Kirk: "Captain's log?" I've got your "captain's log" right here, pal.
Cadet: Oh God! What's that smell?!
Star Trek XI Caption Contest #22: Captain's Log
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Kirk: "Captain's log?" I've got your "captain's log" right here, pal.
Cadet: Oh God! What's that smell?!
[a perpetual loop of "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" playing]
Pike: Alright! I give up! I'll tell you what ever you want to know! Just quit playing that damn song!
Kirk: I was only wondering about what the look on Spock's face would
Pike: For fuck's sake Kirk, stop looking at those things and untie me!
be like if I dropped one these crawly guys into his shorts.
Pike: (pause) Kirk, that's not bad - Spock is kind of a tight-ass, isn't he?
Put one of 'em in a jar... to go! And then get me outta this.
Robau: That ship.... looks like a hamburger.
Chris: Yooo-hoooo! Some more lens flare here please. I'm the star here!
Pike: Shut up about your misadventures in space in trying to save me already and GET ME THE HECK OUT OF HERE.
Pike: Go ahead and torture me! Twist my nipples! Use that branding iron and ball gag on me! I can take whatever you throw at me, and I'll never talk! Look, I'll even strap myself down and put Ceti eels in my mouth! Bring it!
Kirk: Uh, dude, all I want is a refund for watching that shitty movie you made.
Star Trek : Again With The Klingons
The Infamous Rabau Death Glare : We have to return that DVD before tonight and we get charged extra for it.
Chris Pine : And... Except.... For.... One.... Television.... Network.... We've.... Found.... Intelligence.... Everywhere....
Pike : Dear god, it's worse then I thought....
Kirk : What is ?
Pike : These Are The Voyages, they've been forcing me to watch it over and over again to get me to crack....
Kirk : Dear God Man, how did you survive ?
Pike : I just de-canonized it, that's all...
The Infamous Rabau Death Glare : We have to return that DVD before tonight and we get charged extra for it.
Chris Pine : And... Except.... For.... One.... Television.... Network.... We've.... Found.... Intelligence.... Everywhere....
Pike : Dear god, it's worse then I thought....
Kirk : What is ?
Pike : These Are The Voyages, they've been forcing me to watch it over and over again to get me to crack....
Kirk : Dear God Man, how did you survive ?
Pike : I just de-canonized it, that's all...
Robau: "Oh no, I did it again.
Crewperson (OS): "What did you do?"
Robau: "I grabbed the can of spray starch instead of the deodorant."
Kirk: "Belay that order."
Kirk (to self): "The person who came up with that phrase is a genius. It lets me bark orders and sound important whenever the mood strikes. And then I can say 'Belay that order' and sound important again. This is the life."
Since I have your attention, I'd like to make an announcement...
A year and about twenty-five drafts later, no less. Anyway, back to the contest...
Robau: "What would I do?"
Kirk: "Alert medical!"
Uhura: "You honestly think you can save the Kobayashi Maru?"
Kirk: "No, I chipped a tooth on that apple!"
Pike: "God, it was horrible."
Kirk: "They used a Centaurian slug on you?"
Pike: "Worse. They seasoned it with tarragon!"
A year and about twenty-five drafts later, no less. Anyway, back to the contest...
Robau: "What would I do?"
Kirk: "Alert medical!"
Uhura: "You honestly think you can save the Kobayashi Maru?"
Kirk: "No, I chipped a tooth on that apple!"
Pike: "God, it was horrible."
Kirk: "They used a Centaurian slug on you?"
Pike: "Worse. They seasoned it with tarragon!"
PIKE: They weren't kidding when they called this a "no-frills space cruise."
ROBAU: Never give up...
NEVER SURRENDER!!!
KIRK: Alert medical.
And tell that lazy prick Commander Rogerson to get me a mocha latte or something.
