Pregnant or fat?

[milo bloom]

I visit the local Jimmy John's far too often, and they have several humorous or lightly-philosophical signs, one of which is a collection of Dave Barry sayings, including a little gem that goes something like "never assume a woman is pregnant unless you can, at that very moment, see a baby emerging from her body."

That said, having fathered a child of my own with a woman who was already on the meaty side when she got pregnant, plus now hanging out with all her mom friends and going to parenting groups, I'm getting a little better at spotting the baby bumps.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

. . . a gravid pregnant woman . . .

That's redundant, isn't it?

Not in your first trimester. The baby doesn't just pop into existence inside there, you know. It grows.

Chances are there are not so fat women who might be pregnant, yet they're in their early stages.

 

[scotpens]

^ I always thought “gravid” was a synonym for “pregnant” -- as in the medical term primigravida, a woman having her first pregnancy. From perusing online dictionaries, it appears it also has the meaning of “visibly pregnant” or “in an advanced stage of pregnancy.” My half-bad.

 

[Roger Wilco]

You can give up your seat without making a big deal out of it. I usually just stand up without saying anything and move towards the door or something anyway.

 

[Deckerd]

Sometimes it's obvious which is which. Sometimes it isn't. Pregnant women tend to look a lot happier than fat women.

 

[DeafPoet]

My hometown was positively full of pregnant women, fat women and women who fell in the middle of the Venn diagram. I can tell the difference fairly well.

I realize how mistaking someone who's overweight for being pregnant can be a sensitive issue. It's just never been an issue I've had a problem with.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

^ I always thought gravid was a synonym for pregnant -- as in the medical term primigravida, a woman having her first pregnancy. From perusing online dictionaries, it appears it also has the meaning of visibly pregnant or in an advanced stage of pregnancy. My half-bad.

Well, in obstetrics, gravidity (the G number) refers to total number of pregnancies, whether they go to full term or are terminated, etc. (There is also the P (partum) number, referring to the number of live births.)

For us less obstetric types, rightly or wrongly, we refer to a gravid uterus as one that is obviously with child, e.g. when examining a pregnant woman.

Personally, when it comes to O&G stuff, I wouldn't touch that sort of thing with a bargepole. I'd use a speculum, just like everyone else.

 

[Rii]

I generally offer my seat anyway. I can stand.

If only she'd had a similar philosophy.

 

[iguana_tonante]

You can give up your seat without making a big deal out of it. I usually just stand up without saying anything and move towards the door or something anyway.

I do exactly the same. There is no need to make grand gestures of it. The best courtesy lives in the understatement. My problem is more that I rarely notice people around me, since while commuting I'm usually reading something.

 

[trampledamage]

The problem with just standing up without specifically offering your seat to someone is that there's rarely only one person standing. So you'll be giving your seat to someone, but not necessarily the tired looking old man, or the woman who looks like she's about to faint.

 

[Smiley]

Guys can offer a lady a seat at any time. Physical condition does not factor into it. Just don't give a reason why you're offering the seat, and she will not be offended if your unspoken assumption is wrong.

 

[iguana_tonante]

The problem with just standing up without specifically offering your seat to someone is that there's rarely only one person standing. So you'll be giving your seat to someone, but not necessarily the tired looking old man, or the woman who looks like she's about to faint.

Ninety-nine percent of the time, it will, at least around here. Most of the time, people are a lot nicer than you would suspect. In case of need, a slight hand gesture or a soft "please" is more than enough to signal it.

 

[Roger Wilco]

Ninety-nine percent of the time, it will, at least around here. Most of the time, people are a lot nicer than you would suspect. In case of need, a slight hand gesture or a soft "please" is more than enough to signal it.

Yeah. Besides, it's not my responsibility anymore once I stand up. If some jerk sits down before the person I stood up for - well, what can you do?...

Smiley's point is also good.

 

[Mary Ann]

Hee, I've been on the receiving end of this. I'm overweight and my first two children were born in March, so I spent the latter parts of those pregnancies in big, baggy coats. By January I noticed neighbours whom I only knew on a nodding basis give me curious looks but none of them dared approach me and ask outright, in case I wasn't pregnant and had simply gone on a cheesecake binge. It was only when I began to do the pregnancy waddle that I was congratulated by these people.

 

[Daneel]

It's never cause me any problems in the past, fortunately, but I do sometimes worry about making this mistake.

There's this young woman I see where I work, and a month or so ago, I noticed that she was looking a little paunchy, which I thought was odd, as she had always seemed on the thin side. I saw her again more recently, and her stomach was even bigger, and suddenly, it dawned on me -- she wasn't getting fat, she was pregnant! I felt like an idiot for not realizing it before, but to be fair, she does seem fairly young -- twenty-ish, let's say. I was not entirely sure she wasn't still a teenager, so pregnancy wasn't the first thing that came to my mind.

Still, I haven't asked her about it... just in case I'm wrong.