Lines from fiction you yearn to say in earnest.

[K'Ehleyr]

From The Three Musketeers (1993 with Kiefer, Charlie and the wonderful Oliver Platt)

Porthos (Oliver) ~ poking his head up through the canopy of the stolen Cardinals coach after having a good rummage around and brandishing a bottle... "Champagne?"
Athos ~ "We're in the middle of a chase Porthos"
Porthos ~ "You're right... something red".

Never been in a coach chase as to date, but I know what to say when I am ~ assuming, obviously I have the correct bottles.


One I have used from the film.

Porthos, in a bar with the other guys ~ "A lively tune... I am inspired to dance" (Imperative to follow this with totally over the top flailing around ~ guaranteed if the line doesn't get a laugh the dancing will )

I love that film!

Oh and obviously "... and don't call me Shirley"

 

[TheSeeker]

From The Three Musketeers (1993 with Kiefer, Charlie and the wonderful Oliver Platt)

Porthos (Oliver) ~ poking his head up through the canopy of the stolen Cardinals coach after having a good rummage around and brandishing a bottle... "Champagne?"
Athos ~ "We're in the middle of a chase Porthos"
Porthos ~ "You're right... something red".

I remember that scene. It made me laugh my ass off when I first saw it.

 

[Gaith]

I have used "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" on occasion. While fixing them with a steely, earnest glare.

Okay, I had to look that one up and didn't even much like the movie, but that's still pretty funny.

One of these days, when someone phones me by mistake and asks to speak to some woman I've never heard of, I'll get up the nerve to use this line from Ruthless People:

"Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here, who's this? Well, uh, Debbie can't talk right now, my dick's in her mouth."

[spits milk all over the place, or would do if I were drinking any.] Epic!


Here's one I've had the considerable pleasure of actually using, from Boston Legal: In response to the question "do you have a thing for [adjective] women?" (In the show, it was "little women", for me, it was "older women"):

Answer: "I have a thing for women."


Some I'd like to use...

"We are men of action. Lies do not become us."

"As you wish."

"You're enough to make a good dog break his leash."

"What, you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?"

 

[K'Ehleyr]

From The Three Musketeers (1993 with Kiefer, Charlie and the wonderful Oliver Platt)

Porthos (Oliver) ~ poking his head up through the canopy of the stolen Cardinals coach after having a good rummage around and brandishing a bottle... "Champagne?"
Athos ~ "We're in the middle of a chase Porthos"
Porthos ~ "You're right... something red".

I remember that scene. It made me laugh my ass off when I first saw it.

Yeah! Kindred spirit

The film was on tele the other day I was alternately sobbing and laughing. Son, disturbed by the noise, came into room and asked if I was ok?
"I just need more tissues *howl, sob* Sabine's just thrown herself off the cliff".
He returned with tissues and said "You are ok though?"
"I'm fine ~ nothing cheers me up like a truly good howl, now bugger off because they're just about the rescue the King!"

And we wonder why men don't understand us?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

..."As you wish."
...

From The Princess Bride? ~ I used that last night. I find it a most excellent way to end an arguement.

n.b. Must be accompanied with a raised eyebrow

 

[Gaith]

..."As you wish."
...

From The Princess Bride? ~ I used that last night. I find it a most excellent way to end an arguement.

n.b. Must be accompanied with a raised eyebrow

^Not at all - played deadly serious and with perfectly dignified assent, I imagine it could be quite seductive.

 

[Jenee]

I once said to a UPS pick up guy ... "

…modern bombs don't tick. But, when a package vibrates, then you gotta call the police. Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo."

it came up in conversation. He didn't get it. Then my boss was left with trying to explain my warped sense of humor.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

..."As you wish."
...

From The Princess Bride? ~ I used that last night. I find it a most excellent way to end an arguement.

n.b. Must be accompanied with a raised eyebrow

^Not at all - played deadly serious and with perfectly dignified assent, I imagine it could be quite seductive.

Or go totally Mae West ~ "It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men."
With, a totally suductive raised eyebrow ~ or a wink

I once said to a UPS pick up guy ... "

…modern bombs don't tick. But, when a package vibrates, then you gotta call the police. Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [whispering] it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo."

it came up in conversation. He didn't get it. Then my boss was left with trying to explain my warped sense of humor.

First; he works for UPS ~ he's not going to get anything but the parcels and an address to deliver them to.

Second; How did it come up in conversation? I don't usually dally dildos around in my everyday conversation but...

Third; I love the way you left your boss to deal with it

Good call ~ and not to the police

 

[1001001]

[Second; How did it come up in conversation? I don't usually dally dildos around in my everyday conversation but...

But you just did!

 

[captcalhoun]

i have genuinely used the line "your powers are weak, old man."

Guilty

ah, but did you use it after someone made a reference to the Force?

i did.

 

[mimic]

"That's no moon...that's a BUDONG!"

"Who are these guys?"

"But it barely works for socks, why would it work for mental breakdowns?"

 

[scotpens]

Not from fiction per se, but I've always wanted an opportunity to slip a Rod Serling-ism into my speech, like "Case in point," "Witness if you will," "Submitted for your approval," doing my best Serling imitation. I wonder who'd get it and who would think I was just talking funny.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

[Second; How did it come up in conversation? I don't usually dally dildos around in my everyday conversation but...

But you just did!

That is all.

 

[Holdfast]

Imagine how disappointing it would be to use one of these lines with people who don't recognise it.

Nah, it's even BETTER then, because you get away with using the lines in context, correctly, and with positive purpose... without them realising you're quoting movie lines. They keep talking, but inside you're just high-fiving yourself like crazy.

Star Wars is brilliant for that sort of thing. One line from it I've repeatedly used:

"You must do what you think is right, of course", complete with appropriate Alec Guinness impersonation.

I've also done the entire "fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering..." set of lines from Phantom Menace, though spun in out to about a minute or so, making sure the other parties were actually agreeing with me through the sequence of connections.

Felt awesome after pulling that off and actually being thanked for explaining things that way, all without them realising what I was quoting.

Just remember another, not exactly quote, more a verbal mannerism: but the 1st Duke of Wellington was very fond of the phrase "I would like to advert you to..." when telling someone a fact they'd overlooked. I use that occasionally, when I want to be particularly obnoxious.

Chandler from FRIENDS

I used to do SO many Chandler lines. I need to rewatch Friends. Now that a few years have passed, I bet I could insert them into conversations without anyone realising now.

"Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad."

"You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube."

And on a related note: "Oh, and Senator, just one more thing: love your suit!"

"TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW!"

"Put... the bunny... back... in the box. "

Am I getting old or something? I haven’t a clue where any of those lines come from.

They're not particularly recent movies.

The first is from Trading Places, where Dan Akroyd pawns his "Rochefoucald" watch for just $50. Funny line for several reasons, not least of which is the wonderful faux-Euro accent he puts on for "Gstaad".

The second & third are great Hannibal Lecter quotes; the fourth was Patrick Bateman from American Psycho just after he hilariously kills Paul Allen while listening to Huey Lewis. Psychopaths get ALL the best lines.

The fifth is by Nicholas Cage in Con Air and is just so wonderfully bizarre that it's stuck in my mind.

i have genuinely used the line "your powers are weak, old man."

Ah, a fellow SW quoter IRL.

 

[HighteeHeller]

"That's no moon...that's a BUDONG!"

I've used that one before! Every time someone says, look at the moon, i use it. The only ones that get it are my kids.

also,

There..are..four..lights!

Ive used that one a few times.

 

[trekkiedane]

There..are..four..lights!

Ive used that one a few times.

Whenever someone wants you to check if the modem is on? -that's the only times I've had a chance to use that line (had plenty of use of it though )

 

[HighteeHeller]

There..are..four..lights!

Ive used that one a few times.

Whenever someone wants you to check if the modem is on? -that's the only times I've had a chance to use that line (had plenty of use of it though )

For some strange reason ive had plenty of opportunity to use it. Mosty i say it in my head, but i have occasionally said it out loud.

I also say,
Crackers dont matter!

Every single time someone asks me if there are crackers i say that. Every time, and you'd be surprised how often i get asked this. Never a glimmer of recognition.

 

[Amaris]

I've always wanted to say this:

"Four minutes 'til bomb time."

Just, you know, not in a real "I'm setting off a bomb" kind of way.

 

[stj]

Wherever are the Gone With the Wind quotes?

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. (used)
Tomorrow is another day (not just the alternate title but a life motto)

and my personal favorite "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again!" Which I haven't yet found occasion for. But it's waiting.

The funny thing is, I've grown thoroughly ashamed of watching GWTW.

 

[Dac]

A long time ago now, on a hill at college me and my friends were goofing around. My mate Rieko kinda jumped at me, I dodged and he fell and rolled down the hill. He landed face down with his right arm sticking out. I had to scream:

"YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!"

Just 'coz.


Apart from that, I long to say (In Ernest) the following diddys:

"You can call it whatever you like, im not going to let you execute my men." (I have no idea what occasion this would call for, but what the hell)

"Take this object, but bewaaare it carries a terrrrible curse." (May just be worth a day in the retail sector for)

Plus Kirk's Risk speech.