TOS Caption Contest #180: No Bones About It

[jep]

McCoy: "Open the medicine cabinet door."

Computer: "I'm sorry Leonard, I'm afraid I can't do that.

McCoy: "What's the problem?"

Computer: "I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do."

McCoy: "What are you talking about?"

Computer: "This medicine is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."



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[The Squire of Gothos]

McCoy: "Open the medicine cabinet door."

Computer: "I'm sorry Leonard, I'm afraid I can't do that.

I had the same idea but you did it so much better than I had planned.

McCoy: "McCoy to Sulu, about 12 inches, energise. And after this we're quits dammit!"

 

[jep]

"McCoy to bridge, I've searched sickbay. He's not in here."



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[Nerys Myk]

CRAZY MCCOY: You can't fool me Spock! Where's the other one!!!

MCCOY: What? All I said was the chick playing her on Enterprise was hotter!

MCCOY: Alone at last!!!! Now I can finally find out whats behind those damn glass doors!

 

[T'Girl]

MCCOY: Alone at last!!!! Now I can finally find out whats behind those damn glass doors!

Opens glass doors.

McCoy: My God ... I've heard the rumors, but I never imagined that Chapel's dildo collection was this elaborate.

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk, off screen: What's with the Bongs?

McCoy: They're part of Carl's collection. He ran out of space in his quarters so he asked me to store some of them for him.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Hobo: pisses himself uncontrollably.
Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Great great granddad! Is that really you? ... Aw crap!"

McCoy: "Now I get it. If this is what all Vulcan barbers are like, I'd stick with the pudding bowl haircut as well."

McCoy muttering: "Let's see, Jim skipped out on his physical again. Have to chase him up on that. Physicals for crewmen Jenkins, Hadat, and Simcoe completed... requisitioned new stim pills, running low... have to run routine scans on engineering crew for delta ray exposure later. What's next..? oh crap, Sulu's proctological.

out loud: Computer! Pink Alert!

mutters: I hope he doesn't bring his own lube again.

 

[ItsGreen]

Finally the day is done! Now to make a Theragen Highball!
Through the lips and over the tongue, look out stomach here it comes!

 

[Tribble]

McCoy: Hmm, or maybe this picture would look better on the wall over there?

 

[Mysterion]

.

McCoy: "Pink Alert"? They really gotta re-think this whole "don't ask, don't tell" thing if you ask me...

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Well, it's a little snug on the inseam. Tell you what; drop these off and I'll have them ready for you tomorrow.

*turns to camera*

"What, you thought this was going to be a dirty caption?"

McCoy: "Don't let her push you around, Jim. Remember, she said their laws weren't binding on us."

T'Pau: "Dis battle to to de death."

McCoy: "Kick his ass, Jim!"

McCoy: "Suddenly I'm missing Amsterdam."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy had pondered retiring after the 5 year mission was up, but when the red alert siren was replaced by vuvuzelas, that was the last straw.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Bipedel construction...bifurcated penis?

Spock: Shave and a haircut...two bits.

McCoy: The blow job lamp is on, Nurse Chapel.
Sulu (off-camera): Oh, my!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Sorry Bones, but they just don't let everyone into this nightclub.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the left ear

VULCAN: I know how to do my job, asshole!

 

[26138]

McCoy: "Well, it's a little snug on the inseam. Tell you what; drop these off and I'll have them ready for you tomorrow.

Mr. Humphries (off camera): "I'm free!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: "Well, it's a little snug on the inseam. Tell you what; drop these off and I'll have them ready for you tomorrow.

Mr. Humphries (off camera): "I'm free!"

Mr. Grainger (off-cam): Oh, just tell him, it'll ride up with wear.
Mr. Lucas (off-cam): The pants or Mr. Humphries?

BONUS: "Are You Being Served, Sir?" sung by the great, late John Inman.

 

[26138]

McCoy: "Well, it's a little snug on the inseam. Tell you what; drop these off and I'll have them ready for you tomorrow.

Mr. Humphries (off camera): "I'm free!"

Mr. Grainger (off-cam): Oh, just tell him, it'll ride up with wear.
Mr. Lucas (off-cam): The pants or Mr. Humphries?

BONUS: "Are You Being Served, Sir?" sung by the great, late John Inman.

Humphries: "Some people have all the luck..."

 

[jep]

McCoy gets cock-blocked, hard, Vulcan style.



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[jep]

McCoy: "All I did was ask her if she was related to that girl from 'Boy Meets World'. It's an honest question. "T'Pau", "Topanga", see the similarity?"

Kirk: "(Sigh)"



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