TOS Caption Contest #179: For Those About To Spock...

[Rat Boy]

Wipe that grin off your face, because it's time for another caption contest. First up, let's shake hands with...

For Kirk envy, our winner is...

Kirk: "Love the bare shoulder look! You wouldn't believe how many shirts I ruin in a week just to get that look!"

For Kirk diplomacy, our winner is...

Kirk; "Commodore please, when Mr Spock said the Lexington's emblem looked like a pansy he meant nothing more by it."

For Kirk confusion, our winner is...

KIRK: Seriously, guys...I'm at a total loss here.

What should we do?

SULU: Surrender? And hope they take prisoners?

SCOTTY: Acccch, you're no bloody help, lad!

And for Kirk explanations, our winner is...

Or animated:

Kirk: Easy, gentlemen, I'm sure we can resolve the issue. Just let me get this straight. Mr Wesley, you are complaining that Mr Spock here squeezed your buttcheeks and jerked off, like this....

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we salute Spock. First up, Spock tests that old axiom about never going back. Second, Spock regrets letting his mother clean his room for him since he can't find his harp anymore. And finally, Spock understands that imitation really isn't the sincerest form of flattery. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Stop pulling on it, it's not a wig."

Amanda: "I just had this horrible dream. It was like I was in an alternate reality."

Spock: "You died?"

Amanda: "No, I was being portrayed by a shoplifter!"

Kirk: "It...it was a ricepicker!"

Spock: "I didn't believe that shit before and I'm not believing it now."

 

[jep]

Spock: "Your knowledge of the location of Vulcan sexual organs is impressive."

Leila: "But I'm just rubbing your --- ewwwww!!!!!"



.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: When you said you'd give me head, this wasn't what I thought you had in mind?

Amanda: Spock...father knows best.

Nimoy: Are you really that jealous, Bill, that you'd have the make-up department make you look like me? Bad enough you count my lines.

 

[jep]

Amanda: "Spock, can you explain this? I found it under your bed."

Spock: "Mother, how many times have I asked you -- "

Amanda: "My goodness!! Isn't this that you Sulu fellow on the cover?"

Spock: (Sigh).



.

 

[jep]

Nimoy: "Wow, talk about a fucked-up face-lift! Who did that, Dr. Seuss?"



.

 

[Maurice]

LEILA: What's that strange sensation?
SPOCK: It's the Vulcan crotch meld. My thoughts to your parts...
LEILA: Tingly!

AMANDA: What does this Vulcan term, "MILF" mean?

SPOCK: And did Dr. McCoy make you...anatomically correct for a Vulcan?
KIRK: How do you mean?
SPOCK: If you have to ask, then I have my answer.

 

[T'Girl]

Amanda: "While I'm talking to you at least pull that dildo out of your ass."

Spock: "I am trying mother."

(Spock make straining sounds)

Amanda: "That Sulu fellow tried to take my feather boa in the corridor."

Spock: "I'll talk to him Mother."

Amanda: "Klaatu barada nikto"

Spock: "Sometimes I can not understand you Mother."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Leila: "I wish you would stop sniffing so loudly! You're making me feel very self-conscious!"

Amanda: "Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your shipmates, but this is a perfectly respectable dress on Vulcan! How the hell am I supposed to know how the women dress on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet!"

Shatner: "Say, Leonard...did Fred Phillips seem kind of distracted and preoccupied to you this morning?"

Leila: "Look at that cloud! It looks like two people holding hands! And look at that cloud! It looks like two lovers in a passionate embrace! And look at that cloud! It looks like a giant, erect penis!"
Spock: "Subtlety is not one of your strong points, is it."

 

[milo bloom]

Shatner: "You know, Len, this make up isn't so bad. But I do have this inexplicable urge to photograph extra-meaty women..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

IRELAND: Charles is on the set today, so you might want to watch the hands.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "A tie? Whoopdido. I want those two hours you took out of my life back.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Amanda: "Spock, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before. When you were born, those ears tickled like the dickens!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Shatner: "At least my rug looks natural"

Nimoy: "Wait until Hi-Def comes around, then your busted"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Nimoy: "I don't wear a hairpiece."
Shatner: "No. When we're not working, you walk around in the real world with that haircut. Is it worth it?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "At least my rug looks natural"

Nimoy: "Wait until Hi-Def comes around, then your busted"

Shatner: "This is Hi-Def, jackass."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

What was that, a win?!

And now I realise Star Trek was all about the racism...

Kirk; "Look, Spock, now that I have the ears can I call you...?"
Spock; "No Captain, it is still our special word and you people cannot use it."

Kirk; "Spock, the crew, they... stare oddly."
Spock; "The ears captain."
Kirk; "So you get this every day?"
Spock; "Every day."
Kirk; "I'll have to do something about this."
Spock; "You'll have a word with the crew Captain?"
Kirk; "No, I'm going straight to sick bay, McCoy can cut the damn things off right now."

 

[jep]

Kirk: "What do you mean, 'You're leaving Starfleet'?"

Spock: "Just what I said. I'm leaving. I won the primary election in what used to be a small province called South Carolina in what used to be the United States on Earth."

Kirk: "I didn't even know you were running."

Spock: "Neither did I."



.

 

[ItsGreen]

Spock, please don't be angry with me. It was your father who gave you that
unpronounceable first name. I wanted to call you Bob.

 

[alte]

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