TOS Caption Contest #204: Over The Lips

[Rat Boy]

I think Mr. Kyle/Cowl has had enough for one week, so let's start a new caption contest. First, it's time to take a drive with...

Next time, don't serve fish for dinner.

Spock: Captain, how long until we reach Starbase 47?

Kirk: I can't tell.

Spock: You can tell me, I'm your first officer.

Kirk: No, I mean I'm just not sure.

Spock: Can you not attempt a guess?

Kirk: Well, I think...not for another two hours.

Spock: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Somehow, this coming from someone with the word "Deranged" in their handle seems fitting...

McCoy: "They're his tablets for Extreme Obsessive Compulsion. He lines them up in colour order before taking them".

Kirk: "And Leslie over there?"

McCoy: "His paranoia pills. He watches them very closely before eating them".

Apparently, according to this Photoshop, Starfleet has a very progressive wellness program...

McCoy: "I have to admit, Jim, he's got the hands of a surgeon."

Kirk: "Oh dear God..."


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Congratulations to the winners. This week, McCoy swaps out the crew's allotment of Romulan ale with Windex and Spock really hopes he took his injections beforehand. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Another Romulan ale? You'd think with the level Jim's at the loot drops would get better."

NuKirk (off camera): "Can this wait? You were the one saying I needed to get back to the Enterprise."

Spock: "One damn minute, Jim!"

 

[jep]

Kelly: "OK.... Who the hell decided to let "Walleye" Jackson rig the camera?"

.

 

[jep]

Zarabeth: "Why don't you take a picture, Dr.? It'll last longer."

McCoy: "Well, I would but all I've got is this worthless Polaroid Instamatic."

.

 

[jep]

Zarabeth: "Bifurcated?"


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[Mr. Adventure]

"Doctor, about these breast implants?"
"Yes?"
"Well, um, I just don't think they should be causing crease lines like this."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "No Dr. we can not make it a 3-way."

Zarabeth: "Now lets not be so hasty..

Doctor: "Well that confirms it the Andorian Ambassador has the worst case of blue balls ever"

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Doctor: Not now Nurse chapel!

Chapel: But Doctor! Mr Sulu is on acid!

Sulu: Oh..
my..

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women!"
Chapel: "*sigh* Are you never going to let me live that down?"

McCoy (OS): "Yes, I saw the necktie on the doorknob! But dammit, it's forty below out there!"

 

[jep]

McCoy: "It's dead, Christine."

Chapel: "Oh man, I knew I shouldn't have let Spock get his ponn farr on with me!"

McCoy: "Look on the bright side, Chris... I've got a recipe for rabbit stew that's to die for!!"


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[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "You are definitely going to be late for that important date, my friend."

 

[jep]

McCoy: "You are definitely going to be late for that important date, my friend."

(Snork) Damnit, you made me spit Dr. Pepper all over my keyboard.

 

[jep]

Chapel:

"One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all..."



.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Nurse, once I target the correct limb with this male enhancement supplement I will be rich."

Spock demonstrates the lesser known but just as effective "Vulcan roofie pinch" variant.

 

[milo bloom]

Zarabeth: "Bifurcated?"


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Zarabeth, cont': "Just where do you think you're going to-now wait just a damn minute buster!"

 

[milo bloom]

McCoy: "Finally! I've perfected the blueberry-tini!"

Chapel: "Great, but you were supposed to be working on a cure for the captain's latest STD."

McCoy: "Eh, if he can survive 47 consecutive cases of chlamydia, he can wait a little longer."

 

[Finn]

McCoy: This reminds me of a gumbo my mother loved, using Andorian sausages, Deanna Gumbo, she named it...after herself. She made it in erlenmeyer flasks, you know".

Nurse: "Deanna...what a nice name".

nuUhura: (OS) "You green blooded son of a bitch"

 

[Smellincoffee]

nuUhura: (OS) "You green blooded son of a bitch"

Spock: It would be illogical to hate the playa, Nyota. Indeed, hating the game would be the more advisable alternative.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAPEL: Just how close to those cosmic rays did the shuttle get?

MCCOY: Ha, you should see Jim. "Rock Hard abs" has taken on a whole new meaning

 

[Rat Boy]

Chapel: "This really squares my breasts."