caption contest 46: twin peeks

[Triskelion]

And that's another contest for the alternative history books. Some timelines are better off erased!


And now a shameless Public Service Announcement:

[original image courtesy of ITL]



And now...

First Image:

"His clothes still smell of trailer park and Funyuns..."

Second Image:

"The blond girl in the centre is watching us. I think she's on to us, Brannon"

"Shit, she's seen the script for the finale, hasn't she?!"

(Girl mouths silently: "Trip Dies".)

"Oh God, don't tell, the fans'll kill us!"

Chop 'Shop Award:

[note to posters: due to the great firewall of China I can't usually access images hosted by imageshack, without using my super-slow VPN, so there's a slight chance I might not see your photoshop entries. I usually remember to, but I apologize in advance if I ever overlook any entry. It's also why I can't post in the movie caption contest Oh but I can still see Shatmandu's posts, so a lot of good netnanny brain floss does me! I'm glad I didn't overlook Mach5's entry, it is terrific!]




Congratulations to all the winners!

The Enterprise Forum is proud to present our winners with the new and improved all-purpose alien skull-crushing device and captioning award, The Zephy:

cooleddie74

Deranged Nasat

Mach5

​

Our next contest features publicity stills taken from various episodes. They reminded me of the show Twin Peaks for some unknown reason:

___________________________
Feed your captions every day

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thank you for the win!

 

[Triskelion]

Bakula to Blalock. So much for our cool team caps. Trineer's launched his into the creek and it looks like Montgomery's won't be far behind.

T'Pol: Stop referring to yourself as 'Stinky'!
Reed: Touch-y!

 

[Mach5]

Blalock (to Braga, somewhere behind the camera):
I... FUCKING... QUIT!!!!!!!1111!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Archer to Enterprise. Orion nudist colony located. Photos pending."

Mayweather: "Dayum!"

Reed: "Reed to bridge. It's that time of the decade again."

Archer: "Oh for crying out loud. Just stun her and be done with it."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Director: "Tell me when you guys find an eyeline and we can start shooting this damned scene."

Reed: "T'Pol, you got some 'splaining to do."
T'Pol "Waaaaaahhhhh!"

 

[ChristopherPike]

Jolene: "Will this season never end!?!? SHOOT!"

Dommie: "Yes but think about everything you've got to look forward to next year...

Brannon told me that Mr. Honkytonk will be your main squeeze."

Jolene: "DO IT NOW!"

Archer: "Landing party to Shuttlepod 1. Okay, come on back down for us."

Trip: "Just a sec, Cap'n. I swear those rocks over there are polystrene."

Mayweather: "Sir, did you just see a giant white rabbit go behind that bush?"

Archer: "Oh yeah, right guys. Funny. Like anything that stupid is gonna happen..."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"And these are the cardboard cut-outs, sir. They give EarthLand that family-friendly quality; the kids'll think they're actually there! We've positioned them in life-like postures in a representation of their natural habitat. The two males- with the gold markings- are on sentry duty, while the female- that's her with the distinctive red plumage- squats on her nest".

 

[ChristopherPike]

On his way to the airlock, Malcolm was surprised to receive his Christmas present early...

Trip: (intercom) "First intra-ship beaming sequence completed."

T'Pol: "HEY!"

Trip: (intercom) "Sounds fairly successful."

Reed: "Successful at making my helmet steam up, at any rate."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: That should do it Trip. We're ready to beam up.

TRAVIS: Should we tell T'pol where we hid her clothes?

T'POL: Where are my damned clothes!!!!!????

 

[T'Girl]

*

T'Pol: What part of "I need a fucking orgasm" don't you understand ?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Trip: "Ouch! Geez, man, these jumpsuits really cinch up on your soldiers when you squat in 'em, don't they!"

T'Pol: "For the umpteenth time, no, I did not set off the silicone detectors! And the next one of you assholes who asks me that is going to be wearing his nuts as earrings!"

 

[SFRabid]

Archer: "Commander, where is your cap.
Trip: "I lost it."
Mayweather: cough (Ebay) cough.

T'Pol: "I need chocolate. NOW!"

 

[Alyssa]

Abercrombe & Fitch: Space style!

T'Pol: Daaad, that jerk used all the hot water again

 

[Triskelion]

Mayweather: Well Hoshi's a squatter.
Trip: T'Pol's a little gunshy.
Archer: WTF is up with Phlox's butt? Is that a Denobulan thing?

Reed: What is it girl? Travis fell down a gravity well?

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Nope, still haven't found it yet."

T'Pol: "Found what?"

Archer: "An episode where Travis has more than one line."

Mayweather: "Hey!"

T'Pol: "I'm still looking for an episode where I wear actual clothes!"

 

[Mistral]

CSI : Alpha Centauri

 

[cooleddie74]

Most awkward and controversial J Crew catalog cover ever.

REED:"I'm going to have to ask you to come back to sickbay, Subcommander.

But not before you erotically play with and lick your own nipples.



Now, Subcommander.

DO IT."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Archer to Enterprise.

Nope, there's nothing down here. Just rocks, creeks and other film crews using this location as a convenient and cheap backdrop in lieu of pricey CGI and matte paintings."

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

Abercrombe & Fitch: Space style!