Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau's Mentos commercial will never air because it's simply Robau sitting in a chair with a glass of scotch, glaring at the camera and saying: "What? I don't need any fucking mints."
Robau breathed on Arnold Schwarzenegger when the man was young. That gave him the stamina to become a body-builder.
Sharks have a whole YEAR dedicated to Captain Robau.
But spiders rarely bite Robau. He's THAT venomous.
Robau violated canon and continuity so hard that they spent the rest of their lives crying, depressed, feeling like they were dirty and impure and that no one would ever want them ,cutting themselves, and considering suicide every single day.
When canon is inconsistent, it's violating Robau.
I am not exactly sure what Robau is doing right now, but I bet it can be best summed up as "winning at life."
Ever wondered about Robau's family?
Well, they live in other dimensions, there's no way of knowing how badass they are, Robau doesn't speak about them, but rumour has it that his father is even more badass, and his children are all equally badass, but these are just rumours
Well, they live in other dimensions, there's no way of knowing how badass they are, Robau doesn't speak about them, but rumour has it that his father is even more badass, and his children are all equally badass, but these are just rumours
Although it is rumoured he got Winona Kirk pregnant just by glancing at her.
ROBAU IS KIRK'S FATHER!!!! Know the truth, people.
^Actually, it was a hypnotic look to the effect of "Your husband will come home utterly exhaused. Tend to his needs...."
So...while George technically was Jim's father...it was Robau who was responsable for the legend's existence.
Frankly, that's even more awesome than a simple case of promiscuity. Repent, infidel.
So...while George technically was Jim's father...it was Robau who was responsable for the legend's existence.
Frankly, that's even more awesome than a simple case of promiscuity. Repent, infidel.
^Grant me absolution, Oh mighty Robau, for I have sinned against thee. The subtlety of your power is too much for my simplistic mind to comprehend. Hail Robau!
That would explain Kirk's extreme badassery.
When Captain Robau learned that Section 31 had been spying on him he kicked their asses so hard that they became Section 15.5
Robau really created Star Trek. He let Roddenberry take the credit cause Robau is the universe's most wonderful man..
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