"Damaged" Women

[melancholymecha]

I can't hold a job (I tried twice--the longest lasted 2 months over a holiday season--retail is definitely not for me) is among my problems.

I havent been able to work since 2000. Ive done retail- its pure hell. I applied for vocational rehab this year & am waiting to see what they can do for me. I dont want to work, Im horrified to do it, but I worry about being self supportive in the future....

And I still don't have a driver's license at 22 years old.

I got mine in my early 20's but I hated driving. I didnt drive at all until recenlty, due to neccesity. I dont have a car though. I live with my mom & use hers.

And I don't get along with my peers. Everyone I get along with or socialize at all with is in my parents' age bracket (over 60).

I can get "along" but after a couple hours( more or less it depends on the person) I want to be by myself again. I especially hate chit chat, especally if it means sharing personal info. And yeah socializing with peers is especially hard. I become paranoid about what they are thinking about me.

And despite being in college by the time I was 15 1/2 (I was in 12th grade due to independent study by age 15 and I took the CHSPE at age 16), I kept having depression meltdowns every few semesters until I finally just gave up (with about 70+ college credits--heavily history and linguistics).

yep, me too, 60+ college credits(mostly art & graphic design) that have gone to waste.

I'm pretty convinced that I won't find anyone and I'm not actively trying to rectify the situation either (I don't get out much--I'm not a people-person and get rundown very quickly).

I think the same. Though in my case I think it just wouldnt be healthy for me to get into a relationship. I dont even know how to keep a platonic ship going. if Im gonna try for any relationship Id rather work on keeping a friend first, before getting a boyfriend. But its hard b/c I dont feel in need of friendship right now b/c Im surrounded by a lot of family and they fill up my "socializing quota". The only way my anti-socialness is affecting me negatively right now, is in regards to emplyoment.

I mean I've avoided relationships because I keep attracting toxic men. I've been working for years to deal with whatever I'm sending out that attracts them and blinds me to how bad they really are. I haven't really found a good therapist to help me until now.

ah I understand, yeah thats exactly what Im talking about. And yeah no kids for me either!

 

[Saul]

Damaged women are usually holding onto their ex bf.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Look, let's go easy on these people, ok? It's not like they are some priceless collection of china or something. Damaged or not, they are still human. It's not their fault what happened to them.

As to what I'd do if I met such a woman? I honestly have no idea. If I meet someone, and I like her, I might find myself falling big time. So what would I then do if I found out about, well, damage? I would not be turned off. I would try to talk to her about it and ask her what she wanted me to do. I wouldn't want my presence to make her situation worse or anything like that.

mecha - I hate chit chat as well. I hear too much of it at work. I get pulled into the office all the time because I don't talk to people enough! The most speaking I ever do in public, or indeed at all, is when I'm at a Yankees game, and that's more shouting than speaking.

 

[Jono]

I've been lured by damaged women, at least more damaged than I consider normal (whatever that means) and I can say that it has never ended well for me.

 

[Jetfire]

(A) I can't hold a job (I tried twice--the longest lasted 2 months over a holiday season--retail is definitely not for me) is among my problems.

(B)And I still don't have a driver's license at 22 years old.

(C) I'm pretty convinced that I won't find anyone and I'm not actively trying to rectify the situation either (I don't get out much--I'm not a people-person and get rundown very quickly).

A. I can't keep a job too long, longest has been 2 years...I usually get bored or pissed of at someone.

B. I didn't get mine until I was 21.

C. I have given up on finding a someone...I cannot have my heart broken one more time. I always put my trust in the wrong people.

You will be ok...just be you and focus on the things in life you love.

 

[Lookingglassman]

I dated one once and that turned out to be a big fiasco so I will never date one again.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

I dated one once and that turned out to be a big fiasco so I will never date one again.

How will you know?

They could be faking it, like when someone sells you a used a car that's really messed up.

Or that hooker who always wears a scarf and claims she's just tall and has big hands "for a girl".

 

[Emher]

Me I seem to attract troubled girls, and me with my combination off big brother syndrome and desperation often take them in so to say, support them, am a friend to them and so on. Which always inevitable leads to me getting in to deep and getting hurt myself. So I'm trying to not get into that trap anymore.

It's not that I mind baggage, I certainly have quite a bit of it myself. It's just that at some point the baggage and the "damage" becomes too much. Especially if you get nothing back.

Last time this thing repeated itself we got so close to actually having something happen, but naturally that was the weekend she met a new guy. Which by the way is the not "the" guy anymore, but replaced with another guy. In this case I finally came to the realization that we were never a good idea as a couple in any case.

I just would to once, just once actually get involved in an actual decently functioning relationship. I know that relationships always takes a lot of work, but how hard is it supposed to be to find someone that likes you quite a bit for at least a while?

 

[iguana_tonante]

I don't even know what this thread is about. Damaged? What are you talking about, people or shipped goods? Either I like them or I don't. Do people usually roam psychiatrists' offices looking for a date?

(Well, I do that for Holdfast's, but I was just looking for fashion adivice, honest!)

 

[Plecostomus]

My wife has one leg, she count as damaged?

 

[NickInABox]

This thread hasn't been closed yet? Goddamn.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Bringing gender into the question does bring up some valid points, but we have to start thinking in terms of how both (or all) genders are damaged by the oppression of female power and the enforcement of gender roles.
It sounds cliche, but it is quite rampant, and damaging: men who cannot cry; women who are forced through cultural/family pressure into roles that are contrary to their hearts.
We are all oppressed by gender inequality, and people who are psychologically stable are no less affected by it, in fact, it may be more insidious for them. Because a "damaged" person is at least in a state where transformation is possible.