Then she started crying...

[JustKate]

So lemme get this one straight...

You know her for about a month and she is consistently throwing herself at you and you make no reply. Then one day you're like, "Okay, get on the bed." So you start doing it but then she starts sobbing. You then "finish up" (and how long did this take? Was she crying for like five minutes before you finally, um, "finished?"), put your pants back on and zip outta there without a word.

I've met people who act in this way, both men and women. I like to think in your case that it was just some seriously bad judgment and you didn't just walk out because you couldn't give a shit but rather because you didn't know how to handle it. That said, if you didn't know how to handle it, you shouldn't be having sex.

It was more her than me... like 80% her. Not sobbing, more of a quiet crying and only for 20-30 seconds. And I was pretty much there.. so it wasn't like I went on for several minutes, it was right at the... point of no return. I didn't zip up and leave. I did try to ask, she didn't say anything, nothing, not a word. Almost like I wasn't there.

I'm glad to hear that you said something then, but I meant that I really think you should say something about it now - sometime when neither one of you is, um, preoccupied. As I mentioned before, I don't think you have to become her confessor or anything, but something like, "I didn't know what to say the other night, but I'm sorry if I did anything to distress you" would be a good thing. You don't have to ask what was wrong if you don't want to - I mean, if it's nothing really to do with you, it's not actually your business anyway. All I'm saying is that I can promise you - speaking as a woman here - that you don't want her last vivid memory of you to be you "finishing up" while she cried quietly. Really.

It all sounds very weird, but that's not important. What's important is that you make the best of a bad situation and do the right thing to the best of your ability.

 

[Jenee]

It was weird too, the very first time I met her, she literally threw herself at me, she was all over me, coming on to me, touching me, the best way to describe it would be to say she was molesting me.

I'm confused.

Was she all over you, practically molesting you? Or did you have to be told? Because you've said both and it can't be both. It was one or the other.

If you noticed she was all over you, but had to wait for someone to tell you to 'go for it', then you need to grow a pair and stop giving in to peer pressure. As you can see, other people don't always know what's right for you.

 

[sidious618]

I have to admit that I'm rather confused as well about this whole situation. I think something may be... amiss!

 

[Koinek]

Honestly, it's been a couple weeks and it would just be awkward for him to bring it up now.

"Hey remember that time we were doing it and you started crying? Still haven't figured that one out..."

 

[JustKate]

^ I didn't say it wouldn't be awkward. I said it would be the right thing to do. And I also said that he doesn't have to - and probably shouldn't - ask what was wrong. What he should do is apologize for anything he might have done that hurt her.

The right thing to do often is awkward. Tough. It would have been much easier if he'd done it right then - and perhaps he did, but if so, he hasn't told us that.

 

[Holdfast]

Then she started crying...

I always know I'm going to enjoy a thread that starts like this...

 

[Emher]

I'm ambivalent towards this thread. Not quite sure what's went on, and thus I can't be as judgmental as I want to be.

 

[Balrog]

E - D Six Hundred Twenty-Nine, screwed the girls and made them cry...

 

[thumbtack]

It's not uncommon for a woman to burst into tears upon viewing the infamous micro-penis she had always assumed was nothing more than urban legend.

 

[ed629]

It was weird too, the very first time I met her, she literally threw herself at me, she was all over me, coming on to me, touching me, the best way to describe it would be to say she was molesting me.

I'm confused.

Was she all over you, practically molesting you? Or did you have to be told? Because you've said both and it can't be both. It was one or the other.

If you noticed she was all over you, but had to wait for someone to tell you to 'go for it', then you need to grow a pair and stop giving in to peer pressure. As you can see, other people don't always know what's right for you.

She was all over me... but I didn't really make much of it. I just assumed she was odd or weird. And was somewhat oblivious to it at the same time... some people pointed out that she was more than just touchy. Then when I met her again I realized that she was throwing herself at me. I had other stuff preoccupying my mind the first time I met her, so I just wasn't really paying attention to it and what I did notice I just, I don't know, thought maybe I was reading too much into it. So even though I could of the second time I met her, I didn't. Then later it became obvious that she was into me, and she kept on with all her actions and stuff.

^ I didn't say it wouldn't be awkward. I said it would be the right thing to do. And I also said that he doesn't have to - and probably shouldn't - ask what was wrong. What he should do is apologize for anything he might have done that hurt her.

The right thing to do often is awkward. Tough. It would have been much easier if he'd done it right then - and perhaps he did, but if so, he hasn't told us that.

I did ask then... she wouldn't say anything. Tried again later, she didn't say anything then either. I'm somewhat confused by the whole thing.

 

[ed629]

It's not uncommon for a woman to burst into tears upon viewing the infamous micro-penis she had always assumed was nothing more than urban legend.

Is that why you would be thumbtack?

 

[Emher]

Well given the slightly more clear facts it seems she's got some kinds of issues and was using you to try and lessen the impact of them. Seeing as you did try and ask her repeatedly I don't really see what else can be done. And it's probably not a good idea to ask her now.

Then again my skills with the ladies are quite...what's the opposite of skills?

 

[Trekker4747]

I say she was "cycling" and just emotional.

 

[JustKate]

^ Trekker...guys always think that any mysterious (to them) emotion is caused by "cycling." Here's a handy tip for you: It's almost never true, and it's never a smart assumption to make. Girls do not cry during sex because they are cycling. Girls cry during sex for a reason. Now it could be an oddball reason, but it's a reason.

 

[Balrog]

Then again my skills with the ladies are quite...what's the opposite of skills?

Small penis.

 

[ed629]

^ Trekker...guys always think that any mysterious (to them) emotion is caused by "cycling." Here's a handy tip for you: It's almost never true, and it's never a smart assumption to make. Girls do not cry during sex because they are cycling. Girls cry during sex for a reason. Now it could be an oddball reason, but it's a reason.

That.... didn't help... whatever her reason was she doesn't want to say. And if she doesn't want say then I can't force her to.

 

[JustKate]

^ I agree. I just want to make sure you really and truly made an effort. If you did, that's all you can do.

The thing that made me uneasy, frankly, was where in your first post you acted like you'd just gone to home to bed and didn't worry about it for a second. That doesn't quite jive with what you're saying here, but if the true story is that you did you best, then you can't be expected to do more.

 

[Trekker4747]

^ Trekker...guys always think that any mysterious (to them) emotion is caused by "cycling." Here's a handy tip for you: It's almost never true, and it's never a smart assumption to make. Girls do not cry during sex because they are cycling. Girls cry during sex for a reason. Now it could be an oddball reason, but it's a reason.

She's cycling and emotional about... something. Ed is such an underperformer she got those things on her mind and started crying.



I'm kidding, of course, I just think she's emotional and it was a bad moment for her in one way or another. ED needs to talk with her and get to let her feelings and emotions out.

 

[ed629]

^ I agree. I just want to make sure you really and truly made an effort. If you did, that's all you can do.

The thing that made me uneasy, frankly, was where in your first post you acted like you'd just gone to home to bed and didn't worry about it for a second. That doesn't quite jive with what you're saying here, but if the true story is that you did you best, then you can't be expected to do more.

After she didn't answer me and wouldn't say anything, I tried to figure out what to do but couldn't really think of a thing to say or do since she was not responding. So I went home and didn't let it bother me, there wasn't any point in staying up and worrying or wondering about it. I know it sounds callous, but worrying or thinking about wasn't going to do anything then... and while I did say I really didn't feel one way or another about her, it's pretty true. I don't really feel an attraction to her other than what happened... and I didn't see any problem with it as she was throwing herself at me. I know she's a person, but I really got the feeling that she was using me to satisfy something in herself and the crying thing... it could be anything as you said.


And not being an ass here.... but why have the last several girls I've dated or had anything to do with beyond being friends been nuts? Seriously... my BIL even said it to me, he guessed one of them the first time I mentioned her to him and my sister, we had lunch together and my sister asked if I was still seeing this other other girl, I said that it didn't work out but I did have date with another girl that evening. My BIL then asked me 2 questions (hair color and what she did for a living), and he was right on both of them, and added RUN AWAY FAST.... they're nuts. It was rather freaky that he knew without even meeting her.. ever or me saying anything about her... but yeah, the last few girls have been.... weird/nuts/off.

 

[Emher]

Then again my skills with the ladies are quite...what's the opposite of skills?

Small penis.

Yeah not that, more like I can't get them interested in me. And the ones that on rare occasion are have some kinda of deep issues.