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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the works

Temis the Vorta

Temis the Vorta

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Good gravy, this sounds like the weirdest movie ever. :rommie: But I'll be the first in line because this is my kind of weird.

It's a 3D re-imagining of Lincoln's life that depicts the 16th president as an axe-throwing, highly accomplished killer of vampires, an obsession of his since those bloodsuckers supposedly took the life of his mother. Taking revenge, Lincoln wreaks havoc on the vampires and their slave-owning protectors. Only in Hollywood would such wild fantasy with the reputation of one of America's greatest Presidents be in such demand. Fox wanted the project so badly that when the filmmakers came onto the lot, the studio had bloody axes and bloody footprints strewn about, and arranged for a bugle player in a Confederate uniform playing "Taps" to accompany them to the meeting with studio executives.
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Who in the world can they get to play Abe? Gotta be about 6'4", skinny and not Hollywood-handsome.

Isn't there another story that has Lincoln teaming up with Queen Victoria to hunt vampires?
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

^ Yes. I'm currently reading the book, the author is currently in the middle of adapting his book into script form.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

After Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, it's really hard to be surprised by such things ...
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Interesting. I was kind of hoping Burton's next film would be the "haunting adaptation" of Goodnight, Moon starring Johnny Depp. ;)
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Frankenvorta said:
Who in the world can they get to play Abe? Gotta be about 6'4", skinny and not Hollywood-handsome.
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The actor doesn't have to be 6'4". Just surround him with Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino, Sylvester Stallone, Jamie Bamber, James Callis, Michael J. Fox and Emilio Estevez. :)
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Maybe Tim Robbins...although,Lincoln was a Republican..:devil:
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I still think this project sounds *too* deliberate and calculated.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

So in other words, the only development since our last discussion on this matter (active in July) is that the project got a studio. And this earth-shattering news requires an entirely new thread, does it? :rolleyes: ;)

This particular project makes me sick. You want to take a nice hot dump on Jane Austen's books, I think that's hopelessly juvenile, but whatever. But to turn a real-life manic-depressive statesman who felt immense pain over the war he thought he had no choice but to prosecute - a war that led to a bullet in his brain, remember - into a gleeful butcher of men... that's worse than juvenile, it's an insult to the Lincoln family's memory, not to mention our national memory. Want to write about a Confederate vampire-hunting woodsman? Fine. Make up your own fucking character, or at the very least have the decency to make a surrogate Lincoln, no matter how thinly veiled.

If this project actually gets made, may it tank harder than Jonah Hex and blight the movie-making careers of those involved. May the director be reduced to a gaffer and the suits reduced to fetching new suits' coffee.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Hey if you don't like it, nobody's forcing you to post here. Someone got a gun to your head? :rommie:

Lincoln would probably find this movie amusing. Or confusing. Probably both.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

However could the supposed evil of vampires ever compare to the evil of the slaveholders? But, if your hero isn't fighting the villains, he's not a hero. If you've got no hero and failed villains, you don't even have melodrama. All that's left is camp.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

They should make it 87 minutes long.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I'd do it as a History Channel-style docu-drama. Show scenes of Lincoln killing vampires, but also have experts discussing it.

I've started on the book, I'm enjoying it so far.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Personally I think Lincoln should avoid theaters...
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I wonder if Rex Hamilton is still alive.
RexHamiltonAsAbrahamLincoln.jpg
RexHamiltonAsAbrahamLincoln2.jpg
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Frankenvorta said:
Lincoln would probably find this movie amusing. Or confusing. Probably both.
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I very much doubt it. I think he would have been saddened by it.


stj said:
However could the supposed evil of vampires ever compare to the evil of the slaveholders?
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Nice try, but that's changing the subject. Thing is, while Lincoln hated slavery, he had no bloodlust whatsoever for slaveholders themselves:
Abraham Lincoln said:
If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union.
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It's not the metaphorical condemnation of slavery that I have a problem with. It's turning Lincoln, even an alternate-universe fantasy version thereof, into a blood-soaked killer. As I said, if the creators had any decency they'd make a surrogate character. Failing that, I'm going to call them out on their sleaze.
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

Gaith said:
This particular project does not conform to my own personal standards of decency and respect as I have no sense of humor. Therefore, this film (which is obviously done for fun) is automatically a bad idea since my views are the only ones that matter objectively.

Also, I can commune with the dead and know for a fact that Mr. Lincoln would be shocked and appalled by this instead of (rightfully) laughing. Why, its worse than the time he was forced to fight Gengis Khan with Captain Kirk!
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Simplied version. No need to thank me. :rolleyes:
 
Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter produced by Tim Burton in the work

I suggest you read the book Gaith before making blanket judgments about the project like you seem to have. Lincoln was President of the United States during the Civil War...he had blood on his hands. You are painting him out to be some kind of patron saint. The author of the book is in the process of adapting it into script form right now.
 
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