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I came out. Yay me.

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It IS a big hurdle though. No matter how well you know someone, you don't know how they are going to react to such information. You hope that they don't care but there are too many people out there that do and would end friendships because of that. I'm glad it all worked out for the OP; it doesn't always.

The reason why i didn't come out in HS was because i heard all the talk that the other guys would say and yeah, i didn't want any part of that.
Oh yeah. My brother told me that many of his friends who came out lost not only friends but their families. Sad.
 
Good for you! It's great that you have such a good friend. :techman:

I have a very close friend that I'm waiting for to have the same conversation with me. I hope I'm half as supportive as your friend. He's either a closeted gay or asexual. The man's 27 years old and has only ever shown interest in one or two unattainable celebrity women.

If that's all you have to go by, then he isn't necessarily gay or asexual. I mean, subtract one year off that age and that sentence would describe me perfectly, yet I am 100% straight. Not all heterosexuals flaunt it.
 
And some people just don't talk about it. My sister was convinced I was a lesbian until I started dating someone. She didn't understand that I was just really picky and had no interest in dating casually or going to dances and things like that in school.
 
Congratulations on coming out! I first came out to my best friend as well. They always seem to have the funniest things to say; We were in gym and he stepped out to get a drink so I cornered him at the water fountain and told him I was gay and he just stopped for a second and said, "I suppose I should stop trying to find you a girlfriend...". Anyways, you're lucky to have a good friend. :)

Welcome to the TBBS Gay Club!

I still think we need to start our own Facebook page. We can call it "Moes of the TBBS" or something like that. :bolian:
I'm in! As long as our tagline can be "We don't like THE WOMEN!" :lol:
 
Welcome! Glad to have you on the team. :bolian: You should be receiving your membership card in the next few weeks.

The council is preparing the initiation proceedings as we speak... ;)


When I came out, it was out of annoyance: my little brother kept raving on and on about how finally have to find a girlfriend. He wouldn't shut up and got so on my nerves that I just told him 'I'm gay'.
Yeah, he was silent after that :D
 
And some people just don't talk about it. My sister was convinced I was a lesbian until I started dating someone. She didn't understand that I was just really picky and had no interest in dating casually or going to dances and things like that in school.

Yep. My extended family is still convinced I'm gay, because I'm not married or have anyone pregnant. Most of my family members were married around the ages of 17-20, with my brother getting married at 19. I am currently the oldest single (as in never married) person in the family, so I must be gay.
 
While I'm of course pleased you have stopped hiding, I must say I'm concerned and upset you felt the need to hide it, and that you should feel worried about telling someone- and your best friend of all people! It's your sexuality, my friend, it should be no more a deal than your hair colour or whether you're left or right handed. When people in my community at age 16 or so said "I'm gay" it was something completely casual. I'm worried that you seem to think it's normal or natural to be concerned, even about telling your best friend. :(

And I'm worried that every other response seems to also accept this terrible nervousness as well, as though it's a massive hurdle.

It was more of a case of him being the first person Ive told and moreso admitting it to myself. I can't see how anyone could not be nervous at the thought of losing someone who is close to them?
In an ideal world, yeah, it would be great if everyone loved everyone regardless of sexuality, but life being what it is, I risked losing someone who is a very important in my life. The thought that, like many others, he would react badly to my sexuality, to be honest, scared the crap out of me.



ALSO, thank you to all who have shown support. I honestly, was not expecting such a response. It is seriously like such a massive weight has been lifted. After 25 years of crawling, im finally beginning to walk. Theres no fascade anymore. He's even pointing out good looking guys in the street for me. The sign of a true friend. ;)
 
Congrats

Yesterday I watched a TV show where two men were set up on a date together and I honestly can't see what two men could possibly find interesting in each other, but they did seem happy.

RAMA
 
He was so supportive, asking me questions, telling me that he nows feel closer and our friendship stronger because I was being honest and that nothing would ever change. At that point I started bawling like a little girl. He came up and hugged me for a good 10 minutes. Then told me to 'man up and stop being a pussy'.

:lol: What a true friend!

Hes already started with the gentle gay jokes, but hes been so incredibly awesome and i feel so relieved to have finally told someone. A massive weight feels like it has just been magically removed. It wasn't an easy experience, and I am fortunate to have such a fantastic friend, but the reward was well worth it.

Anywho. Back to you normal reading.

I have a gay friend who did the same thing when he came out. Thought for certain I'd hate him, etc but was very relieved to have it all out there. He cracks up at a line I stole from SouthPark when I call him a "gay homosexual". He also told me that years ago, when he and other gay friends visited and partied in Dallas, they never "walked straight" down the road -- it was always "gaily forward". :lol:
 
I have a very close friend that I'm waiting for to have the same conversation with me. I hope I'm half as supportive as your friend. He's either a closeted gay or asexual. The man's 27 years old and has only ever shown interest in one or two unattainable celebrity women.

If that's all you have to go by, then he isn't necessarily gay or asexual. I mean, subtract one year off that age and that sentence would describe me perfectly, yet I am 100% straight. Not all heterosexuals flaunt it.

No damnit, he must be categorized in to one of 5 boxes prepared by professional survey-writers!

I think it's a very real possibility that it's because he's the kind of guy that doesn't half-ass anything and he's not ready to share his life with someone at this point.
 
I am currently the oldest single (as in never married) person in the family, so I must be gay.
I'm, I think, the third oldest single person in my family and I'm not Gay. I am happy, though.
 
And some people just don't talk about it. My sister was convinced I was a lesbian until I started dating someone. She didn't understand that I was just really picky and had no interest in dating casually or going to dances and things like that in school.

Yep. My extended family is still convinced I'm gay, because I'm not married or have anyone pregnant. Most of my family members were married around the ages of 17-20, with my brother getting married at 19. I am currently the oldest single (as in never married) person in the family, so I must be gay.


Ironically, I had sort of the reverse experience. I was a "nerd" all through Jr. High and High School, and everyone THOUGHT I was gay ... until one of my closest female friends got pregnant. The father shunned her and started spreading scurrilous rumors about her and pretty much everyone who had previously been close to her, with very few exceptions, abandoned her. The only male exception was me. I didn't know it at the time, but rumors began spreading that I was the father. For a brief period I got a peek into "the other world": what it was like to be popular (yes, believe it or not, where I grew up to be straight and having gotten a girl pregnant was thought a badge of honor :rolleyes:). Suddenly, the jocks and popular girls would deign to speak to me, the jokes and ridicule ceased, I was invited to parties!!!! It was pretty amazing, and all the more so because I had no idea why things had changed.

It was like being in my own personal MU for awhile there. :lol:

But ..., seriously .... :vulcan:

While I'm of course pleased you have stopped hiding, I must say I'm concerned and upset you felt the need to hide it, and that you should feel worried about telling someone- and your best friend of all people! It's your sexuality, my friend, it should be no more a deal than your hair colour or whether you're left or right handed. When people in my community at age 16 or so said "I'm gay" it was something completely casual. I'm worried that you seem to think it's normal or natural to be concerned, even about telling your best friend. :(

And I'm worried that every other response seems to also accept this terrible nervousness as well, as though it's a massive hurdle.

It was more of a case of him being the first person Ive told and moreso admitting it to myself. I can't see how anyone could not be nervous at the thought of losing someone who is close to them?
In an ideal world, yeah, it would be great if everyone loved everyone regardless of sexuality, but life being what it is, I risked losing someone who is a very important in my life. The thought that, like many others, he would react badly to my sexuality, to be honest, scared the crap out of me.



ALSO, thank you to all who have shown support. I honestly, was not expecting such a response. It is seriously like such a massive weight has been lifted. After 25 years of crawling, im finally beginning to walk. Theres no fascade anymore. He's even pointing out good looking guys in the street for me. The sign of a true friend. ;)

I was 25 when I came out, too, so know what it's like to carry that burden; and how difficult it is to tell those closest to you.

Good on ya! It's all uphill from here. :bolian:
I am currently the oldest single (as in never married) person in the family, so I must be gay.
I'm, I think, the third oldest single person in my family and I'm not Gay. I am happy, though.

:lol: Love it! :bolian:
 
I am currently the oldest single (as in never married) person in the family, so I must be gay.
I'm, I think, the third oldest single person in my family and I'm not Gay. I am happy, though.

In my family, they would think you were gay. It's annoying because:

1) They use 'gay' as the dirtiest slur they can think of, and
2) It's none of their business but they crack jokes about it anyway.

I have several cousins who are gay, and they're pretty much ignored unless we're all at a family reunion, and then they get asked uncomfortable questions by some. The rest just look at them from sidelong glances.

It took me years to get my mother to see gay people as something other than sinners. She's a good hearted woman, but she was just so conditioned. Well, after much work, she started talking to one of my cousins who lives in New York and is in a relationship. She ended up loving their conversations and also thinks the world of my cousin's husband. It gratifies me on many levels to see that kind of transition take place.
 
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