Pregnant or fat?

[Miss Chicken]

I have just read this article on the BBC website and I was wondering if any people here have trouble telling whether some women are pregnant or just fat.

Some commuters don't give up their seats for pregnant women because they fear offending someone who is just overweight, it has emerged. Here, expectant mothers give tips on how to tell the difference.

Rest of article here

I have never made this mistake (at least I have never been told I have) nor has any mistaken any fat that I have carried for pregnancy. However I was quite skinny up to about the age of 40.

When I was pregnant people usually gave me a seat when I in the last three months or so of the pregnancy. I did however get on a crowded bus when I was about 8 months pregnant and no-one offered a seat. There were numerous high school kids seated. The bus-driver saw this and said loud enough for anyone to hear "There is a lady who looks like she is about to have a baby any minute and if one of you kids don't give her a seat I am not moving this bus". I got a seat.

 

[thestrangequark]

This thread title made me laugh out loud -- thanks Miss C!

Actually, I was just wondering today whether a woman getting on the train was pregnant or jut tubby.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I can't exactly say I've ever mistaken a fat woman for a gravid pregnant woman (and vice versa). Of course, asking for a sexual and obstetric history and obtaining a urine test helps.

Actually, that's not entirely true. When I was 3 I kept asking my mum when she'd be giving birth to another child, and would often also poke her tummy playfully to try and encourage her tummy to give up the child already. (Yes, back then I did know where babies came from, if not quite how they came out. )

People often ask me when "it" is due, however.

 

[cultcross]

A social awkwardness I know only too well. This is one reason I actively avoid the 'priority seats' at the front of buses. I never know the etiquette of who to give it up to. Usually you can tell the difference, but not always. And there's no subtle way of donig it without getting off the bus 10 stops early I mean who just thinks 'you know what, I'll stand' just for fun on the bus?

 

[Amaris]

I generally offer my seat anyway. I can stand.

 

[trampledamage]

I was just reading that article. No-one's ever offered their seat for me - either when I was fat or pregnant, which is fair enough since I didn't look much different between the two (I lost weight each time I was pregnant) so I doubt I would have risked it either.

I think I shall try saying "You look tired, would you like to sit" next time - that's usefully general.

My main worry whenever I get up to offer a seat to someone is that someone else who's standing will think I'm getting up to get off, and sit down before I have a chance to offer it!

 

[Dukat's Major]

People wear their weight in different ways...I think it's usually easy to tell if someone is pregnant or fat, but some women who are apple-shaped tend to wear it more in the stomach and front, so I can see where there could be confusion.

Sometimes I get confused too, but I'm with Sarek --- I can stand, so I'll give my seat up regardless. Doesn't matter to me

(just as a note, I don't ever use the word 'fat' pejoratively, it's just a descriptor, so not meaning to cause any offense. I know it can be a sensitive word)

 

[sbk1234]

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

Could be worse. You could ask someone if they wanted you to make them pregnant.

 

[scotpens]

. . . a gravid pregnant woman . . .

That's redundant, isn't it?

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

If she says "No," and you reply, "Funny, I could have sworn you were pregnant. You sure as hell look pregnant!"

 

[Angela 0077]

When l was pregnant with my daughter l only reached the 6th month

I was quite skinny at the time because when l was 5monthes pregnant l had my appendix out and l only had one extra month and my daughter was born

Also l was quite sick for a while even after the birth.

Well somtimes on the buses and trains people would give me a seat.

I was once at a night club and this guy asked me out and l said l was pregnant he didnt beleive smiles so l showed him my stomach the look on his face made me laugh..

 

[Captain Ice]

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

She could be a guy.

 

[Angela 0077]

I dont think there is any harm in asking if a woman is pregnamt if you ask in a nice way.

If you know the person and they have put weight in the stomach region and her breasts look bigger than what they looked before is a sign someone is pregnant.

I used to take a train to work and l always had to get off at one of the train stops to be sick.

it used to be terrible at the time.

 

[sidious618]

I know I'd not like being asked if I was pregnant or not if I was a woman. Especially if I wasn't pregnant. I'd be embarassed and pissed.

 

[Kestra]

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

It's a sensitive subject. I wouldn't want anyone asking me anything based on my physical appearance, actually. Plus what if she had been pregnant and miscarried or something?

 

[Jetfire]

I generally offer my seat anyway. I can stand.

This.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Yeah, when I visit NYC I find that it's way too rare to even get a seat on a subway train at all. Especially during rush hour like when I'm on my way to a baseball game. Unless I leave 3 hours before game time, forget about sitting down. Most of the time it's "Mark of Gideon"-like crowds in there.

 

[trampledamage]

What could possibly be the harm in asking a woman if she's pregnant?

It's a sensitive subject. I wouldn't want anyone asking me anything based on my physical appearance, actually. Plus what if she had been pregnant and miscarried or something?

Exactly. I know I would have been very embarrassed if someone asked me when I wasn't actually pregnant.

Best not to ask if they're pregnant, just offer them the seat anyway if they look like they could do with sitting down for a while.

 

[Captain_Nick]

I mean who just thinks 'you know what, I'll stand' just for fun on the bus?

That would be me. Seating is unhealthy in large doses and office work is soul and body destroying enough without extra sitting down on buses and trains.

These days I drive however.

 

[JonathonWally]

I prefer to stand on the subway. Trains are more fun standing for me. Plus, there's always the chance I'll get tossed around into a cute girl. Icebreaker win!