This ladder theory is kind of interesting... I usually don't give much thought to dating my female friends (although I will often have lustful thoughts about the more attractive ones, because, well, I'm a guy 
).
Plus, I've never gotten the sense that any of my female friends were interested in dating me -- well, except a couple of times when they actually came right out and said it. One of them caught me completely off-guard --I had no idea she felt that way (which isn't too surprising, I guess, considering how clueless I can be)-- and although I really liked her, I just didn't feel the same way, so I tried to let her down gently -- ugh, was that ever awkward.
The other made no secret of the fact that she was developing feelings for me, but she was (and I feel kind of bad saying this, but it's the truth) not what I consider attractive, so I just politely let her know that I was not interested.
It's interesting -- on the rare occasion that I've considered asking out one of my friends, my primary concern was that, if she said no, we wouldn't be able to go back to the same friendship we'd previously enjoyed, what with my interest in her being out in the open. Yet I've managed to stay friends with these two women who asked me out -- perhaps my fears were over nothing. But I still don't know... Ladies, how would you react if a male friend asked you out? Would you find things with them to be awkward afterward if you turned him down?
I think I sort of know where RoJo is coming from here:
I can't help but wonder how true that is for me as well. I too have a fair amount of female friends, and I like being their friend. Most of the time, I don't really feel any desire to alter the nature of our relationship (except, in some cases, maybe making it a friends-with-benefits thing, but again, that just goes back to me being male
).
Also, I don't often have crushes either; I can think of a couple mild ones in the past decade, and only one in the past two years that was fairly strong. That's it. I like many of the women I get to know, but rarely do I think, "Yeah, I want to go out with her." I'm usually not thinking "relationship"... which might explain why I've never really been in one. Eh, I don't know -- I suppose some might consider that one of my little foibles.
I hear you... I'm sure that's not the case with all nice guys, but it's certainly felt like that for me a lot of the time.
Oh? Why do you say that?
). Plus, I've never gotten the sense that any of my female friends were interested in dating me -- well, except a couple of times when they actually came right out and said it. One of them caught me completely off-guard --I had no idea she felt that way (which isn't too surprising, I guess, considering how clueless I can be)-- and although I really liked her, I just didn't feel the same way, so I tried to let her down gently -- ugh, was that ever awkward.
The other made no secret of the fact that she was developing feelings for me, but she was (and I feel kind of bad saying this, but it's the truth) not what I consider attractive, so I just politely let her know that I was not interested. It's interesting -- on the rare occasion that I've considered asking out one of my friends, my primary concern was that, if she said no, we wouldn't be able to go back to the same friendship we'd previously enjoyed, what with my interest in her being out in the open. Yet I've managed to stay friends with these two women who asked me out -- perhaps my fears were over nothing. But I still don't know... Ladies, how would you react if a male friend asked you out? Would you find things with them to be awkward afterward if you turned him down?
I think I sort of know where RoJo is coming from here:
I can't help but wonder how true that is for me as well. I too have a fair amount of female friends, and I like being their friend. Most of the time, I don't really feel any desire to alter the nature of our relationship (except, in some cases, maybe making it a friends-with-benefits thing, but again, that just goes back to me being male
).Also, I don't often have crushes either; I can think of a couple mild ones in the past decade, and only one in the past two years that was fairly strong. That's it. I like many of the women I get to know, but rarely do I think, "Yeah, I want to go out with her." I'm usually not thinking "relationship"... which might explain why I've never really been in one. Eh, I don't know -- I suppose some might consider that one of my little foibles.
Being a nice guy can get you tons of respect, but it'll rarely get you laid.
I hear you... I'm sure that's not the case with all nice guys, but it's certainly felt like that for me a lot of the time.
Oh? Why do you say that?
I find this very confusing. Rather jaw-dropping gender stereotyping.
