ADMIRAL WORMER: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to...hey, where is Kirk?
*Kirk has pencils up his nose*
ADMIRAL WORMER:Never mind
TOS Caption Contest #186: Ladies in Blue
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
*Kirk has pencils up his nose*
ADMIRAL WORMER:Never mind
Kirk: "Yes, that's very interesting, but where is your Delta? You're out of uniform!"
Marlena: I'll be glad to show you my "delta".
Kirk: "Say, silly question: why is the Captain's woman wearing Science blue? Seems Operations red or even Command gold would be more appropriate."
Marlena: "Well, my major was in botany and terraforming, but when I got aboard the Enterprise I-- wait a minute, I just got through telling you I want to [censored] your [censored] while Mr Spock [censored] my [censored] with a [censored], all while Dr. McCoy plays bongos in the background and you're worried about what color uniform I'm in?!"
(please forgive the meta-comment, I was trying to think of a caption and my mind actually wandered to "why is the captain's woman in blue? )
Kirk (thinking): Well I know what I'm doing when I get back to my quarters tonight.
Noels the Betazed: "Yes and you'll be doing it alone."
Kirk: "I was actual planning on masturbating alone."
Noels the Betazed: "I was speaking to Chief Kyle."
Chief Kyle (OS) (thinking): I have to watch my thoughts around that bitch
Kirk (thinking): "I can't prove it, but I know you're the one who posted 'Capt. Kirk has a wee willy' on the rec room bulletin board."
Marlena: "We have a saying in my universe, Captain: 'It is my duty to serve the greater glory of the Empire!'"
Kirk: "We have a saying in my universe, too: 'It's my duty to hit that booty!'"
Roddenberry (OS): "Good news and bad news, guys! NBC bought the show...but they're insisting that I get rid of one of your characters. Now, Majel is sleeping with me. Leonard, you got anything to top that?"
Hilarious! Well done there, Jonas.
KIRK: (thinking) She's fantasizing about me. I just know it,
NOEL: (thinking) Beige. I think I'll paint my cabin ceiling beige.
KIRK: What does a Captain's woman do, again?
MARLENA: Drink until you go away.
SPOCK: Your fiance and the others are alive, but unconscious.
CHAPEL: *sigh* Just like Gerald Ford.
Kirk: "Change of plans, Mr. Kyle: transporter code thirteen."
Kyle (off camera): "You want me to blow you two up?"
Kirk: "No, that's code fourteen. I want you to do a code thirteen."
Kyle (off camera): "A what?"
Kirk: "Oh for crying out..."
*gets off transporter, whispers something to Kyle, gets back on transporter*
Kirk: "Got it?"
Kyle: "Right, sir! Code thirteen. Beam her to your quarters without any clothes on!"
Kirk: *sigh*
Kirk: "Where's your agonizer?"
Marlena: "In your pants."
Spock's attempts to prove that Janice Lester switched bodies with Captain Kirk derailed when the real Kirk discovered he had boobs.
Noel: (thinking) "That's odd. Jim never asks for a second cup of coffee at home..."
And just how many of these young pups around here do you expect to get that? I just barely remember it myself, and my memory might be secondhand at that.
Noel: (thinking) "That's odd. Jim never asks for a second cup of coffee at home..."
And just how many of these young pups around here do you expect to get that? I just barely remember it myself, and my memory might be secondhand at that.
(Gasp, creak, wheeze) I remember it... but I dunno if you were quoting the original or the spoof.
.
Starfleet HR rep (off-camera): Even something as innocent as bringing a bowl of Plomeek soup can be misconstrued as sexual harassment, Miss Chapel.
