Smallville Summer Hiatus Thread III (Spoilers)

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"Lana... I did this for you, so we could be together."





Please, please let her be the one character that DOESN'T return next year!

 

wait... All he needs to do is to expose himself to some harmless blue kryptonite and then that deadly green kyrptonite has absolutely no effect on him AND he can have regular orgasms without worrying that releasing a load from his chamber which will pop her head off? Or more so accurately now, that it won't mash her insides against the interior membrane of that nigh invulnerable "suit" she wears.

More so what if they just over exposed Lana to Blue Kryptonite which might push the green charge she's carrying "out" since she probably only has a finite capacity to contain absorbed radiation that the old stuff gets dumped to make way fro the new, like with food and pooh.

Though she's probably got sick of the pain caused by the suit and is either strung out on class A drugs (or just whiskey? A whole episode of super drunk super strong Lana?) or thankfully topped herself.

 

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Seriously, what Clark needed was to convince one of the hot Kandorian babes, probably Vala, to hang around so he could have normal Kryptonian sex without worrying her head exploding when he shot his wad. Considering the fact the Douche can't figure out how to fly, I'm not sure I'd trust the fact that he's learned how to 'control' himself.

We're right back to the 'Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue' perplex.

 

Right back? It's never left me. I have that ode in a loop in my head constantly.

I wouldn't mind picking up a collection of readings of that short essay from different actors who have played Lois Lane and Clark Kent over the years.

but it kinda made his rejection of Chloe all those times more plausible that he was incapable of returning physical love to her, even though it was equally impossible to do so with Lana but he loved her so much he didn't care about the limitations to that mostly hypothetical relationship for the first 3 years.

But the teleport girl... A variation on the withdrawal method, she teleports as he warns her that he is cumming, then they just have to have the usual concern about striking any loadbearing walls.

 

Thanks Guy, now I'm going to have deal with having THAT image stuck in my mind!

 

Maxima and Zod would have made an interesting couple. Not to mention that if she already ruled a technologically sophisticated world, and would let the the Kryptonians emigrate, couldn't the General just thrown earth away as a little fish?

Depowering Clark for coitus without depowering Lana for coitus just puts the shoe on the other foot, and if she is in pain or suppressing her pain or more likely all her sensations what good is coitus to her but to unmask the mountain of pain as she loses concentration while looking for a nugget of joy?

The fortress could have sent them to kryptons past. they could have lived on their homeworld hundreds, if not thousands of years before it's destruction and still live on a planet boasting tech a million years ahead of earth.

Are we agreed that this other world they were sent to was/is the Phantom Zone that at the time these plans were put into progress was not yet a prison?

How did kara stay on earth if she did?

 

Come on guys this IS also a news thread....and I've been asleep all day due to my damn back and I still found this...not sure what this means for the series but I do remember reading something about this a while ago.

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=26470

 

I can't buffer the hard news with mindless and juvenile faux porn?

 

^ Of course you can dude but I can't be the only dude doing all the work here

 

Why would you want to share the glory?

 

Didn't they wave that problem away already - Clark tells Chloe that his training with Jor-El has taught him how to better control himself around humans.

 

^ What training? Jor-El told him about girls and stuff?

 

I'm guessing he meant controlling his strength so that he doesn't break someone's arm when shaking their hand or tear the door off the fridge when he's hungry.

 

Reread what Proctus said.

We've taken into account that Clark claims he can plough fields with the strength of a thousand tractors, and never sew a seed in any place too delicate, that the field would be caved in looking like it had been struck by a steaming meteor... But we don't believe him.

Think of that relative of yours who claims they are a good driver but keeps getting into accidents or that other relative who keeps claiming that they have had enough children and that NOW they will be careful or that other relative who swears that they can manage their alcohol and nothing bad will happen at the picnic next Sunday.

Pride cometh before the fall.

You must have read Larry Niven's essay Man of Steel, Woman of kleenex?

 

It must have been the episode with Silver Banshee, but Chloe asked Clark if it was safe for him to "boff" Lois, and Clark replied that it was part of his training to be more controlled during coitus, or words to that effect.

 

I haven't, no.

You see, during my many, many years as a comic book fan, I don't seem to recall Clark killing Lois by ejaculating too hard. Not even in the appropriately named Superdickery years.

That's despite them clearly having a healthy sex life.

 

I've left this link in these forums maybe half a dozen times, and I've seen others do the same, but anytime someone talks about Superman's sexual dysfunctions, they're usually referencing some fraction of this body of work.

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

It's hilarious and copyrighted to 1971, so people have been thinking about this stuff before most of us had been born and not just since Mallrats.

 

^The problem is that today, in 2010, Clark is not a virgin. He and Lois clearly have a healthy sex life with no Kryptonite or anything else involved.

It's the same thing with when Supergirl showed up in Superman/Batman. Everyone thought she was stronger than Superman, including her. As it turned out, it was only because Clark had learned to hold back whereas Kara had not.

The two questions we really should be asking are whether or not Clark's friend Diana has learned the same lesson and if not, is that why she's still apparently a virgin ?

 

It's an awesome article and a basis for one of my favorite bits of dialogue from "Mallrats" and the Kryptonite condom joke.

 

Things like this really get under my skin...why they don't take care of this type of thing at the time it happens is beyond me.

I am not sure this really effects the show from a fan perspective...but it is dumb to be fighting over royalties and such this late in the game.