Star Trek XI Caption Contest #1: Shakedown Cruise

[Shatmandu]

Enterprise Board Poster: "These Are The Voyages! <slams Pine's head back> These Are The Voyages! <slams Pine's head back> These Are The Voyages! <slams Pine's head back> ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Shia LaBeouf: "I SHOULD HAVE BEEN GQ'S MAN OF THE YEAR!"

 

[cooleddie74]

QUINTO:"Bastard!!!

Eat my last Pop Tart will ya?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Forgive me.

I thought this was where the Off-Track Betting window was located. I apologize, Jim."

KIRK:"Great.

NOW where do we place our bets on the pink Nimbus III ponies?"

 

[SalvorHardin]

I'M CAPTAIN KIRK !!!!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

Walt and Steve-Dave finally lose it when Chris Pine comes to their comic shop in Red Bank for an autograph session.

 

[M'Sharak]

I'M CAPTAIN KIRK !!!!!!

Nice!

 

[Shatmandu]

Pine: "Shnntnrr. SHNNTNRR. SHNNTNRR!"
JJ Abrams: "Sorry, dude: our safety word must be spoken clearly."

Spock: "Your face. At this point in your life, I'm assuming you've not learned to punch with your buttcheeks?"

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock: "Your face. At this point in your life, I'm assuming you've not learned to punch with your buttcheeks?"

Kirk: Naw, they're still teaching the Archer Method at the Academy.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "I don't understand. We're at the end of the corridor, but there's nothing here. Where is this 'discovery' you spoke of?"

Kirk: "Actually, the discovery I made was that you, pal, are a living, painful reminder of an earlier existance I'll never know and that all the fanboys keep telling me is vastly superior to this new one." *pulls switchblade knife from pocket...*

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock, yelling: "All right, Khan: I brought him here. He's all yours."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Forget peace and love and intergalactic harmony. What's the stock market gonna do?"

Kirk: "Sorry, I didn't realize she was your daughter."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Your coat reminds me of the head of my penis."
Spock: "Focus, please, Jim."

Kirk: "This ... is your ... hiccup ... CURE?"
Spock: "No."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Your coat reminds me of the head of my penis."

Spock: "Odd. Other captioners have likened my coat to Kermit, a bassinet, and pac man. You are therefore telling me that your penis resembles a frog playing a video game in a stroller."

Kirk: "On a good day, yes."

 

[scottydog]

Spock, enraged: "DON'T YOU EVER... GO NEAR.... MY CAT... AGAIN!"

Kirk, gasping: "But... once you go black cat... you never go back...."

 

[cooleddie74]

Chris learns the hard way...don't try to swallow an Extreme Dorito in one gulp.

KIRK:We're friends, huh?

No friend of MINE would lead us to the bowels of Giants Stadium after an apocalyptic blizzard.

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK: NO.

No, wait.

Maybe...

Maybe I'm thinking of the other Delta Vega.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "I hope they have those trough urinals, like at the ballpark. I love those."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:WAIT.

I forgot. It has been so long...I neglected to consider the possibility.

This is May of 2258. Which means this will be a home game for the Mets.

Let's go back.

NOW.

 

[Sector 7]

Nero never did pass that Heimlich Maneuver course, but he tried... he really tried.