CUPCAKE: My tricorder is showing signs of a creature lurking in the engine room...part human...part porcine...and part ursine...
The Missing Line of Dialog that Destroyed Star Trek XI
- Thread starter Samuel T. Cogley
- Start date
Space Al Gore: See! I told you guys! It's Space Homo ursidae porcinus! We need to flood the engine room with radiation and kill everything in it for the sake of the Federation. I'm being super serial, you guys! Excelsior, beam me up, woosh!
CUPCAKE: Then I won't even MENTION the Christmas Woodland Critters, sir...
We pan out to see Cartman reading reading a book:
Cartman: And then Captain Kirk saved the day by transporting space man-bear-pig and the woodland critters into the black hole. They returned to earth and everyone celebrated and lived happily ever after. Except for the Space Jews who all died of AIDS two weeks later. The end.
Kyle: God dammit Cartman! This whole movie was just meant to demonize Space Jews, wasn't it?!
Checov: May I have your atention please. Kyles mom is a b..h!
SULU: Mr. Hat says all you bitches are space jockeys.
NERO: Kirk, I am your father.
KIRK: Noooooooooooooooooo. [and throughout the rest of the film] Spock... why didn't you tell me?
KIRK: Noooooooooooooooooo. [and throughout the rest of the film] Spock... why didn't you tell me?
Kirk: So who wants to go to the Galactic Barrier, I mean what's the worst that could happen?
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Kirk: "Any of you assholes know where the fuck Shell Beach is?"
Entire cast: "Fooled you motherf*****s! The REAL Star Trek XI opens spring 2012! You actually thought the reboot would be nothing but a shallow SFX popcorn muncher?! What a bunch of dumbasses!"
*The Enterprise escapes the black hole*
Sulu: "Course and heading, Captain?"
Kirk: "Second star to the right... and straight on till morning."'
*The Enterprise flies right back into the black hole*
Sulu: "Course and heading, Captain?"
Kirk: "Second star to the right... and straight on till morning."'
*The Enterprise flies right back into the black hole*
ROBAU: Stop saying my head looks like a circumcised penis, Mr. Kirk. Or you're going out the closest airlock.
Sarek, after Spock's birth: "(sigh) He's so human. Put him back inside!"
SAREK(after Spock's birth): I hope this day doesn't get misinterpreted and shown differently in a far LESS successful movie in the franchise.
Spock: "The Vulcan Science Academy? Are you serious, Father? The last thing I want is to spend four more years in school. I want to have adventures and explore the stars!"
Sarek: "No."
Spock: "Screw you, dad! I'm 18 and you can't tell me what to do anymore! Tomorrow I'm getting on the first ship to Earth and I'm enlisting in starfleet!"
Amanda: "You do whatever makes you happy, dear. I know you'll be good at anything you choose because you're my son and I'll always love you."
Sarek: "Amanda, shut up! You are not helping."
Sarek: "No."
Spock: "Screw you, dad! I'm 18 and you can't tell me what to do anymore! Tomorrow I'm getting on the first ship to Earth and I'm enlisting in starfleet!"
Amanda: "You do whatever makes you happy, dear. I know you'll be good at anything you choose because you're my son and I'll always love you."
Sarek: "Amanda, shut up! You are not helping."
CHEKOV: Vould dees be a bad time to admit my hair ees all natural?
Darth Nero: "What about my wife and unborn child? Are they safe? Are they alright?"
Emperor Spock: "It appears that in your quest for revenge you killed them."
Darth Nero: "Noooooooooooooo!"
Emperor Spock: "It appears that in your quest for revenge you killed them."
Darth Nero: "Noooooooooooooo!"
Kirk, first thing as captain: (singing) I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts...
