TOS Caption Contest #174: Impaired Judgment

[Rat Boy]

I'm going to make you a new caption contest you can't refuse. First, let's putter around with...

For the caption that you really need the picture in order to get (stupid Imageshack hiccups), our winner is...

Kelso: "I thought Alden beamed up an hour ago. What do you mean 'just his pants'?"

And for picking the wrong week to quit sniffing glue, our winner is...

KIRK: The crew? What is it?
BONES: The people who ran the ship. But that's not important right now.

And for demonstrating why food cubes was the best they could do on the ship, our winner is...

Spock: "The candy floss isn't flossing, and the popsicles look like turds on sticks."
Scott: "I'm an engineer, not a carny."

And our next winner comes in with a double-shot of Bogart instead of Brando...

Kirk: "All right! Who did it? Who did it? You are going to stand sweating at those battle stations until someone confesses! It's an insult to the honor of this ship! The symbol of our cargo record has been destroyed and I'm going to find out who did it if it takes all night!"

Chekov: "Captain, it is I, Ensign Chekov, and I just threw your stinkin' palm tree overboard! Now what's all this crud about no movie tonight?"

And our Photoshop winner corrects one little oversight...

Even the colorizer tech on the remastered DVD set
knew a red shirt when he saw one!

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we have some pics of the crew acting weird and one of a species weird sense of fashion. First up, Anans 5, 6, 8, and 9 wonder why Anan 7 is the one in charge. Second, we see Spock being happy about Kirk still being alive because he forgot where the captain left the keys to the ship. Finally, De Kelley's had enough of hearing the old MLK story from Nichelle Nichols. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Anan 7: "How did they know? I impersonated your voice perfectly!"

Kirk: "I don't say sabotage, I say sabataage."

Spock: "She's not pregnant!"

Kirk: "Who? Chapel or Uhura?"

Spock: "Both!"

Uhura: "If you don't tell the captain to at least do a courtesy flush, I'll kill him."

 

[jep]

Councilman Randy: "I just didn't think it was really great Dawg... it was just alright for me."

Councilman Kara: "You go Captain!!!"

Councilman Paula: "Nobody knows why an evil potato nervously cleaned a green shampoo bottle. The tiny answer leaps upon a synonym past an uncertain union!!"

Councilman Cowell: "It was like you were the Captain of the HMS Bounty. I'm gob smacked."



.

 

[jep]

Uhura: "This... "Rohypnol", it will help me sleep, Doctor?"

McCoy: "Uh... yeah... sleep, that's right. Now let's get you back to your quarters."


.

 

[Rat Boy]

Councilman Randy: "I just didn't think it was really great Dawg... it was just alright for me."

Councilman Kara: "You go Captain!!!"

Councilman Paula: "Nobody knows why an evil potato nervously cleaned a green shampoo bottle. The tiny answer leaps upon a synonym past an uncertain union!!"

Anan 7: "That's it. Bring in Councilwoman Ellen, I don't care how lame her jokes are."

 

[jep]

Spock: "Yes, it's true... Vulcans only have sex one day every seven years."

Kirk: "Seven YEARS???? Then why in God's name are you so happy???"

Spock: "Because today's the day!!!"



.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I'm still alive in the pool!"

Kirk: "The basketball pool or the hockey pool?"

Spock: "No, the Dancing With The Stars pool!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Spock: "Yes, it's true... Vulcans only have sex one day every seven years."

Kirk: "Seven YEARS???? Then why in God's name are you so happy???"

Spock: "Because today's the day!!!"



.

Kirk (nervously) "Uh, yeah.....there's some place I gotta be."

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "I saw Captain Kirk in my bedroom mirror! He's still alive!"

McCoy: "Still? Lieutenant, he was never dead, you just caught him peeping in on you."

Uhura: "Why that farm boy motherfucker."

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: (drunkenly) Why Mister Spock...you have such pretty blue eyes

MCCOY: Let me escort you to your quarters Lieutenant, it's uh...logical

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Anon (snidely): "Well, I'm sorry that you're 'disappointed,' but Simon and Paula and the others were declared casualties of the war and disintegrated. Now, are you gonna sing or what?"

Nimoy: "I was just thinking, Bill. When this thing crashes and burns, you're gonna be forever typecast as 'the captain in that stupid space show,' while all I'll have to do is whip off these ears and eyebrows and comb my hair and I'm good to go!"

McCoy: "Let's stop beating around the bush, Nyota. When you get tired of playing doctor with all these little boys, come see me."

 

[jep]

McCoy: "Why the blazes did you grab me like that, Uhura?!"

Uhura: "I'm sorry, doctor... I just wanted to make sure that you weren't like Mr. Spock...down there, if you know what I mean."

McCoy: (Shudder) No apologies necessary, Uhura, I understand completely."

Uhura: "Thank you doctor."

McCoy: "Well look, since you've already got your hand down there..."


.

 

[ItsGreen]

Vendikar, the Eminiar computer has spoken!

 

[ItsGreen]

"Picture yourself on a starship in innerspace,
With Tholian webs and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A Captain with kaleidoscope eyes."


Lieutenant, I better get you to sick bay.

 

[jep]

Guys in the back:

"... and I believe we're all about to die."

"Stop updating your Facebook page Frank, and check the computer for a gourmet meal
for the council that we can cook in less than one hour and forty-five minutes..."


.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"This war will not end until the great computers recognise a victory. The parameters were programmed centuries ago. There will be no peace, until we can haz cheezburger"

 

[Rat Boy]

Anan 7: "Thanks to our crappy performance at the weekly Team Fortress 2 match against Vendikar, we have to kill off an entire city. I hope all of you are happy."

Anan 8: "Maybe if somebody would play as something other than the Spy for once..."

Anan 7: "SHUT UP!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Anan 7: Out.

 

[Ssosmcin]

For the caption that you really need the picture in order to get (stupid Imageshack hiccups), our winner is...

Kelso: "I thought Alden beamed up an hour ago. What do you mean 'just his pants'?"

Awesome! Thanks for the win. :-D

 

[Maurice]

ANAN 7: Ah-ha! Got the drop on you with MY disintegration booth! And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!
(pushes button, booth vanishes)
Huh. Well, whadda ya know...it disintegrated...

UHURA: Won't you take me to...FunkyTown?