Facts About Captain Robau

[Islander]

On his acceptance speech, he thanked himself, then God.

And God sayeth, "Nay, Captain Robau, thank YOU."

And Robau replied: "That's right, bitch!"

 

[cooleddie74]

On his acceptance speech, he thanked himself, then God.

And God sayeth, "Nay, Captain Robau, thank YOU."

And Robau replied: "That's right, bitch!"

And the Devil sayeth: "Yikes. That guy is BAD ASS. Better steer clear of him!"

 

[Islander]

And God sayeth, "Nay, Captain Robau, thank YOU."

And Robau replied: "That's right, bitch!"

And the Devil sayeth: "Yikes. That guy is BAD ASS. Better steer clear of him!"

And Robau replied "Who's your daddy?"

 

[erebus]

God and the devil are scared of Captain Robau because he's a badass athiest and the multiverse just ain't big enough for the three of them.

 

[stonester1]

But Robau does make allowances for their weekly rounds of Texas Hold 'Em. The Devil doesn't even try to cheat. Robau would know.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Captain Robau meant to die. He knew that in five minutes Jim Kirk would be born and that the universe just couldn't contain the combined awesomeness of that much badassnesness.

 

[erebus]

Robau can get a Royal Flush everytime because he is the highest royal.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau doesn't need to flush.

 

[Islander]

Robau can win the hand with a pair of 2s. He's just that good.

 

[stonester1]

Indeed. You could have five aces and still Robau would win, he's that badass.

You could just give him your money, but where's the fun in that?

Besides, it's not your money anyway, just the money he's gracious enough to let you have.

He may be badass, but he's not heartless.

 

[erebus]

Robau can win without playing or even sitting down at the table.

 

[Jolantru]

The earth does not rotate on it's axis, rather it's in orbit around the gigantic brass balls of Captain Robau.

 

[Jeri]

If a monument were built in Captain Robau's honor, Mt. Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

"We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Your cultural and biological distinctiveness... Wait, Captain Robau? Is that you? Sorry. Forget we said anything. We'll be going now."

 

[stonester1]

If a monument were built in Captain Robau's honor, Mt. Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.

There isn't enough stone in the world to build a monument that could truly represent the badassery that is Robau. Just his stones alone would tax the project beyond mortal ken.

 

[stonester1]

"We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Your cultural and biological distinctiveness... Wait, Captain Robau? Is that you? Sorry. Forget we said anything. We'll be going now."

 

[Jeri]

If a monument were built in Captain Robau's honor, Mt. Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.

There isn't enough stone in the world to build a monument that could truly represent the badassery that is Robau. Just his stones alone would tax the project beyond mortal ken.

My plan was to just give him the moon for the project.

 

[commodore64]

Robau can win without playing or even sitting down at the table.

His specialty is Fizban.

 

[stonester1]

If a monument were built in Captain Robau's honor, Mt. Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.

There isn't enough stone in the world to build a monument that could truly represent the badassery that is Robau. Just his stones alone would tax the project beyond mortal ken.

My plan was to just give him the moon for the project.

Tractor in a good chunk of the asteroid belt and you should be on your way.

 

[Squiggy]

When Mortal Kombat said "Test your might" Robau blew up his Nintendo with his mind.