I feel silly. J.J Abrams pointedly said, "Purists, stay home." It was sound advice and I should have listened. But I told myself, "Tai, you're not a purist. Sure, canon and Star Trek lore is important, but if it means revitalizing the franchise, ensuring that Star Trek endures and bringing in a whole new fanbase... then it's alright to let some things slide."
I think this movie will make enough money to put a sequel into production. I think general audiences will embrace it as a fun summer sci-fi flick. I just don't think I can get on board. Not with this creative team.
The cast was wonderful. I embraced them in the roles they played. The performances were likeable, even endearing. Zachary Quinto stole the show. Chris Pine is a worthy successor to the role of James T. Kirk. I thought the production values were top notch in every way. I have gripes, like the unneccesary redesign of the NCC-1701, but relative to my other concerns, these are minor.
The movie was awful because of the story.
Let's start with the villian. Nero's backstory, his vendetta and means of execution were all strangely similar to Shinzon's from the last film. It's almost... and I can't even believe I'm saying this, but it almost felt like they were paying homage to Star Trek: Nemesis. Sure, the villian in an action film is only really there to die to the hero... but Nero, the terrorist Romulans, the ridiculous ship--it wasn't just lazy, it was recycled. I was sitting in the theatre in disbelief. The Enterprise has saved the day from stronger adversaries on numerous occasions. And I didn't have to pay $10.25 to see it any of those times.
The entire sequence on the ice planet was an homage to Star Wars. Rather than being excited I was sadly, kind of annoyed. Kirk just happens by coincidence to run into old Spock in a cave while escaping a monster? Spock was surprised to see him. They couldn't have had Spock track down another life signal on the planet he was marooned on and follow it to the cave to save Kirk? That type of coincidence is still lame, but no--Spock was just sitting there in a random cave waiting to die (14 kilometers from a Starfleet base that he KNEW about) when in strolls in his best friend? UGH! It was contrived. It was nonsensical.
In this alternate reality, using Scottie's theories that future-spock relayed back to him--two people can be transported lightyears across space? Fine, you know what? My head isn't going to explode. I'm not a purist. (Keep
telling yourself that Tai, You are not a purist.)
You cut to a scene from 2387 during a Federation-Romulan crisis, a perfect opportunity to give us fans a quick glimpse of a Soverign class ship or some new kick-ass design and you give us a jellyfish from the Vulcan Science Academy? Really? Whatever, not important, minor gripe.
What I don't get is, why was Spock late to stop the supernova? And what difference would it have made if the "red matter" stopped the shockwave or not? What exactly would the planet Romulus have done anyway WITHOUT A STAR TO ORBIT? Of all the ships in the vast Romulan Star Armada there to witness the death of their civilization it was a bunch of terrorists (why were they terrorists in the first place?) on a mining ship that just happened to be on hand to pick up the failed ambassador, piloting their only hope? The whole sequence was just painfully bad. I've seen some ridiculous things in Star Trek, don't get me wrong. But I don't think any of them cost $150 million dollars to produce.
Look, I'm not a purist. What I am though, is a fan of Star Trek. And as best I can tell the only thing this movie added to "Star Trek" was a rehash of the Nemesis plot and the creation of an alternate reality Enterprise crew where the only major differences are an uglier ship and the utter annihilation of the planet Vulcan... which in terms of the advancement of Star Trek lore, feels like a giant Fuck you.
It's like I met a girl at a party, she wore a stunning outfit and her features were flawless. She was gorgeous in every way. I took her home with me and just as things were getting hot and heavy she kicks me in the groin.
I think the crew is great. From the top down, I felt like they all breathed new life into these legendary roles. I think they did the original series proud in their performances. I can't say I'm looking forward to them going through another mess of a story like this one. Here's hoping the next one isn't written by the Transformer folks.