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Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

1000th post - did I make it?

Edited to add - Bugger. Thor Damar bet me to it. The Crazy Cat Lady orders he cats to attack Thor Damar.
 
Ha! Your Cats are no match for my demon hordes!

Did I say demon hordes? No, I meant my fearsome dogs, large unholy dogs.

Can I set you up with a drink Miss Chicken?
 
The Crazy Cat Lady and Miss Chicken (little three legged cat extraordinaire) use the strange blue box - which Miss Chicken strangely knows how to operate - go back in time to get a new kitty.

Meet Smiley

2primeval_epi03_10.jpg


Look at the Unholy Dogs scamper in fear.
 
These are petty unholy dogs, I mean these are real hell hounds. Huge terrible beasts that are unimaginable in vision and...

Oh yeah, my employee is taking them for a walk in their natural {ahem} habitat. Don't know why I brought them up.

I have some mammoth meat for Smiley if he's hungry?

Walks up to smiley and tickles his chin eliciting a happy purr from the mighty feline.

Say, can I adopt this big guy? He is far better than any bouncer I've had to employ...
 
Daniel hops up onto the stage...

A Vicar checks himself into a hotel. Before going up to his room, he asks the receptionist if the porn channel is disabled.
"No, it's just regular porn, ya' sick bastard!" she replies.

*silence*
 
Jenee replays that joke over in her head 3 times before she gets it.

Then she laughs outrageously to make Daniel feel better.
 
ChristmasDaniel said:
Daniel hops up onto the stage...

A Vicar checks himself into a hotel. Before going up to his room, he asks the receptionist if the porn channel is disabled.
"No, it's just regular porn, ya' sick bastard!" she replies.

*silence*
Click to expand...

The bartender starts to laugh uproariously until he notices that no-one is joining in (except for Jenee)...

"All drinks half price for the next hour!"

Pats Smiley on the head and adjusts his collar in embarrassment.
 
Overcome by the excitement of the day, Daniel leaves Jenee in charge for the rest of the evening and heads upstairs for some much-needed sleep. He's out like a light the minute his head hits the pillow.

Everything'll be fine with Jenee in charge. She won't tell anyone that there's a hidden camera taping everyone's performances.
 
*Ice sidles on into the coffee shop looking for RJ and bringing a few more trays of food. He hands the trays to Jenee, who seems to be suffering from some sort of dementia. She's laughing hysterically, but she is the only person in the room who is even chuckling. Ice doesn't see any sign of RJ, and is disappointed because he wanted to tell RJ that he had managed to pick the lock. Ice decides to join in on the Karaoke and jumps up on stage, starting to sing.*

Well you've all heard the story
About Rudolph and his nose
Well I'll tell you a Christmas Tale
That never has been told
Well you may think you've heard it all
But you ain't heard nothin' yet
About that crazy Christmas
That the North Pole can't forget

Rudolph was under the weather
And had to call in sick
So he got on the horn
To his cousin Leroy
Who lived out in the sticks
He said Santa's really counting on me
And I hate to pass the buck
Leroy said Hey I'm on my way
And he jumped in his pick-up truck
When Leroy got to the North Pole
All the reindeer snickered and laughed
They never seen a deer in overalls
And a John Deer trucker hat
Well Santa stepped in
And said just calm down
Cuz we all got a job to do
Like it or not Leroy's in charge
And he's gonna be leading you
And he was

(chours)
Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
Hooked to the front of the sleigh
Delivering toys to all the good ol' boys
And girls along the way
He's just a down home party animal
Two Steppin all across the sky
He mixes jingle bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night

Before that night was over
Leroy had changed their tune
He had them scootin a hoof
On every single roof
By the light of a neon moon
Santa wrapped his bag with the dixie flag
He was having the time of his life
You could here him call
Merry Chistmas Ya'll
And to all of ya'll a goodnight
And he was

Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
Hooked to the front of the sleigh
Delivering toys to all the good ol' boys
And girls along the way
He's just a down home party animal
Two Steppin all across the sky
He mixes jingle bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night

He mixes Jingle Bells with the rebel yell
And made history that night

 
* RJ wakes up on the floor behind the stage, apparently having been struck squarely in the forehead with a tomato. Nobody appreciates the classics anymore. *

I wonder where the elves went.....
 
I'll help clean up the coffee shop, as part of my continuing performance as a "responsible member of society". I got quite a hat-full of coins last night, so I'm appreciative. Then I suppose I'd better help Thor Damar clear up the remaining pub supplies.

I don't know where the elves went. I think they might have stolen the blue police box and gone off somewhen. Miss Chicken must have left it unlocked after she picked up Smiley.
 
"It is Miss Chicken's birthday today" the Crazy Cat Lady tells everyone. She is 12 years old. In cat years that is 72 (at least the way the CCL calculates it is).
 
While clearing up the coffee shop with Nasat, Daniel finds time to bake a catnip cake for Miss Chicken's birthday. As he heads over to drop it off, he notices Captain Robau leaving Crazy Cat Lady's place. Upon seeing that Daniel sees him leaving CCL's place, Robau starts, then quickly mumbles something into his communicator and vanishes in a swirl of light.
 
Happy birthday, Miss Chicken! Would you like a festive lentil loaf? OUCH! Ok, maybe not. Ah, how about I read you The Cat in the G-String? If you give me a moment, I'll get Jenee, as she said she'd like to read it, too. Ah, Smiley, would you like to listen to the story? It's all about love and friendship and...*flips through book*...erm, special love and friendship. Very in keeping with the theme of my children's anatomically correct snowpeople, in fact. Right, let's all get comfy, and we'll begin when everyone's present and accounted for. No, Smiley, you may not eat the cat. Eating meat is bad for your karma. OUCH! Hmm, I think Crazy Cat Lady needs to teach you some manners, young man.
 
After helping clean the coffee shop ( with 3 of us, it went pretty fast ) Jenee sends a note back to Hippie Lady graciously accepting her offer to listen to The Cat in the G-String and offering to bring a nice carafe of tea.

While listening to Hippie Lady read the story aloud may not be exactly how she planned to first read the book, it will give her some ideas about how to re-enact it for Daniel - which was her original goal.

She drops a warm wash cloth over RJ's head as navigates her way through the dismantling of the stage on her way out the door.
 
Deranged Nasat said:
I don't know where the elves went. I think they might have stolen the blue police box and gone off somewhen. Miss Chicken must have left it unlocked after she picked up Smiley.
Click to expand...
Well, that possibility fills my heart with cold black dread.

Miss Chicken said:
"It is Miss Chicken's birthday today" the Crazy Cat Lady tells everyone. She is 12 years old. In cat years that is 72 (at least the way the CCL calculates it is).
Click to expand...
BirthdayCake.gif


Midwinter Goddess said:
She drops a warm wash cloth over RJ's head as navigates her way through the dismantling of the stage on her way out the door.
Click to expand...
Mpf. Fank oo.
 
Deranged Nasat said:
I don't know where the elves went. I think they might have stolen the blue police box and gone off somewhen. Miss Chicken must have left it unlocked after she picked up Smiley.
Click to expand...

No, that was me. Remember? I suspected the blue box of being a bomb and sent it off to the FBI to have them look at it. In fact I just got the results back, all they found inside it was cat food.
 
No, Smiley, you may not eat the cat. Eating meat is bad for your karma. OUCH! Hmm, I think Crazy Cat Lady needs to teach you some manners, young man.
Click to expand...
Smiley would never eat another cat - he is a carnivore but not a cannibal. Besides Miss Chicken is renowned for bossing other cats around even when they are bigger than her. Smiley is no exception, he dutifully follows Miss Chicken.

Smiley might have eaten the elves though they wouldn't be much more than a snack to him.
 
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