Facts About Captain Robau

[Daneel]

CAPTAIN ROBAU IS THE REASON SPOCK WAS CONSTANTLY SHOUTING IN THE EARLIEST STAR TREK EPISODES!!!!!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

HE COULDN'T HEAR HIMSELF THINK OVER THE SOUND OF HOW BADASS ROBAU IS!

THE BADASS OF ROBAU CAN AT TIMES BE LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER WHOLE STAR SYSTEMS!!

 

[Aragorn]

When Robau was an internet message board moderator, he didn't give warnings and suspensions to trolls and flame-war starters -- instead, he just went back in time and delayed the trolls' conceptions by a day, thus making them completely different people.

 

[Nerys Myk]

When Robau was an internet message board moderator, he didn't give warnings and suspensions to trolls and flame-war starters -- instead, he just went back in time and delayed the trolls' conceptions by a day, thus making them completely different people.

Chekov sure learned his lesson.

 

[Squiggy]

CAPTAIN ROBAU IS THE REASON SPOCK WAS CONSTANTLY SHOUTING IN THE EARLIEST STAR TREK EPISODES!!!!!

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau Is The Law

 

[cooleddie74]

First you're born. Then you Robau. Then you die.

If you're lucky.

 

[Daneel]

In a moment unseen to viewers, Captain Robau transferred his katra to George Kirk while they were both in the turbolift. This explains how: a) Nero was able to spear Robau on the Narada, and b) George Kirk was able to save 800 lives in twelve minutes -- he had the power of Robau inside of him. Then, sensing the immenent death of George Kirk, Robau's katra left his body, travelled through the communication wave between the Kelvin and Winona Kirk's shuttle (which it can do, because it is Robau's katra, and therefore awesomely powerful), and entered the body of the newborn James T. Kirk. Thus, James T. Kirk contains the essence of Captain Robau, enabling him to accomplish all the awesome things he does in the movie.

 

[cooleddie74]

The shower-curtain partitions in the Kelvin shuttlecraft? Filters to keep passengers in the back from overdosing on a fatal concentration of Robau's badassness in the pilot's seat.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau doesn't need Transwarp to go really fast, he just wills the Kelvin to go really really fast.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau Speed warps not only time and space...but also libido and mojo.

 

[Islander]

Robau Is The Law

Robau is your judge, jury and executioner.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau Is The Law

Robau is your judge, jury and executioner.

And the bailiff too, bitch!

 

[Jeri]

Robau is Bull; he has a couch made of cement.

 

[Islander]

Robau Is The Law

Robau is your judge, jury and executioner.

And the bailiff too, bitch!

And he'll let you loose 'cuz he likes toying with you.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

In a moment unseen to viewers, Captain Robau transferred his katra to George Kirk while they were both in the turbolift. This explains how: a) Nero was able to spear Robau on the Narada, and b) George Kirk was able to save 800 lives in twelve minutes -- he had the power of Robau inside of him. Then, sensing the immenent death of George Kirk, Robau's katra left his body, travelled through the communication wave between the Kelvin and Winona Kirk's shuttle (which it can do, because it is Robau's katra, and therefore awesomely powerful), and entered the body of the newborn James T. Kirk. Thus, James T. Kirk contains the essence of Captain Robau, enabling him to accomplish all the awesome things he does in the movie.

Also a small amount of Robau's katra got lost in subspace and was later absorbed by Chris Pike which is why is is badass in this new universe and not a humorless emo captain.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau is your judge, jury and executioner.

And the bailiff too, bitch!

And he'll let you loose 'cuz he likes toying with you.

Welcome to...RICK ROBAU'S COURT

All rise for the judge...and do not sit back down until Robau says you can, bitches1

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Judge Robau's gavel is a sledgehammer. And he will bring justice with it.

 

[cooleddie74]

And it will be his tes-ti-mony...BITCH!

 

[Cky]

3,200 replies. Robau is not satisfied.