^You are right in that, more times than not, Trek gets the romance/love interest part wrong.
As a gay man, I have also found myself condemned if I state that a guy is hot.
[cough, cough, Harry Kim, cough cough] The assumption is usually that because I find someone attractive, I have no legitimate interest in Trek. I am capable of thinking with the other head, also.

Once, I found myself being labeled as racist, merely because I do not approve of the Spock-Uhura make-out scenes in the new movie. My belief is that Spock 'makin' out' in elevators and transporter pads is neither professional, nor Vulcan-like.
Trekkies are the only species who eat their young (or old or anyone who disagrees).
Lastly, I hope
xortex merely did not state his views very eloquently. I should hate to think he is really that sexist to attribute such stereotypes to all men and women.