Have You Even Known Someone Who Committed Suicide?

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

A few posters on here have expressed dissatisfaction with their lives to the point of considering suicide. It is certainly something I have grappled with for many years. The most common objection you hear to suicide is the impact it will have on those you leave behind. I have a girlfriend of 10 years. There are times I think she would be better off without me and she should find a man who is more successful at life. She has in fact told me that if I were to commit suicide she doesn't think she would ever get over it. She said if I died of natural causes or an accident she could mourn and eventually move on, but suicide is something completely different.

Has anyone ever had someone close to them commit suicide or know someone who had a loved one commit suicide? Is the impact of someone killing themselves very different from someone who dies naturally? I know this sounds like a very obvious question, but I am just interested in hearing real stories of the impact it has on the survivors.

 

[sidious618]

My dad knew a store owner in passing when he was younger. The man hung himself in his basement and my father could never go into the store again and has never gotten the image of him hanging from the ceiling out of his mind. Suicide affects even those we barely know. It's a horrible, horrible thing and if you are even close to considering it I absolutely urge you to seek out some counseling.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Not quite, but one of my close friends attempted suicide several years ago.

 

[Trekker4747]

I know four people who have. One of which was an old, close, friend, one of which was a friend, the other two acquaintances.

Can't say any of their deaths impacted me much, but by the time the two "friends" died I hadn't talked to them in a while anyway so the attachment was lost and, well, the other two were acquaintances.

 

[RoJoHen]

I knew someone who committed suicide every year between 8th and 12th grade. I wasn't particularly close to any of them, but they were still people I talked to and occasionally hung out with. It's a weird feeling.

People claim that adolescents who commit suicide don't necessarily do it because of depression or anything. They do it as almost a fight or flight reaction, to escape getting into major trouble. They're hormonal and aren't always thinking of the long term. It's bizarre and terrible, but it's unfortunately the way it works sometimes.

One such acquaintance of mine had stolen a car (when he was 14), and we believe that he shot himself to avoid going to prison.

 

[FalTorPan]

The father of a loved one committed suicide. It was horrible.

 

[Rii]

A student in my tutor group at high school committed suicide shortly before exams. I didn't know him well enough to call him a friend, but I'd known that he'd been depressed for some years and was sad to hear of his death.

The most common objection you hear to suicide is the impact it will have on those you leave behind.

Which is, of course, bullshit.

 

[Finn]

Oh yes. In high school, a guy I sorts knew and chatted with time to time one day took the shotgun (on a rack in the hallway) his grandfather used to shoot bears, and locked himself in a bedroom and blew away a whole chunk of his head away.

 

[ITL]

An old friend of mine that I'd known since we were five years old killed himself last year. I hadn't seen much of him for quite a few years though, as we went in different directions a long time back. Still a shock, though.

 

[auntiehill]

My grade school classmate and swim team pal, Paul Burke.

My college friend's brother.

A co-worker's teenage son. Only saw him once, but I knew her relatively well.

 

[WillsBabe]

My friend committed suicide 10 or 11 years ago now. Dreadful thing that made the national papers. I still think of her from time to time and I miss her a great deal. I often wonder what she would have been doing now had she lived.

 

[Frodo Lives]

I've lost a few family members to the big S, including my mother.

You can't imagine the pain it causes to those you care about. The constant 'what ifs' you'd subject them to for years to come.

In your heart you may know that the person who killed themselves was in immense pain, or so troubled they could only find peace by ending it all and that there was no way you could have stopped, but that is no comfort what so ever.

And quite frankly, aside from being an ultimately selfish act, it's a waste. A waste of potential, a waste of life, a waste of good, bad, joy, sadness, anger, excitement, fear, the end of all feeling. Once you do it, that's all gone. No do overs. You really want that as a full stop?

The most common objection you hear to suicide is the impact it will have on those you leave behind.

Which is, of course, bullshit.

I'm sorry, but, as you may understand, this is a very sensitive subject for many people, and you probably shouldn't be so caviler about how other people may feel.

Saying that, who doesn't love the MASH theme?

 

[sidious618]

The most common objection you hear to suicide is the impact it will have on those you leave behind.

Which is, of course, bullshit.

What?!

 

[Hoser]

In college, a friend of mine who lived in the same hall went home for the weekend and swallowed a shotgun. Apparently it was over a girl....
I guess I'm still kinda numb over it.

 

[Peacemaker]

Yes. I had a friend in Atlanta that lost two roommates. The first one shot himself. The second one, his landlord, with whom he shared a house in a very wealthy neighborhood there, sketched out on crystal meth and brandished a gun in his front yard - at the police. The police had no choice but to shoot him, and they killed him. Shortly thereafter, Mark took his own life too. It was really sad. I sorta expected Mark might have tried something, but I wasn't sure. After I heard about his landlord, I started asking around (this happened during a period when I was off the radar in Atlanta), and two of my friends told me that he'd gone and done it.

I'm sorry, but, as you may understand, this is a very sensitive subject for many people, and you probably shouldn't be so caviler about how other people may feel.

Agreed, but this may be a good place to make a wider point, as this illustrates the logical end of nullifidian/secular ethics quite well, given the number who populate this board. Here's a sample from the literature itself, this time from the antinatalists with commentary by a friend of mine, Steve Hays: http://triablogue.blogspot.com/2009/05/is-problem-of-evil-problem.html

 

[Miss Chicken]

One of my uncles committed suicide.

He was a lifelong bachelor but he finally thought he had met the 'woman of his dreams'. Unfortunately she was not what he thought she was and she ripped him off and ran away with his savings. He took rat poison and I gather it is a horrible way to go. I think he was about 60 years old when he died.

 

[Australis]

A guy I went to school with, by shotgun.
A drummer I played with in a band, by hanging.

Both of them were young (in their 20s), lived in the same neighbourhood (though the incidents were 10 years apart), and both developed testicular cancer, resulting in removal of said glands.

Without meaning to sound funny, with them gone and no more sex or any children, life must have lost meaning for them.

I didn't know the person, but I was on the train to work one day and suddenly the train slowed abruptly, before I heard something thumping under the carriage. I think you can guess what happened. Police were using bags to pick up bits afterward.

 

[FPAlpha]

A schoolmate of mine years ago.

That guy was cool as hell.. he was big into canoe sports, i.e. he was german champion multiple times in the 90s at the age of around 18-20. However after graduation we lost contact and i heard bits and pieces about him.

Seems he really dropped the ball lifewise.. lived in a trailer, didn't have work or go to university etc. until finally one day a friend calls me telling me he had commited suicide

He was a good guy.. although he looked like a bully he never was one. He was fun to be around and had just a good nature to him. Sad to see him decide to go that route.

Another one would be distant family.. the father of my father's niece commited suicide by hanging himself. I honestly didn't ask but there were multiple suicides in her family throughout time so i honestly never asked why.

 

[Shaytan]

My 85 years old neighbor (that was 15 years ago) shot himself in the head because his nephew wanted to send him in a retirement home.

 

[Rii]

The most common objection you hear to suicide is the impact it will have on those you leave behind.

Which is, of course, bullshit.

What?!

The concept that suicide is selfish. That someone in so much distress that they can't see a reason to continue living should refrain from suicide because their death might upset friends and family is the pinnacle of hubris.