especially with the rude ones and ones who made stupid requests or asked stupid questions.

Needless to say, I found a nice job in the air conditioned shoe department at the Mervyn's across the street soon after, for much better pay and benefits too (I bought a lot of shoes that year with my discount).

None of which really has anything to do with your thread, I just wanted to relay my fascinating experience with Target employment.

My first-ever job was working part-time at McDonald's during the summer of 1990, and it was the worst job I ever had. (That goes without saying for anyone who has ever worked in fast food.) But if I figure, if I didn't work in accounting or for a public agency, Target would be one of my employers of choice. (My second would've been Borders, but they've gone bankrupt now.) I love Target--the variety of items and reasonable prices, the clean and organized shopping environment, and the friendliness and professionalism of most staff.

 

[Small White Car]

It's all about context. It certainly can be used as a derogatory term in the right contexts. He has another bit he says this on using the word "Jew" saying that word is both the thing you can call the people legitimately as a form of short-hand for a group of people or it can be used as a slur against a group of people.

Context.

You didn't have it in this case. The guy in the line, sure, was having a conversation he should not have been having in front of customers but what he is saying should make no impression on himself, others around him or his beliefs.

The other poster's incident, however was an entirely different context given the language used, near by patrons, the context of the language and having the bulk of the context.

Some guy making in an off-hand comment at the register? Hardly the case to take aggressive action.

Yes, we lack context. I find it interesting, however, that your default is to assume the BEST in people. That you think it's not offensive until proven otherwise.

My mind works backwards. If I saw someone frown and mutter "jew" under their breath while looking at a Jewish person I'd assume it was derogatory until I learned something that made me think I was wrong.

But you'd assume that person is a-ok until you had more context to prove otherwise?

Like I said, I guess my mind just works backwards from yours. You've got a nice 'innocent until proven guilty' thing going on in your mind, which is admirable. I'm not criticizing you, I just find it interesting.