Holidays Spending & Anxiety

[Gryffindorian]

Nothing gives me more anxiety around Christmastime than the sense of obligatory gift-giving (or at least my perception of it). I have a lot of family members, friends, and good co-workers whom I want to "reward" every year. We live in such hard economic times, and even I've gone through some challenges this past year.

So anyway, to help ease my anxiety, I've developed a few guidelines for gift-giving during the holidays.

1. While it's important to factor in one's budget, it's equally important to realize that one should never, ever feel obligated to buy gifts for people.
2. In reference to #1, give gifts only to family, friends, or people with whom you normally exchange presents.
3. If a co-worker, neighbor, or an acquaintance did a special favor for you this year or has been extra nice, then you may opt to give him/her a "thank-you" gift, but do not expect anything in return. Their doing you a favor is your own reward.
4. In reference to #1 and #2, simplify your list of recipients. Get rid of "freeloaders." If you gave someone something nice last year and you didn't get anything in return, then take him/her off your list.

It's funny. I have a work friend whom I gave a "little something" last year. It wasn't much, and I didn't expect anything in return (and I wasn't disappointed, either). She said she was a little bit strapped for cash (it seems that's always the case with her anyway), and I told her not to worry about it. Then later I found out that she spent a whole week in Las Vegas and celebrated New Year's Eve there with her husband. Strapped for cash? Tell me, Kim, which hotel did you stay in? Wynn or the Bellagio? 'Nuff said.

Any thoughts?

EDIT: I meant to type "strapped for cash," not strapped on cash. I would like to have cash strapped on me!

 

[sidious618]

I only buy presents for relatives I like.

I only bought one present for a relative.

 

[Gryffindorian]

You're lucky. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a long list. I spend on average $300 for friends and co-workers and about $500 for family members.

EDIT:

Well, I'm sure it's more than that. More than a dozen friends with whom I exchange presents, nine nephews and nieces, four sisters, one brother, Mom and Dad. But I really don't mind. I should be focusing on those who really matter.

 

[Amaris]

When I was employed, I use to lavish gifts on my family, spending whole checks and staving off the utilities for an extra week so I could use that money to buy gifts. This year, my grand total spending will be $125 for everybody. That's about $1100 less than a few years ago. This year I got the following:

Dad - RC Ford F150 racing truck (he likes RC cars...as long as he doesn't sell it)
Mom - Lighted Makeup Mirror (she's always wanted one)
Brother & Sister in Law - $25 Amazon.com Gift Card (each)
Niece - Nothing this year (she's 3 and believe me, she won't notice. I can't afford the kind of gifts my brother buys for her anyway. She's loaded.)
Best Friend A: $15 iTunes Gift Card (he has an iPod)
Best Friend B: $15 Target Gift Card

That's everyone. It's the best I can do this year. For someone likes me who loves to buy gifts for people, it sucks. I don't do it to buy love, I do it because I want to do it, and yeah there's a lot of pressure, but it's of my own making.

J.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Seeing as we generally don't celebrate Christmas like others do, we are doing the same as what we did last year: each member of our family buying something family-orientated to contribute to the Xmas feast "pot".

I might do the same thing as last year and get some expensive biscuits from M&S. Makes a change from Quality Street chocolates.

 

[Kestra]

It's funny. I have a work friend whom I gave a "little something" last year. It wasn't much, and I didn't expect anything in return (and I wasn't disappointed, either). She said she was a little bit strapped on cash (it seems that's always the case with her anyway), and I told her not to worry about it. Then later I found out that she spent a whole week in Las Vegas and celebrated New Year's Eve there with her husband. Strapped on cash? Tell me, Kim, which hotel did you stay in? Wynn or the Bellagio? 'Nuff said.

Any thoughts?

My brother-in-law and his wife are planning to spend a week in Vegas in the spring. They've been saving up for it for ages. They work really hard, more hours than my husband or I, but money's tight for them. I admire their work ethic, the way they are trying to be responsible and saving for one week of luxury as opposed to numerous luxury items, and I'm glad they're going to have that week to relax because they deserve it.

For my part, I always have to keep myself under control in this season because I love giving presents and like having excuses to do so.

 

[Warp Coil]

I'm definitely trying to streamline things a bit, but in a way that people may not notice. I'll still buy gifts for my family, but perhaps the gifts might be a little cheaper, or maybe I was able to take advantage of a coupon or unused gift card to help purchase things and keep expenses down. I wouldn't call myself strapped for cash, but I have had a lot of expenses to deal with over the last couple of weeks - tuition for spring classes, a weekend trip to NYC, and now a set of new tires for the car. Now I get to pay for Christmas presents on top of all that. What fun.

 

[Mallory]

It's going to be a lean Christmas at my house this year. Only my immediate family will be exchanging gifts (sorry Mom) and even those are going to be relatively inexpensive. It's just been one of those years.

 

[auntiehill]

I have a fairly long list of people to buy for, but not as long as it could be. When there are couples or families involved, we usually get a "family gift" to make it simpler.

My list this year is:

My Mom
My Dad
My Mother in Law
My oldest sister
My nephew
My other sister, the middle child
Her husband--the jerk
My twin nieces and the new baby girl
My best friend and her husband
My hubby's boss's wife (we're friends)
A family friend--single woman in her 50s
My hubby's crazy-ass sister and her family (I let him pick out the gifts for the parents and I pick out the gifts for the kids. This year, they'll probably get gift cards b/c they won't tell us what they want)
Also picked up something for a friend's teenage daughter (as she has no mother figure in her life)

I start shopping in October to spread out the expenses, and most people got a gift that was 30 dollars or less. I love buying gifts because it makes me happy to express my feelings for others. I like trying to figure out what people will like.

We've had a pretty decent year, so my spending hasn't changed much.

 

[Gryffindorian]

When I was employed, I use to lavish gifts on my family, spending whole checks and staving off the utilities for an extra week so I could use that money to buy gifts. This year, my grand total spending will be $125 for everybody. That's about $1100 less than a few years ago. This year I got the following:

Dad - RC Ford F150 racing truck (he likes RC cars...as long as he doesn't sell it)
Mom - Lighted Makeup Mirror (she's always wanted one)
Brother & Sister in Law - $25 Amazon.com Gift Card (each)
Niece - Nothing this year (she's 3 and believe me, she won't notice. I can't afford the kind of gifts my brother buys for her anyway. She's loaded.)
Best Friend A: $15 iTunes Gift Card (he has an iPod)
Best Friend B: $15 Target Gift Card

That's everyone. It's the best I can do this year. For someone likes me who loves to buy gifts for people, it sucks. I don't do it to buy love, I do it because I want to do it, and yeah there's a lot of pressure, but it's of my own making.

J.

J., you have such a big heart. I'm usually the same with other people, especially my family. While I still have a full-time job, I can't spend as much as I used to years ago. December and February are my most expensive months of the year, and for me it sucks not having credit cards to charge purchases. (On the other hand, it's probably a blessing in disguise.)

 

[Holdfast]

Like Mallory, it's going to be pretty low-key Christmas for me this year.

I'm working Christmas Eve, and then again on the 28th so I'll only be able to visit my dad for the Christmas weekend itself. My best friend is out of town from next week until after the holidays and then I'm off myself to sunnier climes for the first three weeks of January so I'm looking forward to that the most, rather than Christmas itself.

There'll be some parties/get-togethers with colleagues, acquaintances and other assorted ne'er-do-wells in the run-up to Christmas and New Year, but overall, nothing much planned... which of course, has the very pleasant side-effect of saving some cash!

 

[CaptainStoner]

I'm working, but the company I'm in pays the lowest in the field. (there are some things that offset this) This year, it's going into ink for the printer, and photo paper. Making scanned collages of family photos.

I know the anxiety well. There have been years in which that anxiety practically ruined my Yule-tide energy. Not this time around.

 

[Amaris]

When I was employed, I use to lavish gifts on my family, spending whole checks and staving off the utilities for an extra week so I could use that money to buy gifts. This year, my grand total spending will be $125 for everybody. That's about $1100 less than a few years ago. This year I got the following:

Dad - RC Ford F150 racing truck (he likes RC cars...as long as he doesn't sell it)
Mom - Lighted Makeup Mirror (she's always wanted one)
Brother & Sister in Law - $25 Amazon.com Gift Card (each)
Niece - Nothing this year (she's 3 and believe me, she won't notice. I can't afford the kind of gifts my brother buys for her anyway. She's loaded.)
Best Friend A: $15 iTunes Gift Card (he has an iPod)
Best Friend B: $15 Target Gift Card

That's everyone. It's the best I can do this year. For someone likes me who loves to buy gifts for people, it sucks. I don't do it to buy love, I do it because I want to do it, and yeah there's a lot of pressure, but it's of my own making.

J.

J., you have such a big heart. I'm usually the same with other people, especially my family. While I still have a full-time job, I can't spend as much as I used to years ago. December and February are my most expensive months of the year, and for me it sucks not having credit cards to charge purchases. (On the other hand, it's probably a blessing in disguise.)

I know how you feel, I just want to have a good job again.
As for credit cards, you can always use a GreenDot (CashPlus in the UK) money card. You just put money on them and when you run out of money you stop. No interest fees or anything. It's nice to have for my internet purchases.

J.

 

[backstept]

I ain't buying nothing for nobody!

so . . . I'm buying something for somebody?

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

It's a very lean time of the year for me, too. I've paid a lot in medical and moving expenses this year, and my car needed a vital repair this week that set me back over $700.

I'm not buying anything for anyone this year, but I will be making them lots of home baked goodies instead. A few friends will be getting some nice prints from my photographic adventures this year, which will entail some investment in my printer/ink/paper collection that I've needed to make for a while anyway. There is a work gift exchange I agreed to before the car repair became an issue, so my secret santa will be getting something valued at under $25.

I don't feel guilty for a moment about not buying presents. The coercive, lemminglike consumerist frenzy that happens during this time of year really rubs me the wrong way. I value the effort and thought that goes into gift giving, especially a homemade gift - which is why my favorite presents the last two years in a row have been the homemade scarves my boyfriend's grandmother made me. I did not grow up in a christmas-celebrating family, and only started participating in the holiday a few years ago. The expectation that I need to buy things or things need to be bought and given to me is just not really there.

 

[Capn Flukie]

Humbug!, I say! Humbug!

 

[Trippy]

Christmas, in my traditions, is for the children, and it is only them that I buy presents for. So, only my son and his cousins are on my list.

 

[DBR]

I dialed back christmas a few years ago. The greatest gift I could get is to spend time with my friends and family.

Just a few small get togethers to attend in the next two weeks, in which I'll take a host gift; having people over on the 24th and going to my mom's on the 25th and 26th.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Christmas, in my traditions, is for the children, and it is only them that I buy presents for. So, only my son and his cousins are on my list.

Years ago, my siblings and I agreed that we were just going to give presents to the kids (my nephews and nieces) and just get inexpensive gifts. But then I realized there were a lot of friends and co-workers who gave me presents during the holidays, and it was only fair to return the favor. Then I thought if I was going to spend "X" amount of dollars on gifts to co-workers, I might as well give presents to the grown-ups in my family. So the whole idea of giving gifts only to kids was quickly forgotten. Honestly, I don't mind giving Christmas presents as long as I stay within my designated budget. Certainly, there are other occasions during the year, like birthdays, when I can be a little more thoughtful and generous.

 

[royalfan5]

My family has pretty much agreed to abstain from gift giving at Christmas to focus on eating ourselves stupid. We do a couple of grab bags, and that is about it. The children might score a couple of extra presents.