TAS Caption Contest #26: Cats Amoré

[Rat Boy]

To the last, I grapple with thee...at least until now, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's spy on...

For showing off, our winner is...

Spock: "Hmm... Squadron of Klingon cruisers... passed through here. Not more than 5 hours ago."
Kirk: "Give it up Spock! You're not an Indian Scout!"

For an impromptu anatomy lesson, our winner is...

KIRK (off camera): So, that thing under his chin is his....

MCCOY (off camera): Yep, with that third leg it had to go somewhere.

For demonstrating that not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place (or the same ZIP code), our winner is...

Kirk: Scotty, stop fondling his balls and give them back!

Congratulations to the winners. This time around, we salute "The Slaver Weapon" and yet another entry in the series of pink villains. First up, Sulu's about ready to fly into the nearest sun when Uhura brings up the MLK story again. Next, Chuft Captain decides to spice things up by trying Slaver porn. Finally, Uhura's plan to escape by doing a feather fan dance was going well until the Kzinti ate all the birds. Have fun and see you in three weeks:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "So I'm guessing instead of blue balls, Vulcans get blue legs."

Uhura: "Shut up."

Sulu: *snicker*

Chuft Captain: "'For a good time call...'"

Uhura: "You touch that candy and I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura (to Sulu): "Hands off the Vulcan, bitch! He's mine!"

"Aw, dammit! They sent the photo, but it's not autographed!"

Uhura: "Morris? Bullshit! Your name is not Morris!"

 

[Cornholio]

Spock: I don't think we can go $300 for the artsy-fartsy thing Joel.

Kzinti: damn, the prizes in Cracker Jack get lamer and lamer.

Kzinti: damn you evil woman! you put lava rocks in our litter box!

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU: Say what you will, but this freaky shuttle layout will look INCREDIBLE on the new Quatro(tm) TV screen.

Wow. She's HOT.

She got any fellow female hatchlings?

UHURA: Hurry up and finish your damn painting, fellas.

My ass and legs are going numb over here.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Uhura: Left turn signal is still on.
Sulu: Ha. Ha. Haven't heard that joke before.

Music in the background: I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real...

Kzin: She doesn't know how to use the shells!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KZINTI: What are you waiting for? Fire up the grill!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kzinti: "Nyota? The hell kind of name is that?"

 

[Isis]

Sulu: "Set phasers on stunning..."

Uhura: "When Kirk said he had two cats for me to meet, I didn't realize I should be taking him literally."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: One "Swedish made Penis Pump"....

SULU: Its not mine!

 

[milo bloom]

When Spock pulled out his Magic: The Gathering cards, again, Uhura decided she'd rather take her chances listening to Sulu complain about the color schemes of the Kziniti.

 

[T'Girl]

Uhura: "My God, we're going to crash!"

Sulu: "Don't worry, I'm like a feather in the wind."

Uhura: "That's the guy from the other movie, and they crashed, and he died!"

Uhura: "I'll never talk."

Kziniti: "Talking isn't what we have in mind."

---Disco ball lowers from ceiling---

Uhura: "Hey, what the hell ..."

Kzinti: "Begin audio program."

Speakers: Boom Chicky Wa Wa

Uhura: "Oh my."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Uhura: "Soft centres have the little swirls on top, the hard centres have teeth marks."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kziniti: "And why shouldn't we hate you humans! We hear you keep your own felines as pets! And you crudely refer to female genitalia as--"
Uhura: "Look, I didn't have anything to do with any of that!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Uhura tosses ball
FORGROUND KZINTI: If so such a move an inch after that ball, I'm gonna kill you!

BACKGROUND KZINTI: Can't...resist....moving object...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kzinti: We have captured you for your alluring scent.
Uhura: Oh, thank you. It's Channel #5.
Kzinti: I thought it was called tuna.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

^^ Rude but funny, potential winner!

Uhura: "Mr Sulu would love your hot pink outfits, can I take him one?"

 

[Mysterion]

UHURA (to self): Worst game of Twister EVER!

 

[Rat Boy]

Chuft Captain: "Aunt Lisa?"

 

[cooleddie74]

WORST Penthouse centerfold ever.