TOS Caption Contest #152: Assignment: Mirth

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Fuck no, I'm not changing him again. Little bastard pissed in my mouth. IN MY MOUTH!"

 

[Isis]

A couple of on-set photos showed why Desilu-Paramount decided to ante up for a better laundry service in the late 1960s.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Per Starfleet Regulation, until Dr. McCoy sobers up and can declare the Captain unfit, the Captain is still in charge. Thus, we will throw rattles at the Klingons."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Per Starfleet Regulation, until Dr. McCoy sobers up and can declare the Captain unfit, the Captain is still in charge. Thus, we will throw rattles at the Klingons."

Scotty: "Oh fer Pete's sake. Let's just invoke Regulation 619!"

Sulu: "How?"

*Scotty pinches Baby Jimmy's cheek, Baby Jimmy starts crying*

Spock: "That'll work."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "I know your nipples are sore, but his crying is impacting ship morale, Miss Uhura."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "I'm afraid there is an unfortunate typo on the cover. I have a cold, and with my green Vulcan snot the cover should read Mucus From Outer Space"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Karma police? Arrest this man."

 

[Triskelion]

Guard: Alright, which one of you is going on Hollywood Squares?

Gary 7: Dead cat cam...check.

Scotty: Ach, you've burned out the transtator assembly. I'll have to order parts.

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[Shatmandu]

Nimoy: "Not so fast, young lady: your record purchase price includes a violent romp with yours truly at the Holiday Inn Paramus."

 

[seigezunt]

Gary Seven: Ach geez, Miss Lincoln, I keep telling you not to mix your panties in with my loads. Now all my BVDs are pink.

 

[Rat Boy]

Guard: "Who's Madeline?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Guard: "Pegged slacks? Gotta be Commies." <Shoots both.>

 

[seigezunt]

Spock: You see doctor, the Uke-Cat provides many of the same pleasures as does a tribble: it is soft and produces a pleasing sound. And it provides its own catgut. Quite efficient, though carving out the sound hole presented some problems.

 

[seigezunt]

Spock:[sings, falsetto] "That's where I'll be..."

 

[Hambone]

GUS: That's the worst hat I ever saw. You wear a hat like that, you get a free bowl of soup.

KIRK: Looks good on you, though!

SPOCK: ...

 

[Mistral]

Nimoy: "As soon as I set this album down you'll see what bifurcated looks like."




and thanks for the win!

 

[Hambone]

GARY SEVEN (reading): "For best results, use HDMI cable..." What the hell? The Beta 5 Blu-Ray player doesn't even come with an HDMI cable as standard equipment!

ROBERTA: That's how they getcha.

 

[Gertch]

Gary: "Relax Captain, this might take a couple of days."

 

[Nerys Myk]

NIMOY: Ladies, shoplifting is a serious crime.

BLONDE: We didn't steal that.

BRUNETTTE: Yeah, I saw you slip it into my bag.

BLONDE: This place doesn't even sell records!

NIMOY: Just take the damn record! I need the room in my trunk!