Should I join a dating service?
- Thread starter Emher
- Start date
I really need to stop skim-reading. I first read this as "... slip her your tongue..." and thought, "hmm, ballsy move!".
Good job, Emher!
I have to say, though, that I didn't have time today to scan the entirety of this thread but as things appear to be breaking free for you, here is some advice that may help. I don't know what advice you might have received from the ladies on this board, but here are some things for you to consider.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. After twenty-one years with Mrs. SicOne, my old remembered game is a tad off nowadays but women can nonetheless smell desperation. Like dogshit. Continue to play it cool. Women want to feel that you are into them, but not TOO into them. If she gets this deer-in-the-headlights look, back off a little.
Let her do most of the talking. And pay attention to her when she talks. Women love to be listened to. There may not necessarily be a quiz later, but if you are able to reference with relevance something she was saying earlier into something she's saying now, then she knows you've been listening. You don't have to sit down with a pen and a legal pad and transcribe the conversation, but pay attention. Also, by listening you'll discover what SHE wants. It may be pleasant dinner companionship for that evening; it may be something more significant, but listening to her you will discover the clues.
One final bit of unsolicited advice...if she doesn't bring up Star Trek, don't bring it up that you're a fan. That can wait until another outing. In my inexperienced youth, I do believe I scared some girls away with my Trekiness that otherwise they might have stuck around a bit longer. I dig Trek. To me, and to others on this board, Trek is cool. I understand that. However, a lot of women don't. In the fullness of time, the unabashed nerdiness that was the dating-era SicOne would have been revealed in full but I would have gotten more action had I played that particular card a little closer to the vest at first.
Good luck, buddy.
I have to say, though, that I didn't have time today to scan the entirety of this thread but as things appear to be breaking free for you, here is some advice that may help. I don't know what advice you might have received from the ladies on this board, but here are some things for you to consider.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. After twenty-one years with Mrs. SicOne, my old remembered game is a tad off nowadays but women can nonetheless smell desperation. Like dogshit. Continue to play it cool. Women want to feel that you are into them, but not TOO into them. If she gets this deer-in-the-headlights look, back off a little.
Let her do most of the talking. And pay attention to her when she talks. Women love to be listened to. There may not necessarily be a quiz later, but if you are able to reference with relevance something she was saying earlier into something she's saying now, then she knows you've been listening. You don't have to sit down with a pen and a legal pad and transcribe the conversation, but pay attention. Also, by listening you'll discover what SHE wants. It may be pleasant dinner companionship for that evening; it may be something more significant, but listening to her you will discover the clues.
One final bit of unsolicited advice...if she doesn't bring up Star Trek, don't bring it up that you're a fan. That can wait until another outing. In my inexperienced youth, I do believe I scared some girls away with my Trekiness that otherwise they might have stuck around a bit longer. I dig Trek. To me, and to others on this board, Trek is cool. I understand that. However, a lot of women don't. In the fullness of time, the unabashed nerdiness that was the dating-era SicOne would have been revealed in full but I would have gotten more action had I played that particular card a little closer to the vest at first.
Good luck, buddy.
I hope so, but I'm not counting on it.^^ Looks like you've got it made.
I knew I should have gotten the business cards made! And I have a chamringly quirky and good samaritan kind of job as well, would probably score some points. I help people out with various small things that they either don't have the time or the energy for, so I get a lot of jobs from old people, which is nice and caring to do. Not to mention I enjoy the work.
Quite! Would be infamous in town if I did that!I really need to stop skim-reading. I first read this as "... slip her your tongue..." and thought, "hmm, ballsy move!".
Thanks!Way to go Emher!
Yeah definetly trying to take it cool. I've been way to desperate in the past and it's not worked out well. I'm playing my current try as something I would love to work out, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't.Good job, Emher!
I have to say, though, that I didn't have time today to scan the entirety of this thread but as things appear to be breaking free for you, here is some advice that may help. I don't know what advice you might have received from the ladies on this board, but here are some things for you to consider.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. After twenty-one years with Mrs. SicOne, my old remembered game is a tad off nowadays but women can nonetheless smell desperation. Like dogshit. Continue to play it cool. Women want to feel that you are into them, but not TOO into them. If she gets this deer-in-the-headlights look, back off a little.
Let her do most of the talking. And pay attention to her when she talks. Women love to be listened to. There may not necessarily be a quiz later, but if you are able to reference with relevance something she was saying earlier into something she's saying now, then she knows you've been listening. You don't have to sit down with a pen and a legal pad and transcribe the conversation, but pay attention. Also, by listening you'll discover what SHE wants. It may be pleasant dinner companionship for that evening; it may be something more significant, but listening to her you will discover the clues.
One final bit of unsolicited advice...if she doesn't bring up Star Trek, don't bring it up that you're a fan. That can wait until another outing. In my inexperienced youth, I do believe I scared some girls away with my Trekiness that otherwise they might have stuck around a bit longer. I dig Trek. To me, and to others on this board, Trek is cool. I understand that. However, a lot of women don't. In the fullness of time, the unabashed nerdiness that was the dating-era SicOne would have been revealed in full but I would have gotten more action had I played that particular card a little closer to the vest at first.
Good luck, buddy.
And I'm pretty damn good at the listening thing. Too good in fact, so to that I've been "the friend" with most girls thus far since I haven't put forward my romantic interest soon enough. But in this case I'm leading with that, so there's no confusion. And I've got a decent memory and tend to remember things about what I'm interested in...which would be her.
Actually I have a feeling this girl might be pretty cool, as in not part of the usual "cool" crowd. She's got these very nice tatoos on her lower forearms, not sleazy ones but really artistic ones that fit her. Diregardning that, I do like Trek, but it's not my biggest fandom. First and foremost I'm a Film fan, then a Anime fan, then a sci-fi fan, and then a Trek fan. So it's part of what I am, but not all I am. Got a bit of a macho card with the car interest
Got it covered, bro and I do random chest bumps when not in places to embarras ourselves. Unless we do it to beffudel onlookers
Update!
Shopped some tonight and of course arranged so that I was in her line. She said "hi" with a smile and I returned the favor. I start the card process to pay and, again, the card has trouble working.
Me: "Ah come on."
She: "Oh same problem again?" *giggle*
Me: "Yeah, I know..."
She: "I can swipe it back here instead if you-" Then it it worked. "There we go! Only for you." *smile*
Me: "Third time's the charm I guess" Slight pause. "I'm sorry if you thought I was pushy the other night"
She: "What? No, not at all! It's only nice hearing that."
Me: "Well...some people would take offence."
She: "Like who?" *giggle*
Me: "I don't know actually...Me being silly I guess." Then the next customer came along. "Oh well, bye."
She: "Bye!"
So that seems good, right? I'm thinking my next move is get the business cards I mentioned done (need to get them done anyway for work) over the weekend and then next week maybe talk to her again and say something like "Look, I think you seem fun and I'd like to get you know you better, so if you'd like to get a coffe or something and talk (hand over business card) give me a call." Followed, hopefully, by a little discussion about my job, seeing as it's quirky enough to get a reaction. If that works, great and fantastic and I can hopefully take it from there, if she doesn't want to, fine. at least I know.
Sound good?
Shopped some tonight and of course arranged so that I was in her line. She said "hi" with a smile and I returned the favor. I start the card process to pay and, again, the card has trouble working.
Me: "Ah come on."
She: "Oh same problem again?" *giggle*
Me: "Yeah, I know..."
She: "I can swipe it back here instead if you-" Then it it worked. "There we go! Only for you." *smile*
Me: "Third time's the charm I guess" Slight pause. "I'm sorry if you thought I was pushy the other night"
She: "What? No, not at all! It's only nice hearing that."
Me: "Well...some people would take offence."
She: "Like who?" *giggle*
Me: "I don't know actually...Me being silly I guess."
Then the next customer came along. "Oh well, bye."She: "Bye!"
So that seems good, right? I'm thinking my next move is get the business cards I mentioned done (need to get them done anyway for work) over the weekend and then next week maybe talk to her again and say something like "Look, I think you seem fun and I'd like to get you know you better, so if you'd like to get a coffe or something and talk (hand over business card) give me a call." Followed, hopefully, by a little discussion about my job, seeing as it's quirky enough to get a reaction. If that works, great and fantastic and I can hopefully take it from there, if she doesn't want to, fine. at least I know.
Sound good?
You're not. It's time to make your move.
You need to make your move and make it quickly before she assumes you're not interested.
There's a cute girl at the gym I go to who tends to be there around the same times as me. She has to be one of the unfriendliest looking people I've ever seen. I am therefore making it my mission to engage her in conversation. If I can do it with her I can do it with anyone.
Go for it. You'll kick yourself if you wait too long, and she's decided to move on.
Yeah, even if you get embarassed regretting it down the line will feel even worse.
Good luck!
I don't know, it seems weird to give a girl a business card. - maybe mention you just got the cards made, so you're showing them off or something. Obviously, do the whole give me a call bit first, but as an explanation for why you're giving her a card.
Maybe that's just me - I'm not the world's greatest at social interaction
I don't know, it seems weird to give a girl a business card. - maybe mention you just got the cards made, so you're showing them off or something. Obviously, do the whole give me a call bit first, but as an explanation for why you're giving her a card.
Maybe that's just me - I'm not the world's greatest at social interaction
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Don't pull a Treker and wait for two weeks before talking to her.
At the same time, don't build this up in your head either. From the look of it, you may already have done just that but it's just going to disappoint you in the end. Now's the time to be detached and not give one flying fuck one way or the other what happens.
That being said, I would also suggest you pay close attention to my original advice in this thread. You're pursuing her at her place of employment and she's already automatically being nice to you. Really be honest with yourself about what signals she's sending before you do anything beyond asking her out.
At the same time, don't build this up in your head either. From the look of it, you may already have done just that but it's just going to disappoint you in the end. Now's the time to be detached and not give one flying fuck one way or the other what happens.
That being said, I would also suggest you pay close attention to my original advice in this thread. You're pursuing her at her place of employment and she's already automatically being nice to you. Really be honest with yourself about what signals she's sending before you do anything beyond asking her out.
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