I have now seen this film.
Star Trek, the movie, is big, loud, dumb fun. In other words, it totally obliterates the thing that set Star Trek apart from Star Wars- its brain. Its aspiration to (and occasional realization of) erudition and literacy. Like the most recent reincarnation of twilight zone, it takes the name and trappings of a show made by people with something to say, amplifies those trappings, while gutting the substance, and markets the product to the great unwashed masses who don't know better.
This film gets all the notes right but totally misses the melody. It was as if they were given a checklist without understanding the significance or context of those elements. Kobiyashi maru? Check (freighter? What's a freighter? Put "U.S.S." in front of everything; surveys show people missed that in Enterprise).
McCoy's divorced. Check. I'm a doctor, not a scriptwriter. Check.
Kirk a babe hound? Check. (What do you mean, view the series?) Spock tormented by Vulcan kids a la Yesteryear? Check. Green women? Check. (What does "animal slave women" mean? Just paint some chick green, already.)
Oh, Beaker, don't you know canon's been thrown out? It's an alternate reality, everything changed when Nero time-jumped.
Apparently that caused the following:
Massive canyons in Iowa
Pregnant civilian wives on starships
"Flagships" with no flag officers aboard
Crewmen (and their wives) regularly talking into communicators aboard ship
A spock who would abandon the command of his ship during a crisis to personally go save a handful of vulcans (did anyone involved with this film ever see- or understand- Journey to Babel?)
A Spock who bangs the chicks under his command, in violation of regulations and the elementary principles of leadership
A spock who would recklessly maroon Kirk on a hostile, dangerous world
A starfleet that commissions 17 year olds as ensigns and puts them in command.
Doctors who go to starfleet academy (when it's well established McCoy never did - just like the service today)
A Starfleet that promotes cadets to captains.
A Hikaru Sulu born a good ten years before Kirk
The script: course and dumb. Kirk's easy, sophomoric goading of Spock into a fight - in front of the crew- is one of many example that show the writers simply have no conception of wit, subtlety, or the essential way a military commander must be perceived by his crew. How did TOS understand this, but this film not (could it be that the creators of TOS had served in the military during war? Hmmmm...)
The humor: worse than anything in TFF. Kirk with a swollen tongue a la jar jar binks, Scotty in the plumbing.... Ugh.
One true cute moment revives Chekov's transposition of his v's and w's.
The cast: Quinto, reasonably effective as Spock, is done no favor by the casting of Nimoy as his older incarnation. Even in this fluff Nimoy projects intellect and gravitas, leaving Quinto to come off as brutish and whiny. Speaking of brutish, Shatner's bookish and charming Kirk has been replaced by some dumb, plain, loutish college jock with massive eyebrows and a nuance deficiency.
Simon Pegg scores much better as Scotty, bearing a passing resemblance in looks to the young Jimmy Doohan of the series, and in exuberance to the old Jimmy Doohan of the films, fully capturing the character while making no effort to channel his predecessor.
Karl Urban's McCoy tells us he's a southerner, tells us he's divorced, tells us he's a doctor... Well, he tells us a whole lot. Doesn't show much-- he doesn't give us much of a read on the character, other than "generally pissed off." But frankly, I'm just glad to see an adult on that bridge.
John Cho is a cypher as the newly Korean Mr. Sulu.
Anton Yelchin embraces his role as comic relief and is a welcome presence.
So I hated the movie? No. It's big, loud, popcorn fun.
Is it Star Trek? oh hell no.
Star Trek, the movie, is big, loud, dumb fun. In other words, it totally obliterates the thing that set Star Trek apart from Star Wars- its brain. Its aspiration to (and occasional realization of) erudition and literacy. Like the most recent reincarnation of twilight zone, it takes the name and trappings of a show made by people with something to say, amplifies those trappings, while gutting the substance, and markets the product to the great unwashed masses who don't know better.
This film gets all the notes right but totally misses the melody. It was as if they were given a checklist without understanding the significance or context of those elements. Kobiyashi maru? Check (freighter? What's a freighter? Put "U.S.S." in front of everything; surveys show people missed that in Enterprise).
McCoy's divorced. Check. I'm a doctor, not a scriptwriter. Check.
Kirk a babe hound? Check. (What do you mean, view the series?) Spock tormented by Vulcan kids a la Yesteryear? Check. Green women? Check. (What does "animal slave women" mean? Just paint some chick green, already.)
Oh, Beaker, don't you know canon's been thrown out? It's an alternate reality, everything changed when Nero time-jumped.
Apparently that caused the following:
Massive canyons in Iowa
Pregnant civilian wives on starships
"Flagships" with no flag officers aboard
Crewmen (and their wives) regularly talking into communicators aboard ship
A spock who would abandon the command of his ship during a crisis to personally go save a handful of vulcans (did anyone involved with this film ever see- or understand- Journey to Babel?)
A Spock who bangs the chicks under his command, in violation of regulations and the elementary principles of leadership
A spock who would recklessly maroon Kirk on a hostile, dangerous world
A starfleet that commissions 17 year olds as ensigns and puts them in command.
Doctors who go to starfleet academy (when it's well established McCoy never did - just like the service today)
A Starfleet that promotes cadets to captains.
A Hikaru Sulu born a good ten years before Kirk
The script: course and dumb. Kirk's easy, sophomoric goading of Spock into a fight - in front of the crew- is one of many example that show the writers simply have no conception of wit, subtlety, or the essential way a military commander must be perceived by his crew. How did TOS understand this, but this film not (could it be that the creators of TOS had served in the military during war? Hmmmm...)
The humor: worse than anything in TFF. Kirk with a swollen tongue a la jar jar binks, Scotty in the plumbing.... Ugh.
One true cute moment revives Chekov's transposition of his v's and w's.
The cast: Quinto, reasonably effective as Spock, is done no favor by the casting of Nimoy as his older incarnation. Even in this fluff Nimoy projects intellect and gravitas, leaving Quinto to come off as brutish and whiny. Speaking of brutish, Shatner's bookish and charming Kirk has been replaced by some dumb, plain, loutish college jock with massive eyebrows and a nuance deficiency.
Simon Pegg scores much better as Scotty, bearing a passing resemblance in looks to the young Jimmy Doohan of the series, and in exuberance to the old Jimmy Doohan of the films, fully capturing the character while making no effort to channel his predecessor.
Karl Urban's McCoy tells us he's a southerner, tells us he's divorced, tells us he's a doctor... Well, he tells us a whole lot. Doesn't show much-- he doesn't give us much of a read on the character, other than "generally pissed off." But frankly, I'm just glad to see an adult on that bridge.
John Cho is a cypher as the newly Korean Mr. Sulu.
Anton Yelchin embraces his role as comic relief and is a welcome presence.
So I hated the movie? No. It's big, loud, popcorn fun.
Is it Star Trek? oh hell no.
