Without getting into details (other than it didn't involve a car, another person or a suicide attempt), it ended up with me in hospital meeting my first cardiologist, neurosurgeon and plastic surgeon. I've been a bit more restrained since then.
^ Did you set yourself on fire or just fall down the stairs into a pit of electric eels!? You are on. But I haven't thrown in almost a decade. I have no idea if I could even hit the board these days. And Squiggy and Grant, waking up with "Coyote Ugly" is a right of passage for anyone dabbling in the art of over-imbibing. I actually crawled out a bathroom window rather than have to talk to "it" when I found they had awakened before I had.
Let's just say that running drunk through the woods at night with a full bottle of beer in your hand is not recommended.
A guy I know locked himself out of his house, after having drunk vast quantities. Instead of waiting for his wife to come home and let him in, he decided to climb up to a second floor open window, and get back in that way. He stepped on a satellite dish to hoist himself through the window, it decided to give way, and he plummeted down to the solid concrete below, shattering the bones in his left leg so bad, the doctors didn't know if they could put it back together again.
On a Sunday morning following St. Patrick's day, circa 1995 or so, I was a musician in a Church group. During the Communion, I hurried to the small bathroom in the back and was heard loud and clear, vomiting profusely. Technically, I wasn't still drunk, but that was a good one for the record books.
Very little. I seldom drink enough to be considered 'drunk'. Though I can testify from my lost youth that Taunton Dry Blackthorn contains a dye which will stain carpets if regurgitated.
Reminds me something written on the wall of my favorite pub (the bad translation is mine and I'm not drunk...yet) : "It's better to have Parkinson and spill the beer than to have Alzheimer and forget to drink it. "
Set up a movie prop of a severed head in a friends bed with a lot of pillows, convinced her that a tramp had wandered into our student house while she was out at the pub and gone to sleep in her bed, then brutally attacked the tramp with a full bottle of wine which smashed all over the latex head and ruined her bed and the carpet and the paint job, and cut my hand wide open resulting a much blood being let over said bed as well. Actually, I've done much worse things than that, but I'm not gonna go into them here
I was 19, on holiday in Spain with my friends. I don't remember much after the 14th tequila shot. It was one big blur, I do vaguely remember returning to my bed that's all... I have never drank tequila since..
14th! Good lord. I was introduced to tequila one fateful New Year's Eve. I bonded with one of my friend's boyfriends over three shots of the stuff. We still laugh about it. Earlier this summer, they were on their way back from their honeymoon and he saw a tiny bottle of Patrón and got it for me as a birthday present. I haven't touched it yet!
So far, the worst thing was busting into this place and making a mess of the dance floor while screaming out unintelligible Spanish.
Locked myself out of my hotel room with nothing more than one of those skimpy hotel towels to cover me. That sucked.
Never been drunk myself, but I'll share a few from the family: -- Dad (teen) puking in a Cop's hat, then charged with destruction of city property -- My grandfather leading the county cops on a 3 county chance, ending in his front yard with him sitting on the hood of his car and offering the cops a beer when they finally pulled in. -- Skillsaw, my grandfather, construction site, plywood, 6 beers later, fingers in the wrong spot, do the math. -- And, what is generally considered the capper in the family, my cousin getting caught in school with a gallon of moonshine (yes, real moonshine brewed by my Uncle), getting drunk in the boys bathroom, then pissing on the Principle. And they wonder why I disowned most of them.
The worst thing I've ever done while drunk? I'd say it was when, after 7 shots of absinthe, 3 vodka coolers, and perhaps a beer or two, I kissed one of my friends -- who also happened to be dating one of my other friends. Neither were too pleased with me, I can tell you that, and I immediately felt like a douche and an idiot. Anyway, they both forgave me, so it's alright now... heck, considering she cheated on him the following year (amongst other ugliness), my little indiscretion is probably almost forgotten. What else... I've urinated in public places a few times when there wasn't a toilet around -- fortunately, it was in downtown Hamilton, Ontario, so I'm pretty sure no one would notice. (Okay, you have to be familiar with Hamilton to understand that, but suffice it to say, the downtown area is somewhat sketchy, to put it mildly.) I once also had car sex while drunk... in the dead of winter. With a girl I had just met. Oh yeah, and it was my first time with a woman. I don't regret it or anything (even though it wasn't the greatest, to be perfectly honest), so I wouldn't include it as one of the "worst things I've done while drunk", but looking back, the whole experience does have a slight -vibe to it. Eh... c'est la vie.