Young women and older men....

[Warped9]

As some of you might know I began corresponding with someone from another country online for the past couple of months. In fact I've been corresponding with a few different women online from another country and locally.

But something else has caught my attention for awhile now. Both from afar and locally what is up with so many young women in their twenties, particularly lower twenties, trying to connect with an older man? And by older I mean significantly older.

I'm 51 now and I never saw this kind of attention when I actually was in my twenties or thirties. Now from all over Canada, the U.S. and abroad I'm getting messaged by numerous young women, at least a few every day. I'm sure at least some of them are scammers although I'm equally sure some may be sincere. But what the hell is going on?

I'm old enough to be these girls' father. I don't feel we could possibly (well, likely) have enough in common. And I'm sure this isn't uncommon either and many similarly aged guys are getting approached in this way.

What gives? Are many older women getting approached by scores of younger guys?

 

[Nerdius Maximus]

Financial stability, sexual experience, daddy issues...Who knows?

 

[Warped9]

I should note that no matter how cute they may be I just hit the delete button.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I'm probably not the best person to answer since in the other recent thread on this issue I seemed to disagree with the majority, but I'll comment anyway. I really don't know why younger women would be interested in such older men. I am 24 and while I could see dating someone who was about 30, anything older than that just doesn't feel right to me. There must be some appeal if young women keep contacting older men, but I certainly don't understand it, beyond the obvious and simple answers like they think you can provide them with money. I'd like to think that most women aren't entirely interested in that but really I can only speak for myself. I prefer to date people my own age.

 

[Emher]

I don't know man, but it gives me hope for the future. The present is terrible in this regard.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I used to oppose young women being with older men, but I've gradually warmed up to the idea.

 

[USS Triumphant]

My rule of thumb is that the age difference should not exceed that which would allow one party to, by biology, be the parent of the other. So women shouldn't be more than about 10 years older, or men more than about 12-13 years older.

Not that I would ever try to see this rule enforced, mind you. I just consider it my right to think it is a bad idea to violate it.

As to these young ladies' reasons, I would add to Nerdius Maximus's pretty good list the possibilities of a desire for more equal emotional maturity with their partner. And golddigging.

 

[T'Girl]

I should note that no matter how cute they may be I just hit the delete button.

You do realize that when you hit the delete button, it doesn't just remove them from your screen, it actually deletes these young women from existence.

YOU DO KNOW THIS, RIGHT !!!!
----------------------------
I've gone out with plenty of dates who were a quarter of a century older than I. Usual not over aged children and they know how to slow dance. Last summer I date a boy who was 17, so it works both ways I guess.

 

[sbk1234]

^^^Ha. Seriously, people are all individuals. I agree that the odds of a large age difference working are probably real low, due to life experience differences and so on, all it would take would be one exceptional person to make such a relationship possible.
Don't hit delete too quickly.

 

[Aragorn]

I used to oppose young women being with older men, but I've gradually warmed up to the idea.

So you're warming up to the idea as you get older?

 

[Colonel Midnight]

Maybe there's hope for an Certifiable Old F$rt like me yet...

Cheers,
-CM-

 

[freak]

I don't particularly like dating older men..however our former mechanic seems to love to be attached to younger women. And most of them think he's attractive!!!

 

[Jetfire]

I used to oppose young women being with older men, but I've gradually warmed up to the idea.

So you're warming up to the idea as you get older?

When I was in my early 20's I was dating older women...like 45-50. It was great then...I never considered dating younger women...I too have warmed up to the idea though now I am 32. 21-22 isn't so bad for someone my age I think.

 

[RAMA]

I don't particularly like dating older men..however our former mechanic seems to love to be attached to younger women. And most of them think he's attractive!!!

I always dated various ages, but recently I noticed a lot more attention from 20-somethings again. I don't really blame them...a lot of the 20-something males I see are pretty classless. Obviously since I am married don't partake.

RAMA

 

[Deks]

Financial stability, sexual experience, daddy issues...Who knows?

And out of those first 3 you stated, I have to ask the following:
generalize much (not that I'm trying to provoke/attack you btw)?

Seriously ... not every young person will have an agenda (aside than being sexually and/or emotionally attracted) to (significantly) older people.

Life experiences are subjective.
Numerous young individuals accumulate life experiences that are practically comparable to the ones of adults in more ways than one ... and sometimes they do not.
Point being, it happens.

As a gay man, I find myself connecting much better to men roughly twice my age.
Always have actually (as I find men my own age -in their late 20ies-to often be unappealing), and I can tell you I haven't experienced any aspects during my childhood that could have contributed to this (as some people like to attribute some kind of 'problems' in people's upbringing to be responsible for them being attracted to younger or older people) ... it's simply how I'm wired.
I don't have 'daddy issues' or look for men who can provide for me.
I'm just looking for men who share similar interests and I find them sexually compatible.

Why are young people who like older people looked upon as an 'oddity' and labelled as if something is 'wrong' with them?
It's not a novelty, or anything of the sort.

 

[data_lover]

back when i was pre-married, i stayed around 10 years older as my limit and never dated anyone younger. too much younger and the life experience bit becomes an issue, too much older and you don't have a common frame of reference imo.

 

[Punky]

When I was younger I dated a few older men because I thought they were more mature then men my own age. However, I learned that no matter what the age most men do not ever mature...lol

I do have A LOT of younger guys hit on me now. I am 38 and I guess it is that whole MILF thing that intrigues them .

 

[Deks]

Punky ... let's put some things into perspective.
Numerous males and females end up as immature children despite getting physically older.
It comes down on an individual basis again, but just as you have immature men, you have equally large number of immature women.

As for you having a lot of younger men hitting on you ... well, I would suggest not to really assume anything.
Sometimes they are attracted to you because that's how they're wired, and 'passing interest' is not really part of the equation (note I said 'sometimes').

 

[Warped9]

^^^Ha. Seriously, people are all individuals. I agree that the odds of a large age difference working are probably real low, due to life experience differences and so on, all it would take would be one exceptional person to make such a relationship possible.
Don't hit delete too quickly.

The thing is presently I'm corresponding with someone I really like, maybe more than just like, and I'm not really interested in considering other options until I see how this plays out. In a way I'm hoping I don't end up having to consider other options.

 

[sbk1234]

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm 42, my wife is 38. I'm considering when she turns 40 I'll trade her in for two 20s...