KFC

[Yoda]

They always fuck up my orders. I'm done with them.

I went through the drive thru, ordered a 3 piece chicken strip meal with mashed potatoes and gravy and mac and chee. They asked if I wanted honey/butter for the biscuit, I said yes. When I got home, there was no honey or butter. Oh. And no biscuit. And instead of mac and chee, they give me some beans or something.

How fucking hard is it? I mean, they managed to enter the order correctly, everything on my receipt was correct. I typically check my drive thru orders to make sure they don't screw up, but there's only so much you can do... as in, I see the box where the chicken and biscuit should be, check, I see two containers for sides, check.

Seriously, I think they're at under 50% percent success for getting me the correct order. And it's not like I make huge orders for an entire family. I am ONE FUCKING PERSON. I order ONE FUCKING MEAL.

The McDonald's next door never screws up my order. The taco shop never screws up my order. In-N-Out never screws up my order (though to be fair they pay a couple of extra bucks an hour so that they can avoid hiring the most useless of the useless).

And why is it that all the fast food places force their drive thru monkeys to open with some script to the effect of "Would you like to try our brand new blah blah blah today?" It would almost make sense, except that they universally just mumble whatever new item they're trying to sell you. I can never answer yes to their question because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SAYING!

Fuck you KFC. You're a bottomfeeder, even amongst other ghetto ass fast food joints. I hope your parent company Yum collapses in this economy and your blight is lifted from the world.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Keep in mind that these things change depending on which branch you visit. The KFC in my area is very nice. It is Wendy's and Carl's Jr. that can't get anything right. In other areas it's Burger King.

The one constant, however, is In-N-Out. They just always rock.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

The KFC in my area can't get and order right and they take twenty minutes to put chicken in a box. I don't go there anymore either.

 

[RoJoHen]

We have a brand new KFC that opened within the last couple months. I've gone twice, and the service was great both times.

 

[Capn Flukie]

KFC almost made me give up on chicken entirely.

 

[Yoda]

We have a brand new KFC that opened within the last couple months. I've gone twice, and the service was great both times.

Keep in mind that these things change depending on which branch you visit. The KFC in my area is very nice. It is Wendy's and Carl's Jr. that can't get anything right. In other areas it's Burger King.

Whatever, the other KFCs I've been to all suck too, so you guys are liars! LIARS! You were paid off by YumCorp!

The one constant, however, is In-N-Out. They just always rock.

Indeed, unfortunately the locations aren't as convenient as they could be for me

The KFC in my area can't get and order right and they take twenty minutes to put chicken in a box. I don't go there anymore either.

Preach it brotha!

 

[Plecostomus]

We have a brand new KFC that opened within the last couple months. I've gone twice, and the service was great both times.

Just wait for the Teen Drama Cliques to form and the Bitter Man Hating Single Mother to be promoted to shift manager. Then service will be on par with the rest of the chain.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I will say that my dad worked at KFC for about a year when he was a teenager, and now he refuses to go there ever again. He says it's because he got sick of eating it so often but I think that he may have some disturbing insider knowledge!

 

[Yoda]

We have a brand new KFC that opened within the last couple months. I've gone twice, and the service was great both times.

Just wait for the Teen Drama Cliques to form and the Bitter Man Hating Single Mother to be promoted to shift manager. Then service will be on par with the rest of the chain.

Maybe that's it. Maybe it takes 6 months to a year before it's truly a KFC. There's probably a corporate memo out there somewhere telling them to provide good service for some minimum of time to hook the consumer, then turn into a shit sandwich.

Oh, and another thing. Almost 10 years ago now, I was moving, on my way to my freshman year of college in a dorm. After a few hours of driving, nearly at my destination, I stopped at a KFC in St. Cloud, MN. I asked for some kind of chicken, I forget the details... the cashier woman asked me if I wanted the 12 AND UNDER KIDS MEAL!!! Granted I have youthful good looks that many would kill for, but don't fucking talk to me like I haven't even gone through puberty! If I'm ever back in St. Cloud that place is burning to the ground.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Wow you're angry.

I get confused for being much younger than I really am all the time. I went to get car insurance the other day and my mom was with me because of some other business and everyone thought I was a teenager. They said, "oh is this your first car?? Congratulations, did you just get your license?!" I said, "No, I'm 23, I'm just getting new insurance." And one lady didn't believe me! She was like, "YOU, graduated COLLEGE?!" Yes, why is that so hard to believe??
One time I tried buying a pack of cigarettes for a friend and the cashier refused my ID!! He said there was no way I was older than 18!

 

[RoJoHen]

Wow you're angry.

I get confused for being much younger than I really am all the time. I went to get car insurance the other day and my mom was with me because of some other business and everyone thought I was a teenager. They said, "oh is this your first car?? Congratulations, did you just get your license?!" I said, "No, I'm 23, I'm just getting new insurance." And one lady didn't believe me! She was like, "YOU, graduated COLLEGE?!" Yes, why is that so hard to believe??
One time I tried buying a pack of cigarettes for a friend and he refused my ID!! He said there was no way I was older than 18!

That is a bunch of nonsense, and I'm glad I never have that problem. Most people think I'm about 5 years older than I am.

 

[Plecostomus]

I get that sometimes from prospective employers. Last couple interviews (prior to landing my current gig) I stapled a copy of my birth cert to the resume. I was being tossed out as inexperienced before the interview really got underway.

One place I threatened to call DOL/Human Rights over the interview because they referred to me as a 12-year-old with a stolen resume.


Anyway, my experience with fast food joints (both actual and listening to war stories) its almost always the same. Starts out great then the summer ends and someone with no management skills gets put in charge. He or she hires "friends" and everything starts to slip.

The other failure mode comes from Mommy or Daddy Franchise Owner appointing Bobby or Sue Family-Member to a leadership position.

*shrug* So glad I don't have to deal with that shit any longer.

 

[Spot's Meow]

That reminds me, there is a Baskin Robbins near my house that is run by a family. Like, literally. A 10 year old rang up my order and made my milkshake. He had to get his teenage sister to help because he couldn't reach the ice cream. Like, really? They have got to be violating some child labor laws.

 

[DiSiLLUSiON]

Down here it's Burger King. The personnel is either retarded, constantly stoned or are simply very, very dumb. They're usually dropouts as well, with no future and interest for anything that is not their customer.

Now McDonalds seem to get things a bit better; orders are usually correct. It's just that I don't like McDonalds; they don't have a Long Chicken with cheese.

 

[Yoda]

Wow you're angry.

You don't know the half of it. While composing the response below, my furious typing caused me to knock over my can of Cherry Coke Zero. It spilled all over my desk, mousepad, and a spindle of CDs/DVDs. KFC's reach in making my life miserable seemingly knows no bounds!

I get confused for being much younger than I really am all the time. I went to get car insurance the other day and my mom was with me because of some other business and everyone thought I was a teenager. They said, "oh is this your first car?? Congratulations, did you just get your license?!" I said, "No, I'm 23, I'm just getting new insurance." And one lady didn't believe me! She was like, "YOU, graduated COLLEGE?!" Yes, why is that so hard to believe??
One time I tried buying a pack of cigarettes for a friend and the cashier refused my ID!! He said there was no way I was older than 18!

I can live with being carded for booze, or cigarettes if I were a smoker, but 21/18 and fucking TWELVE are two distinct things!


Another retarded thing about KFC. Why are they like the only fast food place to define a 'meal' as not coming with a soft drink? Even when I order a la carte from a respectable fast food place they'll ask me if I want a drink. Not only do you decide to go off on your fucking own and declare that a drink isn't part of a meal, then you don't even have the decency to ask if I'd like a drink regardless! You would think if anything it would be MORE important to ask in this case. What assholes.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

I generally don't eat at KFC, but the one time I've gone in the past few years (Stranded with a broken car and starving), the service was more than adequate.

Considering that it's been there for like forever, I might have walked into Twilight Zone KFC.

 

[Plecostomus]

Wow, poor Yoda is headed down the path of the Dark Side, all over a value meal that wasn't much of a value!

"Tired of shoddy service am I... put up with this I will not! Force-choke a bitch will I NOW BRING ME A SOFT DRINK DAMN IT!"

 

[Holdfast]

They always fuck up my orders. I'm done with them.

I went through the drive thru, ordered a 3 piece chicken strip meal with mashed potatoes and gravy and mac and chee. They asked if I wanted honey/butter for the biscuit, I said yes. When I got home, there was no honey or butter. Oh. And no biscuit. And instead of mac and chee, they give me some beans or something.

How fucking hard is it? I mean, they managed to enter the order correctly, everything on my receipt was correct. I typically check my drive thru orders to make sure they don't screw up, but there's only so much you can do... as in, I see the box where the chicken and biscuit should be, check, I see two containers for sides, check.

Seriously, I think they're at under 50% percent success for getting me the correct order. And it's not like I make huge orders for an entire family. I am ONE FUCKING PERSON. I order ONE FUCKING MEAL.

The McDonald's next door never screws up my order. The taco shop never screws up my order. In-N-Out never screws up my order (though to be fair they pay a couple of extra bucks an hour so that they can avoid hiring the most uselss of the useless).

And why is it that all the fast food places force their drive thru monkeys to open with some script to the effect of "Would you like to try our brand new blah blah blah today?" It would almost make sense, except that they universally just mumble whatever new item they're trying to sell you. I can never answer yes to their question because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SAYING!

Fuck you KFC. You're a bottomfeeder, even amongst other ghetto ass fast food joints. I hope your parent company Yum collapses in this economy and your blight is lifted from the world.

BEST rant I've read in a while.

(Trekker, take some notes, 'kay?)

 

[Yoda]

I think Jesus Christ and The Colonel have much in common.

Think about it, they both came up with brilliant recipes. The Colonel of course had a recipe to combine herbs and spices to create transcendent fried chicken. Jesus had a recipe for living an honest, peaceful, and good life.

Fundamentally both men were geniuses who used their genius to try to help man achieve his true potential. They were everything that was good about humanity.

But then Jesus dies and you get the Crusades and shit. The Colonel dies and they build an unholy piece of garbage terrible service KFC at the Clairemont Town Square and countless other places. Good job human race, you took such wonderful gifts, desecrated them, and vomited on the graves of men whose piss you aren't fit to drink.

 

[Kestra]

Wow you're angry.

You don't know the half of it. While composing the response below, my furious typing caused me to knock over my can of Cherry Coke Zero. It spilled all over my desk, mousepad, and a spindle of CDs/DVDs. KFC's reach in making my life miserable seemingly knows no bounds!

Sorry, I'm laughing but I've totally been there too. I once got this monster order from there with too much food to really check everything in the bag to see if it was what I had ordered. My husband can eat enough for five people. So anyway, I get the order, struggle home with it, pull everything out and then realize they didn't put in my chocolate parfait. And we didn't have any chocolate in the house. And I was slightly hormonal. It was not a pretty sight.