Another guy kissed my girlfriend.

[Amaris]

If the incident at work happened, she needs to file a sexual harassment incident report.
Other than that, don't get involved unless she needs you to get involved. This guy is practically craving attention, and he wants to make it known that he's challenging you. Show him how unimportant he is by ignoring him.

 

[Jetfire]

If the incident at work happened, she needs to file a sexual harassment incident report.
Other than that, don't get involved unless she needs you to get involved. This guy is practically craving attention, and he wants to make it known that he's challenging you. Show him how unimportant he is by ignoring him.

I am afraid the his girlfriend might not be doing enough to stop this...if she doesn't like this guy that way, she could be flattered by the attention and if she doesn't bring this up at work with superiors then she is playing a game with FC...and if FC does do something about it...he looks like the bad guy even though his concerns are warranted...which is BS...but that is how things seem to happen. This is on his girlfriend to take the necessary steps do something about this if she doesn't like what this guy is doing.

 

[Yoda]

Keep an eye on the situation with dude-muffin, but keep a closer eye on the girlfriend. Lots of red flags that others have been pointing out. You sound just a little too happy with your girlfriend in general... whenever I've seen that kind of blind trust happy obliviousness amongst my friends it has always ended in a horrible blindside followed by months of misery.

It does sound like the dude is crossing some lines, so you might want to pull him aside and tell him to back the fuck off. Whether your girlfriend'll admit it or not, showing a little manliness'll probably make the ol' ovaries tingle.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

I am still skeptical about the reasoning behind her going to his house still and am not exactly satisfied with her answer yet. I'm still chalking it up to her trusting nature and a bit of naivety thrown in...I'll just have to see how things play out.

He texted her this morning. She's working with him today, and oh boy, is he excited.

"Yay! Christine is working with me today!"

What a douche.

 

[Trekker4747]

Seriously, this guy is starting to sound like a sex-offender.

He needs to be stopped.

She needs to talk to their boss and let him know what's going on, or at least tell the guy to back off or she's going to do that.

 

[sidious618]

Seriously, this guy is starting to sound like a sex-offender.

Not really, no. Sex offenders don't "sound" like anything. The guys sounds desperate, possibly possessive but not a sex offender.

 

[ST-One]

Go up to the guy and tell him off. But the fear of God in him through words, while making no specific threats. Tell him to back-off and leave your girl alone.

Yes, that's the way.
You have to defend the claim to your piece of meat.

He should do nothing unless she wants him to.

 

[Jetfire]

This guy is pretty smart though, he is doing his best not to alienate the girl, but he is bashing the boyfriend knowing she is going to tell him...which will just make FCmore and more upset...trying to ruin their relationship.

This guy sounds like a desperate loser, I am shocked any girl would put up with this...but they always seem to do.

[edit] FC, she really needs to not keep indulging this guy if she has interest in him.

 

[sidious618]

I'm pretty sure kissing her without invitation and threatening to never be her friend is fairly alienating.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Go up to the guy and tell him off. But the fear of God in him through words, while making no specific threats. Tell him to back-off and leave your girl alone.

Yes, that's the way.
You have to defend the claim to your piece of meat.

He should do nothing unless she wants him to.

That's the plan. While I have an overwhelming urge to make the guy eat a curb, I know any sort of confrontation at this point would just make things worse for her. She does want me to come in, preferably when he's there.

If he's trying to drive us apart and ruin our relationship he's doing a pretty terrible job. Nothing he's done has really made me mad at her...just him. If anything this sort of thing tends to make a couple stronger.

 

[QCzar]

Seriously, this guy is starting to sound like a sex-offender.

He needs to be stopped.

Trekker, what does a sex offender sound like? Can you give me a link to any clinical reports or research that tells us what a sex offender sounds like? We can't be too careful, you know.

Also, I'd suggest you do a search on "Kern County, California". For clarity, you know?

The only thing this guy sounds like to me is a lech. Not exactly the same thing as a sex offender (in order to be a sex offender you have to commit a sexual offense...pretty elementary stuff, that), but then I'm obviously missing something that is abundantly clear to Trekker4747.

 

[Jetfire]

I'm pretty sure kissing her without invitation and threatening to never be her friend is fairly alienating.

I would think so...but others seem to think he is just taking a shot.

I just hope she does the smart thing and speak with a superior about this...before it get out of hand.

 

[Saul]

He took her to his room supposedly to show her his computer (she's a bit of a tech geek like myself).

Women are so naive. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book for a guy to use.
Other variations of this include "Wanna see my Vaction Photos?" "wanna watch a DVD?" or for those who can't be bothered just "Wanna see my room?".

Girl+Guy alone in a room means somethings gonna happen. Or did she not pick up on the vibe that he liked her when they worked together and possibly flirted.

Guys try to steal other guys girls sometimes. That's a fact of life. It's not their fault, well, I mean they try but your gf put herself in a situation that was altogether too cozy (really, his room, please). This is her fault too. Absolutly the guy is a dick for doing shit like that but he was given the chance to. Forget the guy, focus on the girl not getting into this type of situation. Good thing nothing more serious happened.

 

[sidious618]

Girl+Guy alone in a room means somethings gonna happen.

Bullshit. Some people really are just friends.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Seriously, this guy is starting to sound like a sex-offender.

Not really, no. Sex offenders don't "sound" like anything. The guys sounds desperate, possibly possessive but not a sex offender.

If my lengthy posts on this upthread didn't convince them of the dangers of relating to people as offenders before an offense has taken place, nothing you say now will get through.

 

[SiorX]

Guys try to steal other guys girls sometimes. That's a fact of life. It's not their fault, well, I mean they try but your gf put herself in a situation that was altogether too cozy (really, his room, please). This is her fault too. Absolutly the guy is a dick for doing shit like that but he was given the chance to. Forget the guy, focus on the girl not getting into this type of situation. Good thing nothing more serious happened.

Beware! Beware! At any moment the Unstoppable Sentient Penis may take control of the higher brain function.

 

[CaptainStoner]

The manly thing to do is to be in control of oneself, which is sometimes counter-intuitive. Although this could involve a necessity for violence, this is unlikely. But there is some danger in the behavior that occured at the co-worker's house. It might be fairly innocent, but judging by the story, by the insistence of "pursuing what I want" despite her simple declaration of not being available sounds a bit molestor-esque to me.
That guy will most likely stop, but if he continues this behavior, or escalates it, the boyfriend has to be on his game to protect her and support her, and flying off the handle, possibly getting arrested for assualt, is counter-productive. You must be the Jedi Master. If striking the other person is warranted, it had better be. But you retain a lot more power by being able to confront without losing control.
She should also take some self-defense training. Not to live in fear but to feel more secure in the friendly person that she is.

 

[Rii]

Guys try to steal other guys girls sometimes. That's a fact of life. It's not their fault, well, I mean they try but your gf put herself in a situation that was altogether too cozy (really, his room, please). This is her fault too. Absolutly the guy is a dick for doing shit like that but he was given the chance to. Forget the guy, focus on the girl not getting into this type of situation. Good thing nothing more serious happened.

Beware! Beware! At any moment the Unstoppable Sentient Penis may take control of the higher brain function.

My penis says that you know too much.

 

[Danoz]

Your feelings are pretty normal, but relax. She told you the entire situation-- you trust her, and she's got it under control. They don't have to be "friends" to work together. Do your best to let her know that you trust her and don't let this situation drive a wedge between you and her.

The guy sounds like a complete idiot anyway.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

The manly thing to do is to be in control of oneself, which is sometimes counter-intuitive. Although this could involve a necessity for violence, this is unlikely. But there is some danger in the behavior that occured at the co-worker's house. It might be fairly innocent, but judging by the story, by the insistence of "pursuing what I want" despite her simple declaration of not being available sounds a bit molestor-esque to me.
That guy will most likely stop, but if he continues this behavior, or escalates it, the boyfriend has to be on his game to protect her and support her, and flying off the handle, possibly getting arrested for assualt, is counter-productive. You must be the Jedi Master. If striking the other person is warranted, it had better be. But you retain a lot more power by being able to confront without losing control.
She should also take some self-defense training. Not to live in fear but to feel more secure in the friendly person that she is.

I've actually been starting to show her a few different moves for self defense. I studied traditional Okinawan Uechi-Ryu karate for over 10 years and hold a 2nd degree black belt rank as well as some instructor experience, so I've been able to show her a thing or two. I also got her a can of keychain pepper spray a while back when she started working closing shifts.

I'll be keeping a close eye on this dude. She has no problem with me reading her text messages from him or being in the room if she has to talk to him (he called the other day to ask something about work since he's a noob) so I have plenty of access to find out what he's up to. I think actually seeing him face to face might give me a sense of who he is too. I completely foresee this guy trying to act like he's my best bud or something. Either that, or he'll be a coward and avoid me at all costs. We'll see.