Young women and older men....

[opali]

But something else has caught my attention for awhile now. Both from afar and locally what is up with so many young women in their twenties, particularly lower twenties, trying to connect with an older man? And by older I mean significantly older.
I'm old enough to be these girls' father. I don't feel we could possibly (well, likely) have enough in common. And I'm sure this isn't uncommon either and many similarly aged guys are getting approached in this way.

Whether or not you have enough in common hinges on each woman, and you might be surprised by what you find out.
This generation of young women have a wealth of knowledge about the last fifty years (and more) just at their fingertips: books, tv shows, movies, worldwide perspectives on various political regimes and wars, access to vast cultural opinions...the generation gap is not the same gap that it was even when you were in your early twenties.
My thought on it also is that in general they don't feel the same stigma that has for a long time been associated with a younger woman/older man relationship.

I agree with Sbk1234 when he said that there are always exceptions and exceptional people. Hope it works out.

 

[splodenode]

graverobbers

 

[Data Holmes]

This isn't really an oddity, more of a correction. Historically, there has always been an age disparity in the majority of relationships, be it straight or gay. It's only in the last 30 to 40 years that it was forced out by societal mandate, and even then it wasn't frowned upon as a true negative till the turn of the 80's.

Post WWII, and the introduction of the new social construct, the ideal pushed upon kids by their parents was that of the "high school sweetheart" model, that they were to meet and marry someone "your own age" because they didn't need the support structure that came with an older partner for women specifically. This carried over and mutated further with the woman's lib movement, and the concept of "partner with equal" was hammered home, and girls were told that they didn't need a man at all.

Now, faced with a generation of spoiled, immature, man-children in the guys their own age, a creation of the very same new social construct and time frame, they are looking to older men who may have grown out of or totally avoided this phase of modern man.


Of course, this is all simply my humble opinion.

 

[Colonel Green]

The thing is presently I'm corresponding with someone I really like, maybe more than just like, and I'm not really interested in considering other options until I see how this plays out. In a way I'm hoping I don't end up having to consider other options.

I used to have the same problem. I'd develop an interest in a girl and I'd fixate on her to the point that I'd ignore all other prospects. Thankfully, I eventually found a miraculous cure.

I graduated high school.

 

[scotpens]

. . . I always dated various ages, but recently I noticed a lot more attention from 20-somethings again. I don't really blame them...a lot of the 20-something males I see are pretty classless.

And a lot of the 20-something females I see are pretty clueless!

Really, I don't care if a woman is too young to have driven a Studebaker. As long as she knows it was a car.

 

[sidious618]

I'm a 20-year-old guy and I can assure you I'd love to date/have a villianous affair with someone older than me. At least up to 40.

 

[Snaploud]

It's a tough economy. There are a lot of women who want to start a family, and the financially stable guy in his twenties and early thirties is part of a very small group (smaller than in years past).

 

[Punky]

Punky ... let's put some things into perspective.
Numerous males and females end up as immature children despite getting physically older.
It comes down on an individual basis again, but just as you have immature men, you have equally large number of immature women.

As for you having a lot of younger men hitting on you ... well, I would suggest not to really assume anything.
Sometimes they are attracted to you because that's how they're wired, and 'passing interest' is not really part of the equation (note I said 'sometimes').

Ok, lets put things into perspective shall we. If you noticed my earlier post you will see that I said most men do not ever mature. I did not say all. My fiance' is very mature and he is one month younger than me. Secondly, I agree there are many immature women as well. However, since I am not interested in dating women I did not feel it necessary to include that in my post. I apologize if you took that comment personally.

Finally, I do not ever assume anything. I have a teenage daughter with male friends. I have heard them comment on MILF's on many occasions which is what led me to the MILF comment. So, MY suggestion is to not ASSUME that I come to some of my conclusions based on assumptions.

 

[PhasersOnStun]

I think when people talk "age difference" you need to think about not just years, but "stage of development."

Does anyone really get weirded out by a 70 year old man with a 55 year old woman? Both are "seniors" (although one significantly more senior). Both are more or less at the same stage of development. So those 15 years really don't make a difference.

A 30 year old dating a 15 year old however is a serious offense.

My opinions are probably a bit skewed because my father married my 20+-year younger mother, and I married a 12-year younger woman myself. So age differences in and of themselves only squig me out when one person is underage or the difference is generational (literally someone as young as your children, etc). Other than that, it has everything to do with how much in common the personalities, interests, morals, and so on of the two people are similar.

Bottom line, my mom was 29 and dad was 50 and I'm pretty happy they got together.

 

[Jetfire]

If I am 40, single and a 20 year old wants to be with me...who am I to argue.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I used to oppose young women being with older men, but I've gradually warmed up to the idea.

So you're warming up to the idea as you get older?

Yup, that was my attempt at subtle humor.

 

[Deks]

Punky ... let's put some things into perspective.
Numerous males and females end up as immature children despite getting physically older.
It comes down on an individual basis again, but just as you have immature men, you have equally large number of immature women.

As for you having a lot of younger men hitting on you ... well, I would suggest not to really assume anything.
Sometimes they are attracted to you because that's how they're wired, and 'passing interest' is not really part of the equation (note I said 'sometimes').

Ok, lets put things into perspective shall we. If you noticed my earlier post you will see that I said most men do not ever mature. I did not say all. My fiance' is very mature and he is one month younger than me. Secondly, I agree there are many immature women as well. However, since I am not interested in dating women I did not feel it necessary to include that in my post. I apologize if you took that comment personally.

Finally, I do not ever assume anything. I have a teenage daughter with male friends. I have heard them comment on MILF's on many occasions which is what led me to the MILF comment. So, MY suggestion is to not ASSUME that I come to some of my conclusions based on assumptions.

I didn't mean for my post to come out so abrupt.
It could have been structured better (it was 3:47 am for me, so I apologize).

The line in which you mentioned that younger guys might be interested in you due to the whole 'milf' aspect was what prompted me to say 'do not assume anything', whereas it should have been something like this: 'there might be another reason as to why they might be attracted to you'.
My reply did not mean to suggest I was assuming anything about you, or that you were acting on assumptions alone.

 

[Hermiod]

When I was younger I dated a few older men because I thought they were more mature then men my own age. However, I learned that no matter what the age most men do not ever mature...lol

What's your definition of "mature" ?

I've come across way too many people equate "maturity" with following a script - school, university, job, marriage, mortgage, kids, retirement, death - all with target dates.

Better to be immature, methinks.

 

[Mr Awe]

I used to oppose young women being with older men, but I've gradually warmed up to the idea.

Agree. Year by year, this seems better and better!

Mr Awe

 

[Aragorn]

A 30 year old dating a 15 year old however is a serious offense.

Unless it's a female teacher who is 30 and her male student is 15. Then it's a "love story" that makes magazine covers.

 

[Kestra]

A 30 year old dating a 15 year old however is a serious offense.

Unless it's a female teacher who is 30 and her male student is 15. Then it's a "love story" that makes magazine covers.

No, it's still a serious offense.

 

[Warped9]

I will say that if a girl is 20 and the guy 35-40 then to me that is worth questioning. If she's 30 and he's 45-50 then it may stand a better chance because she's no longer wholly ignorant about life just out of her teens.

I suppose a lot of it is timing.

 

[Kestra]

When I was younger I dated a few older men because I thought they were more mature then men my own age. However, I learned that no matter what the age most men do not ever mature...lol

What's your definition of "mature" ?

I've come across way too many people equate "maturity" with following a script - school, university, job, marriage, mortgage, kids, retirement, death - all with target dates.

Better to be immature, methinks.

I don't think those things necessary equal maturity. But holding down a steady job, being sensible about one's income, etc. all can show a certain type of maturity? Or maybe a sense of responsibility, which someone else finds desirable.

Regarding the original topic, I don't get what the big deal is with age differences. If we're reasonably sure that both people involved can consent to a relationship, the rest is up to them. And it's not that shocking to find some people getting together with such an age difference. Couples come together across all sorts of other differences, why not age? Attraction can work in strange ways and if it works, it works.

 

[PhasersOnStun]

A 30 year old dating a 15 year old however is a serious offense.

Unless it's a female teacher who is 30 and her male student is 15. Then it's a "love story" that makes magazine covers.

No, it's still a serious offense.

When I think on the news coverage of 30 year old teachers who dated (or in one case I remember, ran state lines) with a minor, it was uniformly reported as a Bad Thing™ not a normal relationship.

An amusing story along those lines, however; I taught English at a private middle school through high school in 2001, when I was 31. One of the questions I was asked in my second interview was what would I do if one of the girls became attracted to me. This was not uncommon if you were a young looking male teacher of older teens, but the young women were never asked anything like this. That year, one of those stories broke, and we younger male teachers jokingly pointed at our female counterparts saying "See! It's not just men! "

 

[Mike Farley]

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm 42, my wife is 38. I'm considering when she turns 40 I'll trade her in for two 20s...

If you can manage it you should take the two 20's but keep the 40 for messing around on the weekends!