Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Captain Robau saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine in theaters. He gave it a thumbs up for their effort to try and approach his kind of awesomeness....
Oh the Robau, jokes don't get old.
"Oh the Robau" is the hymn you should be singing right now.
Cameron based the character of Col. Quaritch on Robau's old jazz dance teacher.
Robau doesn't dance to jazz. He dances to the screams of his enemies and the lamentation of... THE WOMEN!
Robau stopped dancing to jazz after he invented "jazz hands".
Robau is the reason Peter Pan peanut butter is so peanutty.
This.
And Robau would never, EVER do "jazz hands". If he sees you doing them, he will straight up kill you, don't pass GO.
You can thank him for the crunchy kind too, even moreso.
Robau could care the hell less if the President has been kidnapped by ninjas. He's already a bad enough dude.
A young boy once told Robau that he wanted to post in the Facts About Captain Robau thread. Robau told him to go be a child, for there would be time for that later, as it was for his father and his father's father and his father's father's sister and his father's father's sister's ex boyfriend who was only just trolling, and didn't really like Star Trek in the first place.
Robau likes granola bars. Huge ones. Made from the ground-up bones of his enemies.
And raisins.
ENORMOUS raisins.
Frickin' HUGE. And juicy.
He forms them raisins by breathing on a grape vine, so that they grow exponentially.
Then, when the time is right, he picks the gargantuan grapes, squeezes them in his fist (filling a set of wine barrels), and voila--ROBAU RAISINS!!!
Then, when the time is right, he picks the gargantuan grapes, squeezes them in his fist (filling a set of wine barrels), and voila--ROBAU RAISINS!!!
You couldn't have two scoops of Robau Raisins in a box of Raisin Bran.
One Robau Raisin would take up the whole cereal box.
One Robau Raisin would take up the whole cereal box.
^If that.
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