TNG Caption This #155 - "Twist and Shout"

[cultcross]

That's finally it for #154 folks! I started out leaving it running because it was doing really well, and the jokes didn't seem to be getting stale, then I got distracted by some movie I went to see about Dr Spock and the Enterprize, then the board's post-movie slowdown swallowed my attempt at the weekend. So here goes!

The winners for this week: (week? )

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

With second place to:

"Sela...You are nothing like your mother!"

Second image:

Roddenberry: "One thing science fiction must never become is dated."

With second place:

In space...no one can hear you Crane.

Photoshop winner was very difficult, but eventually the winner had to be:

Data tries out his new BASTARD chip.

With runner up:

Data: "Give us the $^&!*%# boy, NOW!!!"

And special meme creation award to all the contributors to this:

Well done all

Anyway, onto the images for this time, where we visit a seldom seen but long remembered guest actor.

And Barclay.

 

[Holdfast]

http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/7458/dataeliangonzalez.jpg

Data: "Give us the $^&!*%# boy, NOW!!!"

BARCLAY: "It's not that I'm afraid of transporters, just that the panel says the isoflux synchronisation circuits are out of synch, so I can't beam down right now."

O'BRIEN (while coughing): <BULLSHIT!>

 

[AdmiralGarak]

With the Holodecks offline for a whole month, Barclay resorted to desperate new lows to live out his race car driver fantasy.

Barclay: "That's weird. It looks like someone deliberately programmed the transporter to beam me into Admiral Necheyev's office nude."
O'Brien: {snicker}
Barclay: "What?"

 

[Daneel]

BARCLAY: "Uh, Chief, I really hate to bring this up, but... well, look at it. I'm positive it was bigger than this before I beamed back to the Enterprise."

O'BRIEN: <Trying to stifle a laugh> "Oh, sure, sure Lieutenant, I believe you... It must have been caused by some new kind of --ahem-- transporter malfunction. Just let me check the buffers and I'll, uh... see what I can do... heh, heh."

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, a win! Very cool.

Barclay: "Someone has misspelled my name on this duty roster as 'Douchebarklay.'"

 

[cooleddie74]

Reg loved to do the Swiss clock dance. But only in the privacy of his quarters or a holodeck.

O'BRIEN:"You rigged the transporter control console to show nude photographs of Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher together in a hot tub?

You're my new hero, Reg. I've underestimated and misjudged you."

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as on of the winners cultcross!

[Barclay performing a motorboat on the holodeck version of Troi.]

Troi: Computer, delete Troi.

[holodeck Troi vanishes and Barclay continues for a few seconds and freezes mid motorboat]

Barclay: It's not what you think Counselor. You spilt your drink on yourself and I was trying to dry you off.

[O'brien's stomach growls loudly, he then belches, vomits, and very loudly farts]

Barclay: You don't sound so good Chief. Do you have the Tiberian Flu?

O'brian: Nope. It's just Keiko's cooking.

 

[Captain Crow]

Barclay's reaction while watching "Two Girls, One Cup".

Barclay's reaction while watching "Star Trek: Nemesis".

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Reg :"All right, boys, Barclay's movin' in, I'm takin' over see. You play ball, I'll cut you in for a piece of the pie. If ya don't, you're out - all the way out, y'know what I mean?"

Barclay's reaction while watching "Two Girls, One Cup".

or Two Girls and a can of whipped cream......
Don't ask I already gave the friend who sent it hell.

Barclay's reaction while watching Nancy Grace

 

[jep]

O'Brian: "Psst... Barclay!!! Your hangar door is open and your shuttle pods are hanging out!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Barclay couldn't decide if he liked his left hand or his right hand more.

O'Brien: "I mean, how friggin' hard is it to screw up? You just push those sliders like so and presto, you're done. Idiot!"

 

[jep]

Deleted.

 

[jep]

And just as Barclay had feared, something went terribly, terribly wrong with the transporter...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

^

Barclay's Mr. Bean impression was always a hit at parties.

Barclay: "Chief, I'm recieving a file, it's a transporter pattern... tubgirl.hsnbrg"

O'Brien: (Throws up in his mouth) "Reg, I've got work to do in the uhh... transporter room."

Barclay: "But this is the transporter room..."

O'Brien: "Bye."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Hmm, Classic Britflick reference for the win. I'll make a note of that for future reference.

Barclay: "But counselor, isn't listening to Agadoo a little unconventional as a therapy?"

Barclay: "Barclay to Sickbay, I think the Chief has just given me swine flu."

 

[jep]

Baracus: "Colonel, Murdock's doing it again!"

Colonel Smith: "Ah geez, Murdock, not the spaceman thing again!!"

Murdoch: "Who who..who is Murdock? C-c-call me 'Barclay'"

 

[cooleddie74]

One truly unpleasant side effect of holoaddiction?

Spastic bowels.

REG:"I...I beamed them into SPACE?!"

MILES:"Yep. Sure looks like it.

On the bright side, though, Ensign Naymont said I owed him a hundred credits for a poker game. Thanks for saving me the headache."

 

[cooleddie74]

Reg soon regretted letting Geordi wait an extra day to fix the toilet in his quarters.

 

[Shatmandu]

O'Brien: "I heard about your holodeck program <snirk>."
Barklay: "Really? The one where I cornholed you so much I could use your anus as a beer huggie?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

The Trek XI Forum had turned into an entertaining spectator sport.

O'Brien: "Well, try to beam me looking like you're trying to."

Barclay: "How am I supposed to do that?"

O'Brien: "I don't know. Beam casual."