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Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

Jenee said:
Both Jenees shut everything down, grabs a couple baseball bats and heads downstairs.
Click to expand...

After all that it doesn't work?!? Pretty soon these aliens are gonna stop using katanas and baseball bats and start using death rays on us. Then we will all die.

Humph! Fine. Plan B!

RJ, start spitting your germs into the aliens' mouths! Cough on them! Wipe snot on them!

MLB, grab a powerful torch, stand at the very edge of the aliens' vision, and shine it into their eyes.

Ice, remember that we're here to save Misc street, so please don't burn it down!

Kirsten, my past self needs to be on his feet. Got any PCP?

Hippy Lady, do those cakes come in toffee?

Jenee-1 and Jenee-2 - stay inside! You're pregnant!

Soda, I'm proud of you, you badass little alien killer! Carry on! (*tussles hair*)

Daniel grabs a chainsaw, and heads for the alien who hit him with the bat earlier...
 
There is no more pain. There is no more worry. All is good.

"Thank you, Doctor." Daniel-2 calmly says. "You might like this" he adds, removing from his pocket and handing her one of the aliens' sweet Sulu-style foldaway swords.

On a higher plane of existence, Daniel-2 strides out into the battlefield and immediately takes a full-force baseball bat hit to the head from an alien soldier. He doesn't notice it. Calmly he reaches out and, with his bare hands, crushes the alien's skull. He looks on with mild disinterest as the aliens large black eyes pop out their sockets and gore pours all over. Another alien charges, swinging a katana. Daniel-2 blocks it with his forearm - or more accurately, the bone of his forearm, since the katana went through everything else like hot butter - and after disarming the alien, he disarms the alien again in a much more literal manner.

Daniel-1 is watching on in absolute horror. "On second thoughts, PCP might have been a very bad idea. Very very bad.":eek:
 
While horrified at the antics of Daniel-2, both RJDs figure it could be worse: He could have asked for NyQuil.
 
And noone else ask me for PCP because you won't get it - that includes both Daniel 1 and 2. As for the sword, thanks very much. Kirsten runs off.
 
Hippy Lady refrains from putting a layer of toffee on her Really Happy Brownies because she reckons Daniel 2 doesn't need the additional sugar high. Daniel 1 can have some later, though. It also takes incredible inner strength not to give RJ some echinacea tea for his sniffles, seeing as he appeared to be very effective at using the aliens as snotrags and infecting them with all kinds of cooties.

With neighbours like these, who needs Really Happy Brownies?
 
Daniel-1 is following Daniel-2 through the battlefield, trying to minimize the damage his other self is absorbing while on his path of destruction. He's not having much luck, so he resorts to yelling public service announcements...

"PCP can cause bouts of extreme paranoia! Don't piss Daniel-2 off, he might forget who's side he's on! PCP is a restricted and dangeous substance and should not be abused!" Daniel-1 yells, as the rocket-fuelled Daniel-2 absorbs a spinning karate kick from a ninja alien, before throwing said alien across Misc Street and into a car, which explodes on impact Hollywood-style.

"Who's car was that?"
 
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Mine!:mad::mad:

And everyone, GET THE F*&? DOWN. NOW!

*A second explosion rips through the car and takes out everything within 10 feet of the car, except Daniel-2. Items in the 11 - 30 foot range are now on fire, including two cars. Daniel-2 is still running toward the aliens, except he is on fire.*

Sorry. I had 10 pounds of C-4 in that car, with detonators.

kirsten, can I have 500ml of Cordrazine please?
 
Daniel-1, MLB, Hippy Lady, Soda, one of the Crazy Cat Ladies, Jenee-1 and Jenee-2 charge after Daniel-2 with buckets of water. Luckily, they manage to put him out quite quickly. He, of course, is still carrying on like a maniac, ripping aliens limb from limb and is oblivious to any and all distractions and injuries.

Daniel-2 is gonna be sore as hell once the PCP wears off.

...which should be right about... now.

Daniel-2 collaspes in a heap, and is carried inside Kirsten's clinic by Daniel-1 and Jenee-2. He's lost a lot of blood, has a serious gash on his forearm, several deep stab wounds on his torso, shoulders and thighs, a severe concussion, several broken ribs, second-degree burns to his neck and arms, a broken kneecap, a broken jaw and a detached retina. And he still looks good:cool:.

On the plus side, there's only one alien left on the ground and he's a shrinking dot on the horizon. It's just the flying cylinders and the tentacle monster, now!
 
A Fex De delivery truck pulls out. The driver leans out, and shakes his head.

No matter what, the packages MUST be delivered on time...

*pulls lever, automatic cannons deploy from roof*
...and that tentacle monster is IN MY WAY. :mad:
 
Oh, oh, oh,oh, maybe that guy is delivering a package to me. Maybe it is the super deluxe cat tree I ordered. Or maybe the automatic cat deflea-er. Or maybe the Crazy Cat Lady action figure.

The Crazy Cat Lady leaves the battle to go and wait on her veranda.

"Nothing is more important than my parcels".
 
...the windshield wipers fling off the worst of the unholy green glop. I can see well enough to find the street sign. I can ignore the smell for now... HQ will issue me one of those little green hanging-trees for my mirror. Consult my GPS -- almost there.

Here we are... Knowing this neighborhood all too well I grab my Photonic Discombobulateor Mk VII, my Fex De clipboard and the package...

I walk to the door.

*doorbell*

"Package for a Ms. Crazy Cat Lady? Sign here ma'am."
 
The Crazy Cat Lady signs for the parcel and then carries the very heavy parcel into her lounge room. It is the super deluxe cat tree that she has to put together immediately because nothing is more important than her pussies' happiness.

"The battle will have to go on without me".
 
Exhausted from a day of alien-smiting, MLB kindly asks Hippy Lady if he may have some of her happy brownies. The rest of the neighborhood wonders why he had to get down on one knee to ask that question...
 
Miss Chicken said:
The Crazy Cat Lady signs for the parcel and then carries the very heavy parcel into her lounge room. It is the super deluxe cat tree that she has to put together immediately because nothing is more important than her pussies' happiness.

"The battle will have to go on without me".
Click to expand...

"What are you doing in my house, opening my parcel!" yells Past Crazy Cat Lady. "My timeframe, my parcel - and those are for my kitties!!"
 
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