"Damaged" Women

[Witterquick]

"Damaged" as in you could see they're a little sad for some reason, a bit broken. Something's just not quite right and you can sense it.

Usually for me, it's a big turn off, because they're too much like me. But right now I'm really attracted to an obvious emotional wreck. God help me.

Edit: And it's so sad that I'm sitting here at almost 3 in the morning thinking about her. I've got it bad ...

 

[JonathonWally]

We're all damaged.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I *am* an emotional wreck. So I had better find a woman who isn't!

 

[JonathonWally]

I'm looking for someone whose baggage matches mine!

 

[thestrangequark]

This thread is a big turn off.

Except for this awesome response!

I'm looking for someone whose baggage matches mine!

Very good answer.

 

[Capn Flukie]

We've all got problems. Hell, I'm pretty 'damaged' myself, I hope someone would still want me again someday despite it.

 

[WillsBabe]

This thread is a big turn off.

I agree. Pretty much everyone has issues, or a bit of "life" as my friend and I call it. I don't think that makes anyone "damaged". Male or female.

 

[Kestra]

I'm damaged and broken, I have loads of baggage and it's probably growing by the second, I'm at least a bit off but probably more than that, and I'm not quite right. But I'm also lovely and charming and interesting and worth every minute to someone who can handle me!

And yes, the premise and title of this thread is off-putting.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Nobody gets through life without getting bumped and bruised; everybody has their own set of pain and sadness, whether they publicize it or not. Part of the natural attraction between people is the desire to comfort. So I would say it's more of a turn on.

 

[Amaris]

This is one of those things that do not have a right answer, because we're each so unique and what we carry just as much so. I take people as they are, and that includes whatever baggage they carry. If I can, I do my best to help alleviate the burden such baggage creates.

J.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

If I find a "damaged" woman, do I get a discount at least?

 

[Amaris]

Why does everyone think they're 'damaged'? Man up, you bunch of losers.

Because everyone is affected by choices and consequences in life, that's a given. The issue isn't whether we're damaged (we are, all of us, in some way because it's a part of the human condition), but what we do with that. We can either learn from it and become better persons, or we can let it control us and turn our hearts into bitter shells. That choice is ours to make.

J.

 

[Amaris]

Why does everyone think they're 'damaged'? Man up, you bunch of losers.

Because everyone is affected by choices and consequences in life, that's a given. The issue isn't whether we're damaged (we are, all of us, in some way because it's a part of the human condition), but what we do with that. We can either learn from it and become better persons, or we can let it control us and turn our hearts into bitter shells. That choice is ours to make.

Lamest choice ever.

In what way?

J.

 

[JuanBolio]

Is it alright that I think Marisa Coughlan is really, REALLY hot as the crippled girl in Freddie Got Fingered?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Well, I'm a very "damaged" person, so while I'd sympathise naturally with such a woman, I'm hoping to find someone far more stable who can help me.

 

[Venardhi]

There is a definite difference between 'damaged' and "DAMAGED".

The latter would refer to women with traumatic pasts including things like rape, physical, mental and/or sexual abuse, etc.

I don't mean the term lightly, nor derogatorily(is that a word?) but these women (and yes, there are men out there with the same problems) do often require 'fixing' either from their own efforts over time, from therapy, or long-term help from friends and family. Some people are good for them during this period and others can be very bad for them.

I have found myself often in the position of the friend/lover/surrogate-therapist and it isn't a position I enjoy. I think it is why I am generally a better person to be there than, for example, one of my friends who actively seeks out weak/damaged women and revels in the power it gives him over them, but since it makes me so uncomfortable to be depended on that much I am far from optimal for them. For me it is absolutely not a turn-on, and I generally have a hard time having a relationship with someone suffering like that.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I've dealt mostly with women of the latter type Venhardi describes--not girls who are just a little down on themselves, but who have undergone some pretty serious shit.

I was actually talking to someone about this last night. I am mainly attracted to two kinds of women:

1. Damaged, vulnerable, standoffish women who have trust issues.
2. Smart, funny, confident, and (sexually) freaky women who are very much not "damaged" but I find fascinating for different reasons altogether.

The odd thing is, a #1 can turn into #2 over time.

The important thing to remember is that you can't go in trying to save them. You can try to help them, but they're the ones who have to do the work of sorting themselves out. But Venhardi is right, it's not easy to have a relationship with them. And if they do "get better," they will be very different people in a lot of ways.

Still, I do it because I have kind of a surplus of affection to give and I just have a natural tendency toward helping people. If they decide they don't need me anymore, that's just how it goes sometimes.

 

[RoJoHen]

Why does everyone think they're 'damaged'? Man up, you bunch of losers.

I prefer to think of myself as refurbished.

 

[RAMA]

"Damaged" as in you could see they're a little sad for some reason, a bit broken. Something's just not quite right and you can sense it.

Usually for me, it's a big turn off, because they're too much like me. But right now I'm really attracted to an obvious emotional wreck. God help me.

Edit: And it's so sad that I'm sitting here at almost 3 in the morning thinking about her. I've got it bad ...

I'm guessing you mean women with baggage or with depression problems. I liked to keep away from depressed women when I was single, so go figure my two longest relationships were with women who were on AD pills or should be...

RAMA

 

[Ward Fowler]

As other's have said, everyone is damaged. It might be more interesting to talk about crazy. Back in my younger days I had a buddy whose sister was really into me. She was also very hot. The shame of it was is she was quite emotionally unstable. Looking back on it she was probably bipolar. Either way, for once I used my big head rather than my small one. I bet she would have been a wildcat in the sack though.