TOS Caption Contest #181: The Last King of Scott-Land

[Rat Boy]

Whoa, put the freaky axe thing down, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's psychotically grope...

For proving that it takes a while to work the bugs out, our winner is...

Defective early-model Ass-Rubbing Clone is doing it wrong.

For demonstrating once more that McCoy has trouble pronouncing Vulcan words (see "Journey to Babel" and TMP for further proof), our winner is...

Guard: Kal-if-fee!

McCoy: Gesundheit.

And for showing what McCoy contemplates when he's alone, our winner is...

McCoy (to himself): "Hmmm, which saltshakers will I impress them with today?"

Two Photoshop winners, with our first proving that caption contests are also a game of inches...

Just when McCoy thought his day couldn't get any worse, he finds himself facing 4th and 21.



.

And finally for tripping out, our last Photoshop winner is...

STAR TREK -- The Space Ballet

(Larger version)

... or animated:

Congratulations to the winners. This week, it's a salute to Scotty. First, Scotty tries to explain to Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy the concept of Depends. Next, Scotty meets an exotic dancer; what could possibly go wrong? Finally, Scotty finds himself a little overdressed for the occasion. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Suh, I think you have the assless chaps on backwards."

Scotty: "I'll be wanting me finger back."

Kara: "Not after I'm done with it."

Scotty: "You may want to keep out of the Caption Contest waiting room for a while. Conway Twitty and Grignak just had baked beans."

 

[jep]

Scotty: "I'd kill for one night alone with you, lass.


.

 

[jep]

Scotty: "Damn it man, you could have just asked me, and I would have told you I wasn't wearing any underwear!!!!"


.

 

[jep]

McCoy: "MMMM-mmm-mmm.... Scotty fills out those pants really well."

Scotty: "Why did my ass suddenly get hot?"


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Now there's an ass only a clone could rub.

SCOTTY: Would ye like to see what a Scotsman keeps under his kilt?

SCOTTY: All my pants are in the wash, so just shut up!

 

[jep]

Scotty: "No, as a matter of fact that was not my hand touching your knee."



.

 

[jep]

Scotty: "You lads are wearing red shirts. You won't be needin' those phasers.



.

 

[jep]

Scotty: (Looking around) "Thanks for inviting me, lass, but I'm beginning to think "orgy" doesn't mean the same thing on this planet as it does back on earth."



.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY(thinking): Say what you wanna...but Scotty works OUT.

KARA: Have you ever seen me dance before?

SCOTTY: How do ye think I lost me finger?

SCOTTY: Bloody hell.

The Captain said we were ALL supposed to wear kilts for this ceremony. Borgas FRAT BASTARD.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY: Well, lads. I'm at a loss.

McCOY: Would this be the time for a LOTTA colorful metaphors?

 

[ItsGreen]

....and your name lass?
It's Lorna, Lorna Doone,
Hi Lorna, How ya do'in!

(Stooges tribute)

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Sulu's right, Scotty. Your ass is getting as big as Jim's potbelly. Tell yah what — I'm putting you on a dietary salad.
Scotty: Ack! But I need meh doughnuts!

Kara: I only like men who have sick knife fetishes.
Scotty: Well, lass, 'tis your lucky day.

Scotty: Yah canna tell but I got a real throbber underneath this kilt.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

[Shameless advertising] The DS9forum now has a Caption contest again, if you haven't come and posted, come by soon! [/shameless advertising]

McCoy: You do know that if Ambassador Fox beams down to Eminiar-

Scotty: Yes.

McCoy: -He'll be killed.

Scotty; Yes.

McCoy: And the reason you're not stopping him?

Scotty: He insulted my engines!

McCoy: That was High Commissioner Ferris.

Scotty: Ach! You're right! Outta the way!

Scotty: Would ye believe that Kirk and McCoy brought me here because they thought I'd have a grudge against women because a lady caused a minor accident in Engineering? That's like disliking all dogs because one of them went to the bathroom on your front lawn.

Scotty: For the last time, it's Fashionable!

 

[jep]

Kara: "Don't you find me attractive?"

Scotty: "Aye, I did, until you took off your top, laddie."



.

 

[cooleddie74]

I clapped, lass, because I need to save the battery in the flashing light for when I bring meself to climax.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Look "Kenny G", just play the song as written. None of your riffing!

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY: Look, lads...playing "Hail to the Chief" is one thing. I'll bloody allow it.

But "Baby's Got Back"?

 

[jep]

Conan: "I'm telling you, the only way to handle it is to go up to Kirk like this, pop him in the mouth, and tell him your poor bairns can't handle any more.



.

 

[jep]

Scotty realizes he's found a worthy opponent as the staring contest enters its 23rd hour without a winner.


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