Should I join a dating service?

[Mr Awe]

^^ I think next time just ask the girl if she'd like to go out and, if she's interested, get her number. Much better than waiting around I'd think and it doesn't place it on her.

And, I agree with the sentiment to start asking other girls. It's too early in the game to be stuck on one. Yeah, I know you think she's special (and I'm sure she is) but if she doesn't feel the same way (not saying she doesn't but we just don't know right now), well no point waiting for her.

Here's to hoping the girl in question (what's her first name BTW?) calls you and/or you see her at the store soon!

Mr Awe

 

[TrickyDickie]

I had never wanted to join any dating sites because of all the horror stories that I heard from different people and witnessed on my own. However, in 2004, for some reason I decided to try a dating site online just once to see what would happen. It turned out that I met my future spouse there. We were married in 2005 and have been happily together (even though things are a bit rough right now) ever since. Just be cautious and I think you'd be just fine doing that. I wish you luck!

 

[Emher]

^^ I think next time just ask the girl if she'd like to go out and, if she's interested, get her number. Much better than waiting around I'd think and it doesn't place it on her.

And, I agree with the sentiment to start asking other girls. It's too early in the game to be stuck on one. Yeah, I know you think she's special (and I'm sure she is) but if she doesn't feel the same way (not saying she doesn't but we just don't know right now), well no point waiting for her.

Here's to hoping the girl in question (what's her first name BTW?) calls you and/or you see her at the store soon!

Mr Awe

Yeah I could try that if I'm feeling that the energy is right.

And yeah I'd love just to know if she is intrested at this point, and why I'm a bit reluctant to just move on is because I think she might be. If it turns out she it isn't, I'll move on.

I hope so too. And she's called Mia

 

[AstroSmurf]

I hate to say this but... it gets easier over time. You sort of build up some emotional callouses that protect you from the "let down". This one will sting for a while but it will heal faster than you think.

But trust me when I say something good will come out of the experience. You made a HUGE step just opening up like you did to her. That is awesome thing and you should be very proud. And, based on this first step, you will find it will be easier the next time.

But I still think we may be getting ahead of ourselves. She may still call. She may even approach you at the market. Don't write her off just yet.

 

[Emher]

You don't need to tell me, the whole deal with my ex was the ultimate letdown

And yeah I'm not writing her off yet. Just that I'm now not at home for a few days and that and that lessens the time I have to be able to see her. Plus I'm feeling really crappy right now for some reason. If I'd been able to see her earlier today or if she'd call it would pick my mood up right away. Jus when I thought I saw her today I instantly got all excited. Which is a bit insane I guess. I dunno. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep right now.

 

[Kestra]

^^ I think next time just ask the girl if she'd like to go out and, if she's interested, get her number. Much better than waiting around I'd think and it doesn't place it on her.

And, I agree with the sentiment to start asking other girls. It's too early in the game to be stuck on one. Yeah, I know you think she's special (and I'm sure she is) but if she doesn't feel the same way (not saying she doesn't but we just don't know right now), well no point waiting for her.

Here's to hoping the girl in question (what's her first name BTW?) calls you and/or you see her at the store soon!

Mr Awe

Yeah I could try that if I'm feeling that the energy is right.

And yeah I'd love just to know if she is intrested at this point, and why I'm a bit reluctant to just move on is because I think she might be. If it turns out she it isn't, I'll move on.

I hope so too. And she's called Mia

Just wanted to point out that seeking out other girls doesn't mean you're totally shutting the door here. Dating other women isn't getting married, it's just dating! If she did contact you or you wanted to pursue the relationship, it would still be an option.

 

[Marten]

Perhaps she only needs some time. Calling people you hardly know is not that easy.

 

[Emher]

^Could be. That's why me not being able to see her for a bit might be good, giving her some time to think.

Just wanted to point out that seeking out other girls doesn't mean you're totally shutting the door here. Dating other women isn't getting married, it's just dating! If she did contact you or you wanted to pursue the relationship, it would still be an option.

I know, I know! I'm the guy who used to be like the bigtime romantic with illussions of a "one true love", and even though I've shaken that off, I still have a hard time focusing my romantical interest on several girls/women at a time. It's just how I'm wired.

Then again it isn't like that with sexual interest so I do have it in me

 

[doubleohfive]

Plus I'm feeling really crappy right now for some reason. If I'd been able to see her earlier today or if she'd call it would pick my mood up right away. Jus when I thought I saw her today I instantly got all excited. Which is a bit insane I guess. I dunno. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep right now.

See, this is your problem, right here. You're letting your happiness rest in the control of others. And it's not even control -- it's the happenstance that you might see her which will dictate whether or not you're happy? Come on dude, you're better than that.

I agree with Kestra and the others who say it's perfectly fine to pursue other women. You're not in a relationship with this Mia girl yet, and to be perfectly blunt there's not a lot to hold on to with her at this point. Why waste your time pining away on such a big "if" when you could be building some rapport with another (or several other) ladies?

Don't be yet another example of the typical TrekBBS male poster who drops everything for the first girl who pays any kind of attention to him. Explore your options. See who else is out there.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Don't be yet another example of the typical TrekBBS male poster who drops everything for the first girl who pays any kind of attention to him.

While that definitely does not work out for everyone, sometimes it does, even to a level beyond what you could have imagined.

 

[sidious618]

Don't be yet another example of the typical TrekBBS male poster who drops everything for the first girl who pays any kind of attention to him.

Talk about a hurtful truth.

 

[Emher]

Plus I'm feeling really crappy right now for some reason. If I'd been able to see her earlier today or if she'd call it would pick my mood up right away. Jus when I thought I saw her today I instantly got all excited. Which is a bit insane I guess. I dunno. Maybe I just need a good nights sleep right now.

See, this is your problem, right here. You're letting your happiness rest in the control of others. And it's not even control -- it's the happenstance that you might see her which will dictate whether or not you're happy? Come on dude, you're better than that.

I agree with Kestra and the others who say it's perfectly fine to pursue other women. You're not in a relationship with this Mia girl yet, and to be perfectly blunt there's not a lot to hold on to with her at this point. Why waste your time pining away on such a big "if" when you could be building some rapport with another (or several other) ladies?

Don't be yet another example of the typical TrekBBS male poster who drops everything for the first girl who pays any kind of attention to him. Explore your options. See who else is out there.

Sorry for being so down yesterday, I'm way better today. Just had a string of days when I felt down I guess.

And I totally get what you mean. I'm usually not like that anymore, but old bad habits come back when I'm down. Which is thankfully not as often these days.

I really want to be exploring more options, and I've actually started just talking in a friendly manner with different girls without really thinking about it until now. I probably have more of a shot then I think I do, but it's a hard change from not being confident in myself at all to actively flirting with girls.

I get what you mean and I am trying.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'm the guy who used to be like the bigtime romantic with illussions of a "one true love", and even though I've shaken that off, I still have a hard time focusing my romantical interest on several girls/women at a time. It's just how I'm wired.

Not to disagree with some of my esteemed colleagues, but there's nothing wrong with being a big-time Romantic.

 

[Lord Garth]

Congratulations Emher!

I've used dating websites and checked them sporadically but I actually ended up meeting my new girlfriend at a party. With the whole other episode I just dealt with, the timing could not have been better.

 

[Capn Flukie]

Not to be a wet blanket, but she may have other suitors (oh, how 1800's Flukie...).

 

[Lord Garth]

^ Nope. It's not the case (I can speak 19th Century too). We've talked at length since then.

 

[Kestra]

I'm the guy who used to be like the bigtime romantic with illussions of a "one true love", and even though I've shaken that off, I still have a hard time focusing my romantical interest on several girls/women at a time. It's just how I'm wired.

Not to disagree with some of my esteemed colleagues, but there's nothing wrong with being a big-time Romantic.

I don't think most of us would disagree with that. Being a "bigtime romantic" probably means different things to us, though.

^ Nope. It's not the case (I can speak 19th Century too). We've talked at length since then.

He probably was referring to Emher's woman of interest.

 

[Lord Garth]

Kestra wrote:

^ Nope. It's not the case (I can speak 19th Century too). We've talked at length since then.

He probably was referring to Emher's woman of interest.

Oops! Sorry about the mistake, if that's the case!

 

[Capn Flukie]

^ Nope. It's not the case (I can speak 19th Century too). We've talked at length since then.

Oops, my comment was meant for Emher.

She probably gets a lot of attention, always in the public eye.

 

[Colonel Green]

Not to be a wet blanket, but she may have other suitors (oh, how 1800's Flukie...).

Then surely Emher must demand satisfaction!