Children

[TerokNor]

Who here wants children? (Or was already successful.)
And who does not want children? Why?

How do you bring career and other wishes together with getting children before you are too old?
Or how did you do that, should you have already done it?

And if you do not have the partner you can have children with by the time the "last chance" sort of has arrived...would you take a different way, without a partner for the sake of having children or go without them?

Do you think you´d feel regret, when being old and never had children ...?


TerokNor

 

[Surfin' Santa]

My brother has two kids, so I have a nephew and niece to carry on the family name. As for me, I've never had children and never will. I like a quiet life and children make a lot of noise. Plus, I'm barely responsible enough to take care of a cat.

Besides, I'm physically repulsed by babies. I would literally rather hold a load of shit in my arms than a human infant. Of course, that's what you'll get if you hold a baby long enough anyway.

Does that answer your question?

 

[Jan]

Never had, never wanted children. I don't have anything against them, it's just not anything I was interested in for myself.

Jan

 

[RegFan]

I'm 15 and I don't plan on ever having children. There is a chance that I'll change my mind some day, but I think that's unlikely to happen. Children are immature, childish, loud and dumb. Having children would mean more responsibility and stress and less free time. I also find the idea of pregnancy and giving birth disgusting. Children are cute, but I don't want to spend a lot of time with them, much less raise them.

 

[Nachtkommen]

As for me, I've never had children and never will. I like a quiet life and children make a lot of noise. Plus, I'm barely responsible enough to take care of a cat.

Besides, I'm physically repulsed by babies. I would literally rather hold a load of shit in my arms than a human infant.

Ditto.

Just say no to children.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I have three adult sons.

I hope that eventually I will have at least one grandchild but I am not holding my breath. None of my sons seem to want children.

I had my first child at 19 and my last at 24. Back then it was the norm (at least here) for mothers to stay home while the kids were young. As two of my sons had disabilities I wasn't able to work until the most disabled was about 16.

 

[Mary Ann]

I have three children aged 13, 12 and 10, and was 28 when I had my oldest. I had finished my first university degree when my oldest was born but hadn't started a career yet, so I'm doing that now. My youngest child has special needs which has meant a lifeplan adjustment, but that's life for you, with or without children.

When I was 20 I wasn't at all interested in having kids but I changed my mind and have no regrets. I work with children as well, and prefer working with children to working with adults. So many adults I have worked with are no more mature than children, and children at least have an excuse for their immaturity. Or perhaps I'm just a cynical old hag!

 

[Finngle Bells]

We are hoping for a Finn Jr. and a Little Miss Finn in the next few years.

 

[Mr Light]

I'm 29 and still feel no need to have children. To me they are a crushing obligation that will completely destroy your life for the next 19 years. They will take away all your freedom and personality and interests and free-time. I know this because I've watched what happened to my sister who now has three small boys. Her life as it was ended and the motherhood began. Hell I barely get to just visit and talk with her because any visit is just me having to play with the boys

I honestly do not understand why people feel the compulsion to have children.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

I don't have any and don't plan any. I don't like them and now, working with toddlers, I know for sure that I don't want any 24 hours a day, every day. It's just not for me to be a mum.

Will I regret my decision when I'm old? How could I know? I don't even know if I'm going to be old, maybe a drunk driver is going to kill me next week. I don't worry about future problems I might never have.

 

[Kestra]

I want children. When I was younger I didn't think I would, but some sort of biological switch flipped in me a few years ago and my body regularly screams "BABIES!" at me now. I know that doesn't happen to everyone though and children really do change your life forever.

I'm nervous because my husband's the earner in our family, I want a doctorate, and I have no idea how we would be as parents. Awkward, I'd think. But I have no shortage of love and I'm ready to make sacrifices.

I can't even begin to imagine what nerdy terrors we might unleash on the world if we ever have children.

 

[Shaytan]

I don't want kids until the state lets me name one Lucifer.

 

[farmkid]

I have 5 children, ages 4-13, and I'm glad I do. My wife and I would like to have another one, but we're not sure if we can. If we can't, we might adopt another. I'm glad I have them in my life. Sure, they are a great responsibility and all that, but they are more than worth it.

I went to a friend's house yesterday to borrow a trailer. This is a couple who has been married about as long as my wife and I have, but they didn't have children until much later. They wanted to, but they weren't able, and eventually they adopted two children. I couldn't help comparing what they have compared to what we have. I won't go into details, but let's just say they're much better off financially than I am. But you know what, I'm fine with that. If you gave this couple the opportunity to trade all their stuff for children, I have no doubt they would do it in a heartbeat. I told my kids later that day what my wife and I gave up for them, to point out how important they are to me. Children require selfless sacrifice, but they're worth it. Anyone who's not capable of the sacrifice, however, has no business having children.

 

[Holdfast]

I'm in my 30s and have no intention of having children. I never say never to anything, but really, so much would have to change in my mindset to ever want them that I cannot believe it ever will. They are a time, energy and money sink and I don't feel the need to give anyone, child or not, that much of me.

Plenty of others I know IRL find the trade-off worthwhile, so I'm happy for them. Someone has to enjoy breeding and parenthood, for the survival of the species! I just don't see the equation ever working for me. I see kids in the same way I see pets. Lovely to play with for a half-hour or so occasionally, and then give back to their owner, but to have them underfoot all the time would be tiresome.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Oh, yes, I want children . In fact, it's my highest ambition to be a parent. If you'll forgive how abstract and poetic this sounds, to care for a young soul, helping nuture it and guide it, is the highest honour I can think of. You're directly responsible for the continuation and further development of your species, culture, etc...and for helping another being develop a sense of themselves. You're creating and guiding souls (if you'll excuse the term - it isn't meant to reflect any religious tradition, it's just the closest word I can think of). Parenting is a role I view with great reverence (and I do think "reverence" is the right word). To me, the bond between a truly loving parent and a child is sacred. I say "truly loving", by which I mean more than the instinctive "care for offspring" impulse, but an intellectual and spiritual appreciation of a child and your role as its parent. I of course have no objection to anyone who doesn't want children, but it truly saddens me how many people I see who do have children yet don't appreciate it. They treat it like a job or a task, when it has to be a part of your identity. Simply feeding and clothing children isn't enough.

Plus I have a nurturing instinct. Whenever I see a baby, part of me starts blaring - LOOK! A BABY!! I love babies, and children of all ages (despite many parent's best efforts to ruin a lot of children by raising them poorly). So, yes, I want to be a parent. I have my concerns, of course (some personal, others situational/financial, etc, etc) but I say that's pretty much necessary for someone who intends to take it seriously.

 

[Trippy]

I had no particular desire for children or marriage, having been given such a poor example from my own family dynamic. However, accidents happen and mine happened at 29, so I figured it was meant to be, and now have an almost teenaged son to prove that fate is a fickle bitch.

 

[Captain Shaw]

I do not want children , I could not cope with all the noise and mess they make.

 

[TerokNor]

Wow... I am astonished here are so many who don´t want children.
Well, but I see your points. However I am more in agreement with Deranged Nasat. I certainly would regret it not having children. It would take away one meaning of life (for me) from me.
But I slowly doubt I will find in time the partner to have them with! Now I got to know a nice person, where I though...oh maybe one to get to know better... and what do I have to find out...NO CHILDREN WISH at all on that site, which makes that one "useless" as a partner for me, no matter how nice and cute and whatever.

TerokNor

 

[Australis]

I have kids. Never actually wanted themn, but was persuaded to that point of view.

Now they're 23 and 20. I love them dearly, and all in all they're pretty good... but I'm grey for a reason. Just tonight the police phoned at around midnight. The kids were in Sydney, and one of their idiot passengers tossed a can out the window and hit another car. While they aren't actually in trouble, I don't need this crap.

All in all, it could be worse. I'll add more to this tomorrow (when less tired).

 

[Wynterhawk]

No, no and no. I can't fathom the thought of something like a fetus growing inside me, then having to expel it in a glut of pain and blood. Not to mention the life investment during the next 18 (and quite possibly more) years. I just don't see the appeal. But what I dislike more are the overly confident comments I get from people who love to tell me that I'll change my mind, or that I'll end up with 5 kids. Why is it so hard for some people to accept that children aren't for everyone?