Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

[F. King Daniel]

Daniel-1 slowly opens the box left by the oddly familiar delivery guy. He hears the Geiger counter he keeps in the trunk under his bed in the appartment above the coffee shop start clicking from all the way out here.

"Let's try not to think about that..." Daniel-1 mutters as he pulls a rather plain metal box from the slightly larger plain metal box. This box has three buttons on top, in red, blue and green. There are odd glyphs above each button. There is no obvious way to aim it, or any clue as to what it does except emit radiation.

"Suggestions, please?" asks Daniel-1, his hand hovering over the buttons, the crackle of the geiger counter inside, upstairs and in a heavy box across the street ringing in his ears.

 

[Salad Shooter]

"Suggestions, please?" asks Daniel-1, his hand hovering over the buttons, the crackle of the geiger counter inside, upstairs and in a heavy box across the street ringing in his ears.

The instruction leaflet --which was stuck to the bottom of the item -- falls to the floor.

In plain simple English:

"To use your Ultimate Power Source, simply attach one wire to the red glyph, and one to the green glyph and press the blue button. Attach other end of the wires to the device you wish to power (such as a plasma cannon) or simply stick them up your nose.

WARNING: Do not ingest Ultimate Power Source and utter the words THIS CANNOT BE I AM INVINCIBLE. CERN, Global Atomx International and Nuclear-Brothers LLC will not be held responsible for the resulting carnage."

 

[F. King Daniel]

As Daniel's reading the leaflet, one of Crazy Cat Lady's kitties (original or future duplicate Daniel does not know) decides to pounce on the scary silver box. As it's paws touch the red and green buttons, the air fills with electricity and the cat freezes in one of those funny I'm-about-to-sneeze expressions. Then the box goes dead and the cracking of the geiger counter stops. The cat looks at Daniel-1.

I understand, thank you.

"Huh?" asks Daniel, looking around for the source of the voice.

It is I, Leo. This machine has endowed me with super intelligence and the power of telepathy. Combined with my ability to control machines, I believe I can upload RJ's virus into the remaining cylinder.

"Uh huh" says Daniel, checking the leaflet for mention of this sort of thing.

Both Crazy Cat Ladies have stopped fighting and are staring agog at Leo. The other Leo seems terribly unimpressed, and is more interested in cleaning himself than his telepathic genius twin.

 

[Salad Shooter]

As I drive twords the bookshop, I feel a vague sense of unease... almost like something has become all-powerful that should not have.

Well I'm sure it's nothing.

My friend wouldn't be dumb enough to do something like elevate a lesser life-form to WAAAAAAAAAY More Powerful Than God status would he?


Naaaaaaaaaaaaah.

 

[F. King Daniel]

"RJ? There's a super-intelligent telepathic cat here who would like your prefix codes and computer virus! Fate of Misc Street is at stake, here!" yells Daniel-1 as the last flying alien cylinder positions itself for an Independence Day-style blast of doom that will surely destroy not only Misc Street, but all of TBBS district as well. Leo sits beneath the cylinder, waiting to telepathically deliver the codes and virus.

The two Crazy Cat Ladies are hugging and weeping with pride at the sight of their heroic Leo, possible savior of humanity. Jenee-1, Daniel-1, Jenee-2 and Soda group hug as the moment of either doom or salvation approaches. Hippy Lady and MLB are wandering around, smashed out of their heads on brownies.

 

[Salad Shooter]

I am at the top of UGO Mountain looking down on TrekBBS Vally.


...he did, he elevated a CAT to WAY MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD status.

Shit.

Well.

Once the cat deals with the aliens, I'll deal with the cat.

After all nothing can stop Fex-Ex-Machnina.


()

 

[RJDiogenes]

RJD-1 and RJD-2 walk up to Leo, RJD-1 holding a portable hard drive and RJD-2 holding an old copy of GURPS Alien Invaders II.

"The prefix codes are here," says RJD-2, holding open the appropriate page.

"The virus is in here," says RJD-1, holding up the portable hard drive. "I hope you can telepathically interact with a USB port."

 

[F. King Daniel]

I can. Thank you.

Leo looks intently at the codes in the book, and then puts one paw on the portable drive. He looks up at the cylinder, just as it's starting it's firing sequence...

...which stops ubruptly when the firing nozzle drops off. Sparks and little bits of machinery start to rain down on Misc Street as loud clanging and hi-pitched panicky alien chatter echoes from the malfunctioning cylinder. As the residents of Misc Street watch on, the cylinder starts to wobble off-axis. The alien pilots attempt a retreat, but they swiftly lose control of the cylinder, which crashes into Nurse Ayel's shack in the forest, exploding into flames.

All is silent. Then...

...everyone cheers! We won! We beat the aliens!

You are all safe now, Leo broadcasts to all in Misc Street. The aliens will not return.

"Celebration party when we get back to the future!" yells Daniel-1, amidst the hugging and cheering.

 

[Jenee]

Do you think when we get back to the future, we will suddenly remember having sex with our future selves?

 

[F. King Daniel]

Do you think when we get back to the future, we will suddenly remember having sex with our future selves?

I'm not sure what'll happen. Since Misc Street won't be destroyed there'll be no reason for us to go back... so none of this will ever happen... but it did... so... ummm...

I'm sure the timestream will sort itself out, somehow. It'd be pretty cool to remember everything from both sides.

 

[Salad Shooter]

*changes uniform again*

Now... to deal with that cat.

*starts truck*

 

[Mary Ann]

Hippy Lady needs another brownie to help her fully understand what the hell just happened. As she munches on the brownie she goes into her Really Happy Herb Garden (no sad faces here!) and grabs a huge bunch of catnip to take to CCL's house. Goodness knows that sweet little puddytat has earned it.

MLB, having consumed a few too many brownies, has failed to notice that the peppers on the pizza he's cooking have caused his eyebrows to catch fire. HP spashes some cold water on his face, but he doesn't seem to notice.

So are we all going back to the future, or what?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

MLB does not mind having no eyebrows. He finds it convenient to look like the Observers anyway.

He is very grateful for the help in putting out the fire on his face. HP shall receive an extra helping of (non incendiary) pizza.

MLB calls shotgun in the front passenger seat of the blue box's cabin, for the trip home...

 

[RJDiogenes]

After joining in the cheering at the utter annihilation of the alien troublemakers, RJD-1 and RJD-2 set about brushing the cat hair off of the portable hard drive and the book.

 

[F. King Daniel]

With Daniel-2 still in intensive care, Daniel-1 get's the Jenees all to himself for a few hours.

But then it's finally time to go back to the future. Everyone who went back in time bids their past selves a tearful goodbye ("What's that, MLB? Oh, you just missed your past self. He told me he had to go shopping and to say 'Hi' on his behalf. You still don't remember going back in time with us? Don't worry about it!") and gets in the blue box. Genius Leo (who means nobody any harm whatsoever, despite the delivery guy's suspicious looks) is coming to the future with us. Regular Leo stays in the past, with past Crazy Cat Lady and her parcels, which should be awaiting present Crazy Cat Lady in the future. I think.

The blue box makes it's weird noise and, after a really weird feeling not unlike eating Hippy Lady's brownies for breakfast while nursing a hangover, everyone's back in the future. Or rather, present.

Misc Street is intact, and everyone has odd double-memories(except MLB, who has a headache)

 

[Jenee]

You should write fiction.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ Good idea. I could stock it at the Bookstore.

* After returning to the future, RJD goes back to his store. Before leaving the past, he made himself a cup of tea and it's now very well steeped.

Then he starts looking around carefully. Whenever there's one of these time-traveling adventures, there's always some ominous "difference" upon returning.... *

 

[F. King Daniel]

You should write fiction.

I'd think this is proof that I shouldn't write fiction.

Daniel decides that the promised victory celebrations can wait, and goes upstairs to catch up on several nights' worth of sleep. Turning back time and helping to avert the aplocalypse is tiring work. As was all the awesome freaky sex.

He's asleep before his head hits the pillow... zzzz.... zzzzz.... zzzzz...

 

[Captain Ice]

*Steps out of the Deli after returning the blue box to it's spot and starts to cross the street to go to the bookstore.*

I need to check with RJD and see what's out of place or has changed do to the time traveling. This part of time traveling really sucks. There's always two or three things that wind up being changed. What the....?

*Ice stops squarely in the middle of the street when he notices the coffee shop sitting in what had been the bookstore's spot across the street from the deli.*

If that's now over there....

*Ice turns on his heel and spots the bookstore sitting in the coffee shop's old spot next to the Deli. He walks into the bookstore*

I wonder if the basements switched as well. That could be problematic...

 

[RJDiogenes]

* Fortified by his cup of tea, RJD realizes that the layout of the Bookstore has changed somewhat-- and so is the view. The store seems to have changed locations with the Deli. *

That means our trip to the past has sent ripples up and down the timestream. It's possible that anything has changed, not just things since the invasion.

* RJD turns on CNN to see if there are any obvious differences. The main story is about a dramatic increase in Vampire attacks since they discovered a method to make themselves immune to sunlight. *

Uh oh.